My husband is the sex bunny, he wants to have sex all the time. I'm usually tired and stressed so our sex life has come down to about once or twice per month. We have different sex schedules. He wants to have sex in the morning and I want to have sex at night; thus, once or twice a month we make it work. Sometimes we go even further in between having sex. Sometimes is once every three months.
We've been married for 7 years. At the beginning we used to have sex at least once a week but not anymore. At the beginning, I looked forward to receiving oral sex, and I really enjoyed it, even to this day, I still enjoy it. But now every time my husband's face comes close to my vagina, I just cringe. I get soooo mad. If I'm in the mood, it just goes out the window. I start getting so upset, and all I want to do is push him to the side and kick him (literally). In the end, we don't have sex at all, and we both end up frustrated.
So, I have to be drunk for him to give me oral sex, and I enjoy it. But if I'm sober, I get mad at him. I resent him.
In previous relationships I always enjoyed receiving oral sex, even with my husband, I did enjoy oral sex for the first year or so in our relationship, but now, I get mad. And I've told him, I don't trust him with my vagina. He's never bitten or hurt me when he's down there. But somehow, I just don't trust him.
I don't know what to do. As is we don't have sex as much and the few times that we could have, sometimes it gets spoiled by him going down and me getting soooo upset.
Should I force me and fake it for the sake of the relationship? Or just be ok with having sex every few months in between?
It's sexually frustrating, the good news is we both relieve through masturbation.
Your hubby is what's called HD - high sex drive. He can have sex every day.
You are what's called LD - low sex drive. You can have sex 1x to 2x month.
This is common on TAM and called sexual mismatch.
I am also going through this with my wife of 17+ years. I am HD and she is LD.
Try taking this quiz and show him the results. Both of you take the quiz separately and compare afterwards. This is a start. Profiles Archive - The 5 Love Languages®
If he can have sex every day and you want sex 1x to 2x month, a serious middle ground has to be reached. There is no ideal number but having sex 2x to 3x every week is a good start. 3x week is average by the way.
Tell him you love oral sex. He should then be on adult sites seeing how to give you great oral sex.
For HD spouses, sex and physicality is what binds us to our other halves more than words will ever do. For me, sex totally unstresses me and I feel like I can take on the world. Studies show that having sex 3x every week actually reduces the chances of heart disease and attack in men by up to 50%. Less than 3x week does nothing. It's just enough to start boosting testosterone levels.
Can you go on adult sites and see the great oral sex techniques? Tell your hubby.
Do you give him great BJ's as well?
After 7 years of marriage, you still being LD, you think he is happy with that? Or do you think he is giving up....?