I think it's sad so many men blame themselves. Are you still in a sexless marriage?
Yes, but we are getting along fine. More affection than I ever got before. I am a dud in bed and I can live with that. It helps with tolerating the frequency. If I thought I wasn't a dud, then I would want more and would fantasize about leaving her to obtain more. Accepting myself as a dud allows me to accept staying - which I absolutely intend to do.
Still, I am sure plenty of men are duds. In my experience too few young women know and share what gets them off. Or maybe they just don't share with duds like me. Easier to fake it and then dump the guy and move on to find a guy who does know what he is doing. Young women who want to enjoy sex can easily find partners to keep trying until they find one who works for them. No need to invest in teaching a dud how to be better. I married someone who was uninterested in learning how to make it better for herself much less teach me how to do it. So I never learned. Maybe that makes it partially her fault but doesn't make me less of a dud.
Not fishing for compliments. I am small. Not particularly strong or fit. When young I finished very quickly. And once I was done I stopped everything. Often leaving the woman "hanging". There never was "round 2". I was too ashamed. Yes, I was willing to provide manual and oral as foreplay but never seemed to get favorable results. Didn't know what I was doing and never found anyone willing to teach me. Got lots of requests along the lines of "it isn't going to happen so can you please stop trying and just do PIV until you finish so we can move on to some other activity?" Looking back, given how bad it all was, not sure why I was so fixated on doing more of it. Sorta like asking to bash my head against a wall a few extra times. So happy I am now old and can't perform without pills. The shame permits me to avoid the activity almost entirely so I don't have to be constantly reminded of my inadequacy. And no more fights with H2 over my wanting additional sessions.
We are happy spending time together. The kids have an intact family. We each know the other will take care of us in sickness and old age. Not a bad place for a dud to wind up.