I don't know how many posts I've seen where the guy is complaining about his wife's drop in sex drive, talks about how he's been telling her how important it is to him, asking what he can do to get her going again, and then much later on, he offhandedly mentions that they have a young child. As though it's completely irrelevant.
For some of us it is largely irrelevant.
Although this happens to lots of people, it also doesn't happen to lots of others.
I read post like yours and others which talk about sex diminishing or stopping with young children, yet I have never experienced this.
Life will NEVER get back to how it was before after you have kids. If there is a preschool age child in the house, the sex life will suffer if there is not DEDICATED effort put to maintain it.
Of course life will never be the same, yet that's true with each passing year kids or otherwise.
I think it all depends upon who the people are, within that sex life.
For my wife and I, having kids hasn't significantly curtailed our opportunity or desire to share sex together. Nor did we have to put in any special effort to share sex together, when our children were Pre School aged and younger.
When the kids were babies, through being toddlers we usually had sex whenever they were in their bassinet/cot/bed or were asleep.
Once they were Pre School aged we then started to have sex while they were awake, where we would shut the door anytime morning/noon/afternoon and or evening. Or if they were asleep we would then have sex anywhere else in the house. Which remained thus until they became teen aged.
Now that they're both teens in High School, we limit sex anywhere since they now sometimes come out at night, or are coming home and staying up late. So we still have sex anytime just in our bedroom and or ensuite, or go for a drive, or have sex anywhere in the house while they're not home.
So our kids and our life have never held us back from enjoying each other a lot.
If people want to share sex together they will do exactly that. If one or more of them don't want to share sex together, then they won't.
With a one-year-old around, your wife is very likely still exhausted. The little guy is running around like crazy, needs more or less constant supervision as he's mobile and into everything, may still wake in the night, and still thinks Mommy is the centre of the universe.
My wife relates that for the most part, it was quite the holiday for her when she was at home with the kids. She says she found reading books, hanging out with friends, visiting places and all the rest while looking after the kids was all pretty easy. That also included me sometimes going away for a few days, through a few weeks and even a few months at a time for work.
In her case she took 12 months maternity leave and went back to work part time hours for the second year with our first child. While for our second she went back to work full time after taking 10 months maternity leave. Whereupon I took close to 3 years off, to look after both of them while she worked full time.
Your wife is focused on all the stuff that goes into being Mommy - feeding, laundry, housecleaning, entertaining a toddler, etc. She probably has very very little time for herself.
In our experience that still leaves a healthy ammount of free time in between. It's not like we use wash tubs and hand cranked mangles to wash our laundry anymore.
This is completely exacerbated if she is a working mom also trying to meet those obligations.
Absolutely if in a parental relationship, where one does all of the work at home as well as working full-time outside of the home.
In our experience, nether of us have ever had to commute very far for work, with living 5 through 15 minutes drive away from work being the norm in most instances. Plus we have always shared all home duties, so we take turns cooking, doing dishes, laundry, driving the kids to activities etc. Then on the occasions when one of us is away for work, we then do it all for whoever is away at the time.
If she does get a spare moment, her thoughts are probably not on sex.
If she isn't very interested in sex or is not very interested in having sex with her sexual partner, I concur her thoughts probably won't be on sex.
The more she senses your unhappiness about that, the more likely it is that she'll feel sex with you is one more obligation weighing on her, instead of finding the idea fun.
Yep, especially if she is not enamoured by the idea of having sex.
HD people find sex relaxing and a great stress reliever.
Which is one of the reasons why, my wife and I have always enjoyed sharing a very rich sex life.
LD people don't want sex until they are already relaxed and stress-free. That state of mind doesn't exist around a small child.
For many who are like that, I doubt being relaxed and stress free would make them want more sex even then.
That said not all of us feel raising children, is a particularly stressful experience.