Never Married People Have More Sex! - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 12:38 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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Maybe, maybe not. But staying single is better for avoiding dead bedroom. You can just leave without lasting repercussions.
After a bad marriage, just picking up and leaving without lasting repercussions sounds awfully good.

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post #17 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 12:57 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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This is true to a degree. What if the last time you had sex was mind blowing, but was in December, 2015?
Is there fault to be handed out for not having sex? Sometimes it is unavoidable. The time and the place never seem to happen in just the right way. Dp months of no sex between a "loving couple" No way, no how that should ever happen. I exempt sickness and injury. What I have experienced is some perceived slight that has occurred during everyday living together. Either words or actions cause hurt feelings. Rather that dealing with it one or the other will tuck away some resentment and act on it in a negative way. When that moment arrives when a kiss or a word can push the other into that pre-sex zone, the wine has been poured and the atmosphere is set, that negativity shows it's face. We the proceed to do that which is not in our own best self interest. We cause our partner to move from receptive to restive and it's because the other day she said "fill in the blank" or he didn't notice "fill in the blank". It's a lack of awareness of the moment and understanding of our own motivations.
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post #18 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 01:04 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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No; I'll have to disagree here, strongly. Yes, you're right IF the quantity/frequency is sufficient - whatever that means for you. However, great/quality sex only once or twice a year would not do it for me - it would be grounds for divorce rather than satisfaction. Or perhaps I'm just spoiled - I have sex almost daily, and it's always at least good, and once or twice a week it's positively extraordinary in quality.
Your not saying that you have great sex with your partner once or twice a year are you? I get the impression you are just making the argument for quantity. Sorry if I misread that. Easy to do on the net.
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post #19 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 01:35 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

Wow some of you guys are really skewing the numbers for those married people. I would say when I was married it was more close to 30 or at most 40 times a year, at least towards the end. I know that there were plenty of weeks long droughts mixed in along the way, Droughts that would not have ended had I not finally said something about it. Of course I was always the bad guy for even keeping track of such things. Oh well, I would say in the last year I have easily had sex over 120 times. So my odds as a divorced guy have gone up considerably. As some one else suggested. Unmarried people tend NOT to linger in bad relationships, where as once you've made that commitment to marriage, it is often far more difficult to extricate yourself from it.

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post #20 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 01:44 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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It appears that "not married but living together" results in more sex than "married and living together". Does this mean that the latter should get a divorce and keep living together?
There would be other factors besides whether or not they were married that would need to be looked at. For example:

How many children did each couple have?

How many years have they been living together and/or married.

The ages of the couples, married and living together.
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post #21 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 01:47 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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The modern world provides more alternative entertainment and more distractions. (and more porn), so I'm not surprised that people are having less sex.
This is true. A few decades ago there was a prolonged blackout in NY. The result was a baby boom 9 months later.

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I think people stay in marriages that are somewhat unhappy much longer than they would stay in casual relationships that are unhappy.
Yep
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post #22 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 02:49 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

Didn't read the article but did it specify what was considered sex? Do standalone anything (hj, bj, oral, vibrator) with a partner count? Personally I enjoy variety and I enjoy quantity. If only PIV counted my numbers are low, otherwise much, much higher. Does it really matter? I doubt it.


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post #23 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 03:21 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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....I too am spoiled. I have had sex with my spouse 10's of thousands of times. It never gets old. I guess i'm not qualified to have an opinion on quantity. I can say that with all that sex, all those orgasms, there are some memorable ones. That is what I mean by quality.....
I think that is a bit of an exaggeration. Lets assume twenty thousand to mean "10's of thousands of times.

Doing the math; 20,000 divided by 730 (or twice a day) yields 27.4 years. That is over twenty seven years of sex with your spouse twice each day. Not saying it can't be done, just that it is unlikely for a sustained length of time that is measured in decades. If you are correct, then you and your wife put Rex & Debbie to shame.

I've been married 45 years and the number of times I have had sex with my wife is far far less, like a few thousand times.

The reason your tens of thousands number jumped out at me, is that about 30 or more years ago a couple (Rex & Debbie) not far from where I live made the local headlines when it was learned that they had started their own "500 club, wanting to get to be a 700 a year club." They worked at having sex 500 times a year and did that for multiple years. Debbie the wife use to speak at church group meetings about how she viewed that frequent sex strengthened their marriage. She would also go out of her way to talk to newly weds about the importance of sex in marriage. They even appeared on some national TV talk shows. They even had a special code word for having sex, so they could talk openly about having sex without others knowing what they were saying. They referred to "having sex" as "going to Tukwila" (since it is a suburb of Seattle).

They got folks locally talking and realizing that having sex 500 times a year took a lot of effort and prioritization and nearly constant focus.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...20to%20Tukwila

Living | Lovely Place -- This Happy Couple Really Enjoys Visiting Tukwila | Seattle Times Newspaper

Living | Rex, Debby: Still `Visiting Tukwila' And Liking It A Lot | Seattle Times Newspaper

Enjoy!
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post #24 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 04:14 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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I think that is a bit of an exaggeration. Lets assume twenty thousand to mean "10's of thousands of times.

Doing the math; 20,000 divided by 730 (or twice a day) yields 27.4 years. That is over twenty seven years of sex with your spouse twice each day. Not saying it can't be done, just that it is unlikely for a sustained length of time that is measured in decades. If you are correct, then you and your wife put Rex & Debbie to shame.

I've been married 45 years and the number of times I have had sex with my wife is far far less, like a few thousand times.

The reason your tens of thousands number jumped out at me, is that about 30 or more years ago a couple (Rex & Debbie) not far from where I live made the local headlines when it was learned that they had started their own "500 club, wanting to get to be a 700 a year club." They worked at having sex 500 times a year and did that for multiple years. Debbie the wife use to speak at church group meetings about how she viewed that frequent sex strengthened their marriage. She would also go out of her way to talk to newly weds about the importance of sex in marriage. They even appeared on some national TV talk shows. They even had a special code word for having sex, so they could talk openly about having sex without others knowing what they were saying. They referred to "having sex" as "going to Tukwila" (since it is a suburb of Seattle).

They got folks locally talking and realizing that having sex 500 times a year took a lot of effort and prioritization and nearly constant focus.

Urban Dictionary: going to Tukwila

Living | Lovely Place -- This Happy Couple Really Enjoys Visiting Tukwila | Seattle Times Newspaper

Living | Rex, Debby: Still `Visiting Tukwila' And Liking It A Lot | Seattle Times Newspaper

Enjoy!
Okay, an exaggeration. I didn't do the math. I've been married 50 years. It comes out to a whole lot any way you crack it up. Call me a liar but I'm satisfied.

Nice to see that there are others here who have been married a long, long time. I guess we must be doing something right.
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post #25 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 04:49 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

Your comment makes sense, and shows how tricky it is t separate cause and effect in social science.




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Interestingly, unless I misread that article, it said that people who watch porn have MORE sex than those who don't.

Maybe that just means they have a higher sex drive?
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post #26 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 05:09 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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Okay, an exaggeration. I didn't do the math. I've been married 50 years. It comes out to a whole lot any way you crack it up. Call me a liar but I'm satisfied.



Nice to see that there are others here who have been married a long, long time. I guess we must be doing something right.


Married only 29 here plus 6 years exclusive dating prior to that. Time goes pretty quickly


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post #27 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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I think that is a bit of an exaggeration. Lets assume twenty thousand to mean "10's of thousands of times.
We have done the math - for us - and in 17 years it's more than 8000 times. Frequency was higher in the early years, of course, and slowing down over time. Not bad for pushing retirement age.

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post #28 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 07:06 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

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Okay, an exaggeration. I didn't do the math. I've been married 50 years. ......but I'm satisfied.

Nice to see that there are others here who have been married a long, long time. I guess we must be doing something right.
I will bet you are satisfied!

Yes, being married has some rewards! Well done!
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post #29 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:07 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

Through close to 21 years (almost 18 married) my 2nd wife (46) and I (45) have shared more than 5000 instances of PIV sex thus far (we started having sex on our third date).

Absent having children, some injuries, illnesses and in the past being separated from one another for weeks through months due to work. That number might have been higher, or who knows it might have even been lower?

With my first wife, who was also my first sexual partner, we shared sex around 300 times in the first year and then maintained that frequency until we legally separated in our fourth year following her infidelity.

She was 16 and I was 17 when we started together (we had sex within hours of meeting at a party), yet that didn't stop us having plenty of sex whenever we could. For example despite the fact she wasn't allowed to have her bedroom door closed when I was over. That didn't stop us going at it in her room with the door open, where she would wear a long skirt and sit on my lap at her desk. Or we would go out to a park or anywhere else and do it indoors or out.

Whereas my middle longer term relationship when I was 23 (we started having sex on our second date), saw me share sex around 200 times before I ended it.

The rest of the in-between time which featured some dating and occasional hook ups for circa 3 years, saw me having sex quite variably. So on limited occasion I would be having sex several times in a week for a week or three, with whoever I was seeing for however long I kept it going.

Otherwise I'd have sex with different women once or twice circa every 3-4 months. I could have had more, yet I sometimes turned women down and didn't always bother putting myself out there.

Based upon my experience of being in three longer term sexual relationships, versus having sex on dates or when hooking up with women at clubs/pubs and parties etc. I figure being in any form of long term sexual relationship, will see me get more sex than not being in a long term relationship.

As to having sex 500 times a year, no thanks (I've also got other things to do).

That said absent the usual caveats regarding physical distance, sickness etc, I cannot imagine staying in any sexual relationship, where the sex is less frequent than 150 times a year.
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post #30 of 56 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:08 PM
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Re: Never Married People Have More Sex!

I have read that Millennials have less sex because of the ready access to online porn. I can see that from all the internet sex forums out there. Many men are living their sex lives online. Why shower, shave and get all dressed up only to be rejected by every girl you try to meet? Just fire up the old PC and masturbate to porn and you are done with no muss or fuss.

I was born when there was no internet, cable, or color TV. There were exactly 3 networks in black and white. Married couples on TV slept in separate beds and you could not use words commonly in use today like butt or ass. You could not show a bra on TV even when advertising them. We learned about sex the right way, in the street from ill informed friends. We did not even have anything to masturbate to or to form a fantasy. All we knew about was vanilla sex which was intercourse. Oral sex on woman was considered gay by many and who knew that there was more than just the missionary position.

Despite this, we had a lot of sex. We had no choice but to go out and find women to have sex with us. We did not have a lot of options for fun, and sex is free. I am married 44 years and 30 of those years was lived sharing my wife's girlfriend who lived with us. To say that I had a lot of threesomes over that time period is an understatement. We had group sex and/or threesomes with most of our friends. We got married at the end of the hippie years where there was free love which meant a lot of sex with stoned people. That just carried through in my life. I knew I was poly since I was 11 and had two girlfriends.

We had to make up our own fantasies unlike the ready made ones you can find all over the internet almost word for word on each site. If we wanted sex we had to actually go out and meet girls 3 nights a week. For my group of friends, both male and female, looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend was the weekend activity. STD's were pretty much limited to prostitutes back then and the birth control pill gave woman a new freedom to have casual sex just like the boys did.

As far as I knew, there was a lot of sex going in my day, at least among people that I would be drawn to as friends. I now live in a retirement community that was written about all over the world due to the amount of sex going on here. We have swinger clubs, key clubs (wife swapping), meat markets where women fight over men since they outnumber then 10 to 1. Women would go to a car, have sex with a guy, return to the bar and do the same with other guys. When you know that the end is near or you have a fatal disease, you tend to want to experience as much as possible. People get arrested for public sex ever few months. The only old people not having sex are those that cannot medically do so. My wife and I have sex twice a week on average and are still into fetish play in our mid sixties.

With all the forms of entertainment available these days vying for your free time, it affects the amount of time you devote to sex. For us, sex was our main form of entertainment and on a fixed income, is still the cheapest way to have fun. Perhaps some younger people will let us know how it is with them. Of course my opinion is very subjective since I lived in an ethical non monogamous marriage and tended to have friends who also did not have traditional marriages. Sex was a big deal for my generation even though it was not talked about like it is today with forums in which you can share experiences anonymously.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
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