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My wife does all i want except oral

8K views 57 replies 22 participants last post by  Sawney Beane 
#1 ·
I know this topic as been discussed extensively, but my problem i never had oral sex exp and i heard it is good. I want my DW to try but she says my penis is smelly and it may not be hygenic.
I just want to know the process like how to clean and give her confidence about hygiene
 
#2 ·
Are you circumsized? It's not really rocket science either way... If you approach her fresh out of the shower, after you've carefully washed all your bits, then ask her what the problem really is. Has she ever done that with anyone? How's your sex life other than that?

C
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#4 ·
Wash all of the nooks and crannies on your junk and buttocks at lest three times and rinse thoroughly between soaping. Do it every day but dont ask your wife until the 3rd day to smell ya. You have to wait because the smell lingers in the skin even when it is clean.

My suggestion - Never approach for sex without bathing so she does not get a wif of body odor. Take a shower together and wash each other.
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#16 ·
Wash all of the nooks and crannies on your junk and buttocks at lest three times and rinse thoroughly between soaping. Do it every day but dont ask your wife until the 3rd day to smell ya. You have to wait because the smell lingers in the skin even when it is clean.
Holy smokes I had to do less than this for for surgery prep. No one should have to work that hard to get some lovin'.
 
#5 ·
Do you give her oral??

She might be more willing if she knows what it feels like for her.

My husband always asked for oral in a very pushy way and it turned me off. Its not that I don't enjoy giving him oral, its just that he was pushy. Also I wish my husband would trim his bush. It does not need to be shaved like women do, but trimmed would be very nice. They also have flavored lubricant that she can use on you if she does not like the taste. Maybe go to an adult store with her and look at all the options as far as lubricants and eratic gels.

Also if I give him oral I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL.....I don't like it when a guy wants to have control of a womans head while she gives oral.
 
#6 ·
-Pull back foreskin completely (if you have any)
-Build a good lather, and clean every inch. Pay special attnetion to the underside of the helmet, as various debris can get stuck there if you still have foreskin.
-Gently scratch the helmet with your fingernail to remove any skin or dried semen that may stuck on.
-Be very sure not to get any soap into your urethra, unless your into that kind of thing. Personally I think it burns like heck!


Oh, also shave your testicles, shaft, and hair around the base of your penis.


Id also suggest maybe offering your wife to shower with you. That way she can be certain it is completely clean. However, if youve never had oral before, I highly suggest you do it lying on your back and not standing in a slippery death machine (tub).
 
#7 ·
You can't just dive in with this with your wife, even though I know you are dying inside. It has to be in baby steps. Does she like to see you nude, always shower before doing this, and trim for sure. My DH even puts a dab of cologne on his hair. If she enjoys staring at you that's a HUGE step.. then, after a while maybe a month or so... your talking women time here ,when she is staring at your CLEAN body, say something like, "Honey your hands are so beautiful and soooo very soft can you CARESS my testicles?" Yes I said caress and testicles, because saying " woman grab my balls "doesn't cut it. If she DOES that , it's another baby step. See what I mean......slowly she has to fall in love with your penis..it's sounds dumb but true. All the while ALWAYS tell her thank you , only you know what I like, your so sexy honey, how do you know how to do that, I am so lucky to have a woman like you, your my fantasy, It's not being deceptive at all, compliments are like food to a woman.
:smthumbup:
MOST IMPORTANTLY SAY THESE THINGS OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM!!!

There is a book called "Sex begins in the Kitchen" by Dr. Kevin Leman, he is a hilarious author who talks about sex in marriage......

Blessings
 
#8 ·
thanks annagarret and all others, i am not actually not dying for it but just curious to have it done one time just to have that exp. I will try this step by step also just want to get opinion about hygeine because i feel if she does this sometime i will have to do something similar for her and i am not comfortable putting my mouth inside her private parts so this is going to be difficult to make this happen.
 
#9 ·
i feel if she does this sometime i will have to do something similar for her and i am not comfortable putting my mouth inside her private parts so this is going to be difficult to make this happen.
I think you are being completely unreasonable then. If you want her to shove your junk in her mouth, but have no intention of returning the favor, then don't ask for it. Don' whine or complain about something you want when you are unwilling to provide her with the same IMHO.
 
#18 ·
Ohhhh I did not see that. But lets not be too hasty - the point is not to trade sex acts right?

. If she enjoys giving him oral provided he is clean then she can decide if she wants to give and not receive. If she is satisfied in other areas and does not feel deprived then there is no problem. Why does he have to give up all hope because he is expressing an honest preference.. Thats the basis of the sugesstions. If he has to force himself to do it then why bother?

Oral sex is a loving act and in my opinion, accepting oral sex from someone who clearly does not like it is not loving. Sex between two people who love and care about each other is not a bean counting exercise. You'd need to keep a ledger on the night stand and balance the books each week. Isn't Sex an exchange of satisfactions not of sex acts. .

Supr dont force yourself to give her oral so you can get yours, how is that going to work. The best way to handle this is with complete honesty. it will get you further than doing something to her to get something. Tell her you do not like to give and ask her if there is anything else you can do for her. Then ask her how would she feel about giving you oral sex after you clean up.

You are being honest and offering to compromise and asking her how she feels about giving to you. Is she satisfied and does she have orgasms?
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#34 ·
what,

oh I just keep a soft erase board by the bed:smthumbup:

and a stop watch so we get equal time.


seriously, how would you feel if you put a bunch of thought into buying your husband a gift and he just bought you the same thing every year.or if every year you go to his parents for the holidays and then when you want to go to your parents he say aw I just feel uncomfortable going over there.

eventually you would feel resentfull and maybe even putting in less though because he dosn't apreciate it by recrocating.or quit going to his parents.

the whole world works on the tit for tat prinecable.

so I think its quite normal to feel slighted if your putting effort in for your mate and they don't put forth the same effort weather it be sex related or not. everybody kinda keeps score in their head and when the balance seems out of wack then there is a problem.

take friendship for example when your friends with someone who is overly selfish or dosn't recrocate eventually or distance yourself from them and the friendship fades.

I'm not saying it has to be exactly the same same but through comunacation the exchange you outlined above should take place.

maybe something along the lines of did that feel good I would like to recieve also. and if the partner say I really don't like that or I feel uncomfortable with that then they should offer something else but in most cases where this is a problem that dosn't happen and its very lopsided. thats when resentment builds.
 
#29 ·
Still haven't figured out if he's circumsized or not, but DH isn't and as long as he washes throughly there isn't an issue with hygiene (always does just in case:)). I agree though, don't shave but trim things down for sure. I find that shaved is too little boy like and that definitely isn't a turn on! Also, trimming things down makes the penis appear bigger fyi! Something every man wants!

Oral is very personal way more so than intercourse in my opinion, if you aren't willing to do it back, don't expect a return. Also, I prefer to do it in the shower because the water helps keep things nice and slippery and from what I've gathered the wetter the better in this area! ;) I enjoy giving hubby oral but love it in return as wellwell!
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#37 ·
I think many of them are over reacting about what i said. Dont complicate things my friends by twisting english the way want. All i said is i am not desperate and one of the reasons i am not asking my DW to do oral is because i am not prepared yet to return back the favor i usually return more than what i get when ever possible. My wife is good to me and i try to be the same. I dont see anything wrong about asking asian massage experience as i genuinely want to go for it to save money not for happy ending. I am not desperate or egoistist like the person who is finding fault about it.
 
#44 ·
I tend to agree with Catherine on this. However, while this should not be a hard and fast exchange of favors, I do think that if both of you are a little bit uncomfortable with oral activities, exploring them together can be a great way to break through this and do something new together.

Nobody should do something that they truly do not want to do, however, breaking through barriers and trying new things that you are not totally comfortable with can be very exciting. Sex should not be about always staying 100% within your comfort zone.
 
#52 ·
You consider this response forceful, bitter, and a verbal attack?? How so? Does it bother you that I said what I said or just the tone of the post?

Maybe you feel it is a diatribe because I did not give you a concrete answer like "you do this and she will do that; then you do this and she will ...."

I dont think people work like that. I shared my experiences about being very inhibited and how my husband helped me.

What I thought would come across was that it was that his attitude that tuned the tide. He made me feel safe, that is all I can tell you.

I expected to be judged for the person I was and to be pigeon-holed into a category with the added burden of trying to prove my worth (prude, selfish). I expected him to grow weary of me but he didn't. He did not give up on me, he was the first person in my life who did not give up.

He cared enough to endure my fumbling efforts with little show of frustration. He was the right man for the job.

You asked with some emphasis "What is your solution for people whose partners, of either sex, refuse to be led?" You could ask it another way - what can I do that would inspire my partner to follow me. The former puts the power in the sheep's hands the latter puts the power in your hands.
 
#54 ·
You asked with some emphasis "What is your solution for people whose partners, of either sex, refuse to be led?" You could ask it another way - what can I do that would inspire my partner to follow me. The former puts the power in the sheep's hands the latter puts the power in your hands.
Awesome, Catherine! :smthumbup:

Our own 'hands' - our thoughts and the implementation of those through our actions - are the only tools we ultimately have.

“A good leader inspires people to have confidence in the leader, a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves." ~ anon.

It sounds like you have a GREAT husband, Catherine. :)
 
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