I'm a husband in my 40s, who has been happily married for 22 years. We have two teenage kids, with one leaving the nest for college this year. My wife is a caring person, who would do most anything for my kids and I. We seldom have arguments, and share the responsibilities of household chores, and try to be on the same page together when it comes to parenting. We enjoy each other's company, and spend most of our time together, when away from work.
My concern is that we have had what most people would consider to be a below-average sex life for many years now. For the first few years of our marriage, I'm sure that we had sex multiple times a week. Mostly before kids, and when the kids were quite young. For the last 5-10 years, any sexual experiences have been very few and far between. I would say that we average once every few months. I really try to not let it bother me, but lately it's been nagging at me, and has me down in the dumps. Perhaps I'm going through a mid-life crisis. It's not that we aren't intimate at all. We hug and kiss every day, and often hold hands. She has a stressful job, that can sometimes extend into the evening, and requires travel most every month. I often give her body massages before bedtime, as I know she gets tense and stressed due to work and kids issues. The massages used to lead to sex, but she is normally too tired for it anymore. She has always had an issue with her weight, but it's never bothered me, as I still find her very attractive. The lack of energy isn't just in the bedroom. About 2 years ago I lost almost 60 lbs after improving my eating habits and ramping up exercise and activity. I always ask her if she'd like to go for a walk with me, or join me at the gym, but she always says that she's too tired or busy. Perhaps my weight loss and improved health is causing me to desire sex more now. I can usually talk to her about most things, but the subject of her weight is almost taboo, and can really cause her to be hurt and upset. Like I said, her weight has never bothered me, but the lack of activity, especially desire in the bedroom, is bumming me out.
I'm really trying not to dwell on it, but I just wish that there was something that I could do without making it an issue with her, and potentially hurting her feelings. I would really appreciate any thoughts and/or suggestions that someone may have who has faced these issues.
Much appreciated.
My concern is that we have had what most people would consider to be a below-average sex life for many years now. For the first few years of our marriage, I'm sure that we had sex multiple times a week. Mostly before kids, and when the kids were quite young. For the last 5-10 years, any sexual experiences have been very few and far between. I would say that we average once every few months. I really try to not let it bother me, but lately it's been nagging at me, and has me down in the dumps. Perhaps I'm going through a mid-life crisis. It's not that we aren't intimate at all. We hug and kiss every day, and often hold hands. She has a stressful job, that can sometimes extend into the evening, and requires travel most every month. I often give her body massages before bedtime, as I know she gets tense and stressed due to work and kids issues. The massages used to lead to sex, but she is normally too tired for it anymore. She has always had an issue with her weight, but it's never bothered me, as I still find her very attractive. The lack of energy isn't just in the bedroom. About 2 years ago I lost almost 60 lbs after improving my eating habits and ramping up exercise and activity. I always ask her if she'd like to go for a walk with me, or join me at the gym, but she always says that she's too tired or busy. Perhaps my weight loss and improved health is causing me to desire sex more now. I can usually talk to her about most things, but the subject of her weight is almost taboo, and can really cause her to be hurt and upset. Like I said, her weight has never bothered me, but the lack of activity, especially desire in the bedroom, is bumming me out.
I'm really trying not to dwell on it, but I just wish that there was something that I could do without making it an issue with her, and potentially hurting her feelings. I would really appreciate any thoughts and/or suggestions that someone may have who has faced these issues.
Much appreciated.