Can we lead married life without sex? - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #46 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:02 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

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Originally Posted by kenyaone View Post
I understand your frustration ,but two wrongs does not make a right. I think it would have been prudent if you have pushed for a one on one level to an extend he would gain confidence that he has health that needs to be corrected. Men are usually protective on issues touching on their sexual prowess. I think this is the best route for you as a couple to follow.

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Yes I understand, I don't know he was not trying to assure me at all,he knew I want to continue our marriage.I had asked him many times before involving anyone but he didn't said me anything which made me feel bad and cheated because it's the truth that he and his family knew it earlier than my marriage and they did it purpusly.
He was just protecting himself.

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post #47 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

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Sounds like your H has some problem with being with you physically, he may have been a victim of CSA or may have problems with his sexuality. Ask him to talk to you. Why is your family getting involved, surely this is between you and your H?
Yes I feel my h and his family knew everything prior to our marriage and they have cheated us.

I had asked him many times, he didn't said anything to me rather he was planning to prove me wrong and a bad wife and a characterless wife though I am not. I really tried my best to please him and his family. I was ready to adjust his health issue also but he was worried and he was blaming me without my fault so I had thought of involving my parents but they also asked Him to just take treatment but my husband said I am not allowing him to come close to myself. And this made me feel very bad and I got confirmed that he don't have any treatment so he is not interested in continuing our marriage.

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post #48 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:14 AM
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

Can you move to a new city of country if you divorce?


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post #49 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:15 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

I can't as still I am searching for job

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post #50 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

Now my h is not interested in continuing our marriage and even my parents or relatives are not interested but my parents and relatives feel that I am lying so my image is not good now.
And my dad searching for my second marriage, he cares me lot and he is being taunted in society for me but I am feeling that I am troubling my parents lot and it will create more problems in future after my divorce.

And I don't know I was really very much interested in my h and my marriage, I tried to give my best.still I miss my husband.I miss some special moments and I am aware of their cheat also.I don't know sometimes I miss my h and feel to continue my marriage and sometimes I get angry because my h and his family cheated me and my family in a very planned way.

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post #51 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:34 AM
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

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Sometimes it gets hard for few minutes only but when he tries to penetrate it was getting loose
There are a lot of aspects about sex that do not have to involve penetration that can be very satisfying. How is he regarding this aspect of intimacy? Does he hold you and bring you pleasure with his hands? Does he enjoy passionate kisses?
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post #52 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:34 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

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Now my h is not interested in continuing our marriage and even my parents or relatives are not interested but my parents and relatives feel that I am lying so my image is not good now.
And my dad searching for my second marriage, he cares me lot and he is being taunted in society for me but I am feeling that I am troubling my parents lot and it will create more problems in future after my divorce.

And I don't know I was really very much interested in my h and my marriage, I tried to give my best.still I miss my husband.I miss some special moments and I am aware of their cheat also.I don't know sometimes I miss my h and feel to continue my marriage and sometimes I get angry because my h and his family cheated me and my family in a very planned way.

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I miss my h,I still feel to talk with him but he won't receives my call.he don't need me,he won't miss me and I was lacking this when I was with him,when no one involved then he had took me granted that I had accepted his cheat and I have some problem or I have affair or my parents won't trust me or for any reason I will not leave him he was thinking so and he was not caring for me,he was not spending time with me not talking with me much,I am also not talkative but he is talkative. So I was feeling like he should care for me talk with me and be there for me but he was not there.he genuinely don't need me.

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post #53 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

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There are a lot of aspects about sex that do not have to involve penetration that can be very satisfying. How is he regarding this aspect of intimacy? Does he hold you and bring you pleasure with his hands? Does he enjoy passionate kisses?
My h was trying to please me sometimes and sometimes he was not allowing me to touch him.he was just getting angry on me.
Sometimes I only asked sorry to my h for touching him and I don't know I feel bad for this,its very odd and bad situation for me.

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post #54 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:47 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

Once I was trying to get close to him then he got angry and he asked me that do I want him to cut his part and give to me? I felt very bad for this.from then I dint forced him.

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post #55 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

But I said him I can understand his health health issue and I will wait for him and not to get tensed but I need him emotionally but he was doing everything from brain not from heart but it's OK I feel it's my fate and I am ready to adjust his health issue and continue my marriage so that my parents are not blamed in society and if we can have baby through ivf then we can try to be good parents I think

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post #56 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 08:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

Don't know what to do? I feel at least it will be confirmed to others that I am not lying or I won't be responsibility or burden to my parents

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post #57 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 08:15 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

If I stay with my h

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post #58 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 10:01 AM
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

Are you in an arranged marriage?
Arranged by whom?
What culture are you from? Are you both in same culture?
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post #59 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 10:18 AM
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

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My h was trying to please me sometimes and sometimes he was not allowing me to touch him.he was just getting angry on me.
Sometimes I only asked sorry to my h for touching him and I don't know I feel bad for this,its very odd and bad situation for me.

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If he gets angry when you touch him, then there is a serious problem causing him anxiety that your husband is unable to cope with on his own.

Unfortunately this seems like a sign that he suffered from some form of abuse or sexual trauma. It could be as simple as him being severely punished for masturbating as a child, or a previous partner may have humiliated him, or he is in a crisis regarding his sexual identity.

Based on the fact that no one in your family believes you and almost almost everyone is encouraging/blaming you to just have an affair... this seems very suspicious. It is as if his family may be very aware that perhaps he is gay but has forced him into a traditional marriage to avoid shame onto their family. They purposely want you to be the one that does something to fail so that if you do end the marriage that they can blame you and save their family's reputation of having an honorable son.

This may not be what is happening, but it seems like a probability based on what you have shared. If this is the case you need to somehow get evidence that this is what is going on before you act on it. Ask some of your trusted friends (if you have any) what they think about this scenario before allowing yourself to be too paranoid.

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post #60 of 96 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 10:34 AM
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Re: Can we lead married life without sex?

So I am gathering that you are currently separated?
How old are you and your husband?
Has he been married before?

It's a shame that everyone knows what is going on in your marital bed.
This could have been a lot more workable if privacy and respect had been practiced.
Now, everyone knows your business and they are busy gossiping.
Your husband is beyond embarrassed.
You are getting the blame for everything.

I understand that you are concerned about your families reputation, but it's time to get over it. If this is how it gets ruined in your culture, the damage is already done. There is no point in trying to get back together with a man that would treat you this way, and that can't consummate your marriage.

Move back home, and let daddy pick out spouse number two for you.

Ciao,

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