Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots? - Page 9 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #121 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 06:19 PM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

Occasionally, my wife and I have taken interactive sex questionnaires. If one is truthful,
there is a great benefit. It gets certain kinks that you may be hesitant to suggest, out into the open. We used Mojo Upgrade, and I discovered she was somewhat interested in a certain act that we were not, at the time practicing. We have since incorporated that act.
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post #122 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 07:39 PM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

Do you swallow? If so, maybe that's why he won't give you a face shot. What man wouldn't want to finish in a mouth. Anal? Not all men care for it some actually think it's disgusting.


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post #123 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 08:15 PM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

I am have male genitalia and I do not enjoy any of the acts listed in the thread title.

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post #124 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 10:44 PM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

I had anal with my wife a few times, for novelty. Neither of us enjoyed it.

Facials, never even thought of it. What's the point? What was that other thing? coitus interruptus? Utterly worthless idea.
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post #125 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 05:26 AM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

MrH and I both feel facials are a degrading act. Anal is something we do partake in though.

All people are different, it is surprising that people still question this. Your husband is the only man that should be important.
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post #126 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 06:08 AM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

I have finished on my wife before, but never the face. I would only ever do that if she specifically asked me to, and only then, rarely.

The times I've finished on her, it's been during mutual masturbation sessions only.

I've never done it after having PIV for one reason, and one reason only - the orgasm is 100x better when it's PIV or oral. Her (or my) hand just isn't the same. That said, she definitely doesn't mind when I have done it, but she's also never asked for it, either. I can tell you, however, that it's easier for her to clean up, and I actually think it's preferable for her after she's just showered. She's said as much, yet I stress that she's never asked me to do it, even in the heat of the moment. Like most women, she prefers the feeling of me finishing inside, and the afterglow and all that. Suddenly pulling out is rarely preferable, I don't think. We're not teenagers paranoid about getting pregnant.

As for oral, I don't think she'd be against me finishing on her (perhaps even the face, I actually don't know!) but she knows when I'm close, and she works that much harder. Again, like most women, I believe she enjoys the feeling of finishing me off and being responsible for my orgasm.

Here's the thing - if my wife/girlfriend/partner was into this, and specifically wanted me to, I would. It's not that I'm into this type of thing (see above), but what I AM into is pleasing my partner. If this was something she required from me, I'd be happy to oblige. But again, not every single time, for the sole reason I mentioned above.

Same with anal sex. I'm fine with it, but it's not a requirement of mine. My wife and I have done it, and she's capable of orgasming from it. But for me, it's not the same, and the sensations I receive from it aren't up to par.

If she required it as part of her sex life, I would oblige her.

Here's what I think may be going through your husband's mind: he's not convinced this isn't for his benefit only. Sounds weird, I know. But unfortunately (fortunately?) many women will do things they don't really want to do for their partners sake, and otherwise fake interest in it. I mean, that's not a terrible thing on the outset, but it happens. It can be a bit of a mind**** trying to decipher whether your partner really wants you to finish on her face, or stick it in her butt, or if she's just trying to be something she's not.

When my wife and I started dating, she was extremely vocal during sex. "**** me" "**** me harder" and the like. Totally hot at the beginning. But after several months, it was repetitive. I knew when she'd start talking, and even what she'd say. It really didn't seem spontaneous or 'in the moment'. I approached it gently after some time, and didn't insinuate so much that she was faking the dirty talk, but that it wasn't necessary. I straight up told her it was hot, but only if it was genuine. She's rarely done it since, and I honestly don't think it's because I made her self conscious about it. I truly believe it was something she was throwing in there because she thought I (or all men) like that kind of thing. She's not wrong of course, but really only when it's genuine and in the moment. If she had mixed it up a bit, or not always said the same things, I wouldn't have suspected it wasn't "her", but she showed her hand after a while

In any case, perhaps your husband isn't totally convinced you genuinely want him to do these things to you. I suppose that's his loss (provided he actually wants to), but nonetheless.

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Originally Posted by UnicornCupcake View Post
My husband and I have always had pretty normal and tame sexual appetites and up until recently I wasn't bothered by it. Lately, however, our sex life just seems so stale and boring.

He's never asked to give me a facial, anal or cum shot, but I don't mind any of these things too much so I figured that would be a good way to spice things up, right? Wrong. He doesn't seem interested in any of them and I confess it's making my feel extremely unattractive and undesirable.

I always thought men liked to do these things and I'm a little paranoid that he DOES want to do these things, just not wit me. I mean, how many men DON'T want to give a money shot now and then? What is it about me that makes the idea of these things so unappealing?

After months of playfully telling him to stick it in my ass we had a few failed (but fun attempts) at anal. I don't detest it, but I need to be drunk for it to be enjoyable and successful. I'm not saying I need to be drunk to have sex with my husband. No. But when I'm all done up and we've had a night out I tend to be in the mood more and I think that's a fair assessment for most women.

I hope we're not experiencing that Madonna/***** complex in which the thought of cuming on my face turns him off, but on some twentysomething it's appealing because I'm his wife and she's of no importance. Maybe that's a stretch, I don't know... His response and lack of interest just doesn't seem normal. I don't think he's cheating, but I think he's just a man... And men want these things, don't they?

Do any of you NOT like to do these things? If so, why?

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Last edited by alexm; 03-14-2017 at 06:12 AM.
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post #127 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 08:21 AM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

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I'm also a wanna-be chef. I love cooking.
@UnicornCupcake does your husband appreciate your cooking? Instead of spicing things up in the bedroom, perhaps your efforts would be more rewarding to spice things up in the kitchen. As the old saying goes, the way to a man's heart is through is stomach.

Regarding your fear that if men are not satisfied at home that they will just go and seek it elsewhere, I will agree with you that there are certain types of men (some that no one would suspect) that are capable of betraying their marriages. I don't think that it is exactly an issue of "not being satisfied" but much more about these men fearing the vulnerability needed in order to feel complete in the relationship.

Perhaps your husband has a boring personality, meanwhile you have a growing fear that there is just more about him that he is unwilling to share with you. Obviously you don't have a boring personality, so what exactly happens when you share some of the more dramatic parts of your past/personality with him? Does his lack of drama and simplistic personality feel like something that grounds you and helps bring stability into your life?

...much like your choice to eat very healthy foods, you have also chosen a very healthy husband to help you be mindful of taking care of yourself. But yet you struggle to understand why he would not at least have an urge to enjoy things that would not be healthy...

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post #128 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 08:46 AM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

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@UnicornCupcake does your husband appreciate your cooking? Instead of spicing things up in the bedroom, perhaps your efforts would be more rewarding to spice things up in the kitchen. As the old saying goes, the way to a man's heart is through is stomach.
Especially as we get older.

"Sex or a ham and cheese sandwich"..hmm..the choice gets more difficult with each and every passing decade.
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post #129 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 08:54 AM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

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"Sex or a ham and cheese sandwich"..hmm..the choice gets more difficult with each and every passing decade.
Indeed, but so far we're still able to rephrase that as, "Sex, and then a ham and cheese sandwich." Must keep up our energy in case there's a round two.

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post #130 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 09:15 AM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

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"Sex or a ham and cheese sandwich"..hmm..the choice gets more difficult with each and every passing decade.
Here is what gets me going! And, NO, my wife and I can NOT make this at home. We both ascend like blood thirsty vampires on our favorite Japanese restaurant together after dusk and feast on tempura rolls and some other roll that is insane and crazy just for something different!



WHAT IS THIS? SOMETHING SQUID!



...but then when we get home from our feast, we lay in bed in a rather vanilla hug and moan of pleasure as our bellies make gurgling noises.

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post #131 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 09:31 AM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

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...but then when we get home from our feast, we lay in bed in a rather vanilla hug and moan of pleasure as our bellies make gurgling noises.

Badsanta
Followed by the inevitable stench as the intestines and bowels release their gaseous contents which destroys the mood for sex if it was even there in the first place.
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post #132 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 10:31 AM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

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Followed by the inevitable stench as the intestines and bowels release their gaseous contents which destroys the mood for sex if it was even there in the first place.
That only happens with Pizza and Mexican foods. Sushi does NOT have the same bulk and oily content, so we usually just pass out after enjoying a really good meal together. Nothing more.
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post #133 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 12:58 PM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

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Ouch!

I think this comment will be relevant for the OP to read and will not sidetrack this thread, but I do sometimes wonder how much of the "wild/crazy" sex that happens in the world is driven and motivated out of some kind of fear? Then when the fear subsides, so does the wild/crazy sex! For the men that actually enjoyed things being wild/crazy, they then think that they did something wrong for it to stop, not realizing that they were just being "good men" and instilling confidence/safety in the relationship. And THEN these men turn to paying for it because they are hurt that it stopped with their wives and need it to try and feel loved again.

As messed up as that sounds, I can so see that playing out in many relationships.

The OP should be happy her husband is just simple and easy to please. Even if that is a little boring at times.

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Actually if you read David Schnarch he kind of says the exact opposite. He promotes that we each grow and get in touch with our really inner person in an integrated way (self differentiation). He also promotes self-soothing. This is the part of banishing or working through one's fear of doing certain interactions with one's spouse. Finally there is negotiation between you and your spouse to find a happy compromise that you both can live with.

In his books he talks about "sex acts" that some feel are disgusting (for you wild and crazy hot), and then explains how people can "self-sooth" and perform those things in the process of them changing who they are to meet some negotiated and mutually agreed upon common ground with their spouse.
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post #134 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 01:16 PM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

Maybe late coming to the party but felt a need to answer anyway.

facials - nope, no thanks not even a little interested. To me its just really disrespectful to the person your with. It doesn't feel any better than finishing elsewhere and being a pig doesn't turn me on. Its what I expect somebody to do to a hooker when he really wants to make her feel like trash and I simply have to much respect for all women to ever do that.

Anal - I would love to try this but my wife is 100% against it so even if she relented to trying it I wouldn't be able to do it knowing it is against her wishes. Sex is something that should be mutually enjoyable and If I even suspect that my partner doesn't enjoy what I'm doing that would be enough to make me not want to do it. The OP eludes to the fact that to try anal she needs to have a few drinks into her and she can tolerate it. I applaud her efforts in trying new things I wish my wife was as adventurous but still, the last thing I want is for my wife to have to "endure" sex with me. I want her to enjoy it not endure it.

lastly, cum shots - I'm not even sure what this means. I cum every time I have sex as I'm sure pretty much every man does. so I'm not sure what this even means.

Our lives are a novel and we, the authors. if you don't like the story line, only you have the power to change it.
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post #135 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 01:39 PM
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Re: Do any men NOT enjoy facials, anal and cum shots?

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facials - nope, no thanks not even a little interested. To me its just really disrespectful to the person your with. It doesn't feel any better than finishing elsewhere and being a pig doesn't turn me on. Its what I expect somebody to do to a hooker when he really wants to make her feel like trash and I simply have to much respect for all women to ever do that.
It's more of a symbolic degradation and power/control/dominance thing. No one gets hurt and in contrast to what you say, having done it countless times I can say with authority that it does in fact feel better than finishing elsewhere and sometimes being a disgusting dominating pig and shooting a big messy load all over your woman's face while she's in a submissive position feels really good.

Probably goes back to when we were apemen and would beat them with clubs and drag them back to our caves.

As an aside, I am going to recommend to any man who has not yet done it but is interested in trying it, not to wait too long.

When you're young and virile with an active prostate, well that's one thing. But when you're approaching 60, and you say "Here you go baby open that mouth daddy's got a present for you" and then it just sort of dribbles out, the effect is lost.
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