Contraception in marriage - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 11:19 AM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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What happens if you just time and take precautions during your cycle without using anything? Would that be too risky?
If you understand how your cycle works and you are charting daily, this will work if you are willing to practice abstinence during your fertile phase.

When you are in your fertile phase, you will want sex more than at any other time in your cycle. It is virtually impossible to avoid sex during the time you are most likely to become pregnant, therefore you would need a backup method. Some people use condoms or a diaphragm. If you choose to do this, I recommend you use two methods such as condoms and a diaphragm at the same time.

I used the fertility awareness method and it was great, except my backup method failed. lol Due to charting, I knew exactly what day to expect my period. When it didn't arrive and due to my charting and temperature, I knew I was pregnant before I even missed my period.

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post #32 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 11:26 AM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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unless she has a high medical risk for blood clots, the best is her to be on the pill. end of discussion
I didn't know we had a medical professional on board. Or is it just a selfish a**hole who won't do his part in contraception because he's too damned selfish? I'm betting it's the latter.

Personally, I think your husband should use condoms and you should double up with a barrier method. Do that for 6 months or a year. I'm telling you right now - if you take over the contraception right from the get go, your husband will turn into the same kind of selfish ass I quoted above, always expecting YOU to take 100% of the responsibility for contraception.

And if you go on the pill right now, that's the type of ass you'll create.
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post #33 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 03:13 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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I don't understand :/
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You're not the only one. I don't get the reference, either.
Effie Gray didn't get John Ruskin either, fortunately for her a painter helped her out.
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post #34 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 03:15 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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I didn't know we had a medical professional on board. Or is it just a selfish a**hole who won't do his part in contraception because he's too damned selfish? I'm betting it's the latter.

Personally, I think your husband should use condoms and you should double up with a barrier method. Do that for 6 months or a year. I'm telling you right now - if you take over the contraception right from the get go, your husband will turn into the same kind of selfish ass I quoted above, always expecting YOU to take 100% of the responsibility for contraception.

And if you go on the pill right now, that's the type of ass you'll create.
Well, that's perhaps a BIT strong <g>. But I do kind of agree, I did vote for condoms for a while then the pill later.

I don't have a lot of sympathy for the vivid condom haters, but I also don't think every guy who would prefer the pill and no condoms as a selfish ******* . Some maybe, just not every one...
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post #35 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 04:31 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

After my wife had her tubes tied one of her male relatives made some remark about that being good for me so I could have another family with my next wife. That comment did bother my wife.

I chose to have a vasectomy. Insurance wouldn't pay since they had just paid for her tubal ligation. I paid for it myself. Then the guy said that was good because now I wouldn't have to worry about getting my girlfriend pregnant when I have an affair.

But you know, that comment didn't bother my wife at all.

The world is full of idiots. You can't avoid them. Some of them are even related to us.
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post #36 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 05:45 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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And if you go on the pill right now, that's the type of ass you'll create.
Thanks for that in depth analysis. Now I know that modern medicine is the root of my attractiveness deficiency. And all this time I thought it was because I was Ugly as a bridge troll.

Mrs Nail and I decided that since it was her Body she would make the decisions on when we would try for children and she also decided which forms of contraception SHE preferred. We tried a few options. She found a daily pill to be much more convenient for her than a Double barrier system.

As to the main point of this thread I firmly believe that every couple should decide together when and if and how many children they want, and it is Strictly no one elses business. That includes extended family, clergy, and friends.

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post #37 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 06:06 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
I didn't know we had a medical professional on board. Or is it just a selfish a**hole who won't do his part in contraception because he's too damned selfish? I'm betting it's the latter.

Personally, I think your husband should use condoms and you should double up with a barrier method. Do that for 6 months or a year. I'm telling you right now - if you take over the contraception right from the get go, your husband will turn into the same kind of selfish ass I quoted above, always expecting YOU to take 100% of the responsibility for contraception.

And if you go on the pill right now, that's the type of ass you'll create.
Well, that's utter nonsense. I was on the pill early in my marriage. I actually got pregnant right away, but our first child was born, I was on the pill for awhile, then we switched to condoms and other methods. We used the pill, condoms, and spermicides for years until I chose to get my tubes tied when I had my third c-section. My husband was never an ass about contraceptives, and I definitely take offense to the notion of a woman choosing to use the pill creates an ass of a husband!

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post #38 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 08:02 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

Just adding my two cents, but I would recommend the pill, because you are virgin. Condoms have some benefits, but they are not reliable, particularly if both of you are inexperienced. The IUD has changed and is way better than it was in the 70's and 80's. My friends who have the Mirena IUD love it. But, I just got one placed today to stop bleeding (The copper one increases bleeding the Mirena tends to stop bleeding) and it hurt. It might be a good option after you have had some positive sexual experiences, but I can imagine that that feeling without some fun stuff to balance it out would put you off letting anybody put anything in you.
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post #39 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 08:16 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

Pull out method does wonders, but the pill works too.

The pill can have side effects, but every girl that I dated never had a problem. A couple friends of mine had there girlfriends get on the pill and they blew up like a blimp.

Oh btw... congrats to you and your future husband.

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post #40 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 08:30 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this question but really need your advice concerning contraception.

I am 23 and will be getting married in a few months. I am a virgin never had any sexual contact and since I will be getting married soon my fiancé and I have agreed to not have children maybe after 2 years. However, if it happens it happens, but for the time being I really do not want children yet. Since we are both young I still want to practice in my legal career first before I actually take the decision to just look after children. However, I have no real knowledge of actual contraception and am worried about the risks of it. I do want children but I don't want to risk not being able to conceive in the future.

So, though my question may seem really ignorant and misinformed. What contraception is best to use that will not cause so much affects? And if I was to stop it will everything go back to normal and will be able to normally conceive?

Thanks

When Mrs.CuddleBug and I got engaged, we discussed this as well. We decided that she goes on birth control pills, we waited about 6 months to be sure its taken effect and I also got checked for STD's. No problems, both have been done with no issues.

Side effects of birth control could be lowered sex drive and possible bloating. If that happens, try another brand of birth control and wait and see.

I asked her, would you want me to wear condoms? Mrs.CuddleBug said, no, and looked at me funny. She didn't like the fact of me wearing condoms in her, so I've never worn any to this day, 17+ years later.

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post #41 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Contraception in marriage

Well, after talking to my fiance about this topic again. He is unsure about contraceptions in general and me using the pill by risking the fact it could make me 'infertile' and that 'everyones body is different and reacts to it differently'. On top of that it seems like he is unwilling to even use the pull out method nor does he want to risk me being infertile, but wants to see a doctor about this. I really do not want to find myself pregnant after 1 month through the marriage, this makes me more worried now
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post #42 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 10:13 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

@zio I think you're over thinking this process. Is your fiance a virgin?

Only option would be condoms or no sex.

Talk to your doc. The pill will work and you'll still have kids. I think every couple I know has children and the wives used the pill.


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post #43 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 11:30 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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Personally, I have had too many friends online and in real life have side effects from the pill. Weight gain, headaches, dizziness, and low libido being the most common. I am now no longer a fan of hormonal birth control for many reasons. I'd suggest condoms for the first few months until you adjust physically to having sex and then seriously consider switching to a non-hormonal copper IUD. IUD's are good for about 5 years, but can be removed whenever you wish.
Interesting. I was on the pill 25 -30 years ago before I ever got married and I had weight gain as a side effect. My breasts got bigger too, so that was good. But not the weight gain. I craved food all the time. When I went off the pill 7 or so years after starting it, I had an adjustment period where I got acne and noticed body odor for a couple months. A second puberty. Yay?

About 10 years ago though an OBGYN recommended I get on the pill for some health reason (a polyp or something). I didn't do it, but she said the pill is a very low dose compared to when I was younger with much less side efffects, so it sounds like improvements have been made.

I would recommend condoms with spermicidal jelly at first, except that they do kill spontaneity. That would put a damper on the newlywed fun.

I understand there is some kind of long term patch now too. And maybe shots?

Maybe the OP should talk to a trusted OBGYN Dr.
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post #44 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 11:33 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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I didn't know we had a medical professional on board. Or is it just a selfish a**hole who won't do his part in contraception because he's too damned selfish? I'm betting it's the latter.

Personally, I think your husband should use condoms and you should double up with a barrier method. Do that for 6 months or a year. I'm telling you right now - if you take over the contraception right from the get go, your husband will turn into the same kind of selfish ass I quoted above, always expecting YOU to take 100% of the responsibility for contraception.

And if you go on the pill right now, that's the type of ass you'll create.
That seems a little harsh! If he's not an ass, I doubt her being on the pill will turn him into one. If he takes responsibility for birth control does that make her an ass?

regardless, your post reminded me of a friend I had years ago who was married with two kids and on the pill but started getting blood clots and had to go off the pill. Her husband would not get a vasectomy or use a condom. They ended up divorced.
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post #45 of 51 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 11:45 PM
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Re: Contraception in marriage

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Well, after talking to my fiance about this topic again. He is unsure about contraceptions in general and me using the pill by risking the fact it could make me 'infertile' and that 'everyones body is different and reacts to it differently'. On top of that it seems like he is unwilling to even use the pull out method nor does he want to risk me being infertile, but wants to see a doctor about this. I really do not want to find myself pregnant after 1 month through the marriage, this makes me more worried now
That being the case you might actually end up with a man like the famed Victorian era English art critic and patron John Ruskin, Who married Effie Gray then failed to consummate his marriage for a myriad of reasons. To the point that it created a scandal, when she sought an annulment and then married the Pre-Raphaelite painter John Everett Millais.

"He alleged various reasons, hatred to children, religious motives, a desire to preserve my beauty, and, finally this last year he told me his true reason... that he had imagined women were quite different to what he saw I was, and that the reason he did not make me his Wife was because he was disgusted with my person the first evening 10th April." - Effie Gray
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