Alcoholic here...If his drinking is causing you (his wife) a problem then drinking is a problem period!....He won't think so...you may want to go to an Alanon meeting (support group for family member of Alcoholics.)... When my wife did that...it shock me....took awhile for me to realize the problem....14 sober months (only drank on weekends, snow days, vacs etc) for me and I'm never going back there...There is no specific amount of drinking that shows toy do or don't have a problem....My wife really woke me up maybe you can do the same...and I'll tell you it's not easy for anybody...
Best of luck....we are here to help get through this....
Not to encourage excessive drinking, but this is not quite psychologically sound. There are two people in the equation. It is quite possible for someone to be overly sensitive - in fact, in the USA, this is the fastest-growing psychological problem in adults!
My wife has developed a belief that substances are the end-all and be-all for every problem...if she gets the sniffles, she doesn't wonder what's in bloom outside, she wonders what she ate that caused it. If she's upset at things that happened at work, she tries to figure out what food caused this reaction. So, when she looks back over our years together, she observes two things - that at a few social events, she did not like my behavior. And, at a few social events, I had a beer or glass of wine. Now, I don't think there was a problem with my behavior, and in one case I asked the other person involved who said "Oh, I was drunk and out of line. There was nothing wrong with you getting up when I was mid-sentence and leaving, it's probably the best you could have done." On the cases that I recall, the evenings in which she thinks my behavior was inappropriate didn't happen to be the same evenings when I had a drink. However, her insistence that all issues stem from something that one ingests leads her to be incapable of believing anything else. It's not possible that she misinterpreted the situation and it's not possible for me to have behaved that way without a drink.
So, be a bit careful about this broad brush.
What if someone doesn't like your behavior and you don't drink at all? Do you still have a drinking problem?
I've had dedicated twelve-steppers tell me "everybody's an addict. Some have simply not found the substance that will trigger it." Actual psychological studies show that only 5% or so of the population has the propensity to become addicted to substances.
Having said all that, however, the amount OP's husband is drinking is above the limit, according to every statistical measure I've ever read.