We talk about our relationship often, I try to make sure that we are on track. I mentioned that I do anything for her. I really mean that. I took a job so I am home early and I can cook(she hates cooking) I clean and do everything but laundry (she doesn't let me do that, I guess she doesn't like pink
) i did change a lot about myself (behaviour wise) to her liking. In fact my friends all make fun of me because I am "whipped" but that don't bother me as long as she is happy. (And according to her she is). This is not a new thing. We had this problem since day1 of marriage. ( we did not have sex before we got married)
Personally, having lived this myself with my ex-wife, becoming the person she
wants you to be is not conducive to attraction. It sounds counter-intuitive, but trust me, it's not.
I spent 14 years with a woman who wanted me to change this, that or the other thing. I happily complied, because I loved her, and wanted her to be happy. It made sense to me.
But it doesn't work that way 99% of the time. Over time, my ex wife lost pretty much all attraction to me. Why? Because I showed her that I wasn't my own person. I was an extension of her (and I totally was). Not just that, but there was no challenge for her. I never said no, never challenged her on anything.
One 'incident' sticks out in my mind. She once told me to, essentially, get a social life, get out of the house once in a while. So I picked up a sport I hadn't played in many years and joined a team, played once a week, occasionally went out for beers afterwards. All was good, until I was asked to join a second team, which I readily agreed to. Upon telling my wife this, she flipped out, ostensibly about the financial aspect of it (though we could more than afford it...). I was now out of the house TWICE a week for a whopping 2-ish hours each time, usually later in the evening after she'd be in bed, anyway.
But no, this was an issue. Once per week was enough in her mind. Twice was too much. Now it was "you're never home"
I actually stood my ground with this one, and although she was not happy about it, I didn't care, probably for the first time in our relationship. I was doing something for myself, and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Guess what happened? More sex. Even though she never let go of this (twice a year I had to pay up for the leagues, twice, and every new season I got an earful about it.)
She never stopped treating me like ****, and I did still ask 'how high' when she told me to jump, but I had this, and it resulted in more sex than I was previously having. Subconsciously, she respected that I was at least doing ONE thing for myself, even though it was just this.
In short, we need to respect our partners in order to be sexually attracted to them. There's a balance and a (very) fine line between being a good partner and being a butler/maid.