Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 12:47 PM Thread Starter
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Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

I have been surprised by the (seemingly) large number of posts that have come up lately about wife-watching , open or cuckold relationships. Especially on this site where the majority or posters are very clear and vocal on their opinions on this topic.

However, these posts are still getting some responses so my question is; if you have a fantasy of watching your spouse or imagining her with someone else is this something you have shared? How did you share it and what was the response?

If you are a spouse and had your partner share this fantasy with you, how did you respond? Did you think this very bizarre or did your think less of him as a result?

Thanks,
Reece
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post #2 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 04:17 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

It was with my ex. I responded positively. We did it, the act itself was not much of a big deal. Yes I did think less of him following this. Consciously I thought less of him because it was obvious that this need was driven by masochism. He enjoyed the act in the moment but he couldn't really come to grips with the reality of it after, although he would never admit this. Subconsciously, I thought less of him because I felt it did not jive with his responsibility of being the 'protector' in the relationship. This and more contributed to my total loss of respect for him.

In the end I realized that while it would be nice to satisfy this sort of sexual fantasy for a partner, my definition of a respectable man simply does not entail him sharing a woman with other men. (Not to mention all the other potential dramas associated with this type of lifestyle.) Therefore no matter how stable and healthy the relationship, I would not agree to these sexual lifestyle choices in the future.

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post #3 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 05:01 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GavinM View Post
I have been surprised by the (seemingly) large number of posts that have come up lately about wife-watching , open or cuckold relationships. Especially on this site where the majority or posters are very clear and vocal on their opinions on this topic.
It is one of the topics which likely has a large number of trolls starting them. Not that every thread on the topic is a troll, but many seem to be. There are a few hot topics like this one which attract the rabble rousers.
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post #4 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 05:11 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

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It was with my ex. I responded positively. We did it, the act itself was not much of a big deal. Yes I did think less of him following this. Consciously I thought less of him because it was obvious that this need was driven by masochism. He enjoyed the act in the moment but he couldn't really come to grips with the reality of it after, although he would never admit this. Subconsciously, I thought less of him because I felt it did not jive with his responsibility of being the 'protector' in the relationship. This and more contributed to my total loss of respect for him.

In the end I realized that while it would be nice to satisfy this sort of sexual fantasy for a partner, my definition of a respectable man simply does not entail him sharing a woman with other men. (Not to mention all the other potential dramas associated with this type of lifestyle.) Therefore no matter how stable and healthy the relationship, I would not agree to these sexual lifestyle choices in the future.
This is what I have heard is a natural biological reaction. The husband in effect puts the other man ahead of him in the social order and the wife can't help but respect him less. Like many men, I have the fantasy, but I know that to indulge it would irrevocably change how she saw me forever.
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post #5 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 07:08 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

People are welcome to their kinks, but I think acting on this one could be a problem for many people.

As a fantasy to be discussed, but not acted on, its fine. Dressing up as someone else and filming yourself with your wife is fine if she thinks it would be fun

Not my kink, so I've never given it any thought.
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post #6 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 07:36 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

Why even have a wife, if you want to watch some other man come over and **** her? I don't even understand such a mentality. If this is "your kink" I'd suggest some serious counseling to see why you want to be dominated by other men, and ridiculed by your woman.

Do you hear the people sing / Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people / Who are climbing to the light.
For the wretched of the earth / There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end / And the sun will rise...

Last edited by EleGirl; 03-25-2017 at 08:45 PM.
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post #7 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 08:26 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

So my husband has a cuckold fantasy which he shared with me. I must admit, it threw me for a loop. It is for sure nothing I am into, but of course I didn't knock it in front of him.

The only thing I can say is... when we are having sex and he starts talking to me about me being with another man... I just hate it!' lol I literally have to tune him out because it is such a turn off for me to even think of being with another man, let alone having my husband watch me with another man. There have been times when I literally dried up because when he starts talking about it, my focus shifts on it and I'm thinking wtf... and we had to stop having sex because my vagina was like **** this **** I"m out.

The thing about fantasies and fetishes are that they are real. So I can't pretend it doesn't exist. It's good because I know how to instantly get him in the mood. But I am finding the balance with trying to embrace this fantasy without turning myself off. It's a work in progress. The things we do for the people we love...

Last edited by EleGirl; 03-25-2017 at 08:39 PM. Reason: removed profanity filter bypass
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post #8 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 08:26 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

Fantasy / role play is fun if you keep it within healthy boundaries.

Not into your particular fantasy, thinking of Mrs. C with another man causes murderous thoughts, but I do fantasize about her being some **** that I am just ****ing, or that she is playing with another woman.

Keeping it in the fantasy realm is erotic and fun as well as safe.

Last edited by EleGirl; 03-25-2017 at 08:47 PM. Reason: removed profanity filter bypass
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post #9 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 08:31 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

A lot of men with this fantasy are in high powered positions and want to be degraded and embarrassed. Also many think their wife is so hot that they want to see her getting done by someone else.
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post #10 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 09:20 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keke24 View Post
It was with my ex. I responded positively. We did it, the act itself was not much of a big deal. Yes I did think less of him following this. Consciously I thought less of him because it was obvious that this need was driven by masochism. He enjoyed the act in the moment but he couldn't really come to grips with the reality of it after, although he would never admit this. Subconsciously, I thought less of him because I felt it did not jive with his responsibility of being the 'protector' in the relationship. This and more contributed to my total loss of respect for him.

In the end I realized that while it would be nice to satisfy this sort of sexual fantasy for a partner, my definition of a respectable man simply does not entail him sharing a woman with other men. (Not to mention all the other potential dramas associated with this type of lifestyle.) Therefore no matter how stable and healthy the relationship, I would not agree to these sexual lifestyle choices in the future.
Interesting. I guess this fantasy is always doomed to failure from the start because the whole cuckolding project requires the guy to become subordinate and females find this off-putting (unless losing respect for the guy is also part of the spiel...but by then it's too late).

These thoughts have crossed my mind (and I have shared them though as soon as I utter the words, I realise how ridiculous it is). In reality, I think unless I murder the guy afterwards, I would not be able to move on with my life...Very strange. I have no idea where they come from (the thoughts). Or why.
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post #11 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 09:29 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

I think that fantasies are just fantasies, they are play. So my husband likes to play up this fantasy by talking dirty about it during sex. He in no way wants me to actually have sex with another man. But the thought turns him on.

Rape fantasy, cuckold fantasy, s&m fantasy, pool boy fantasy or whatever is just play. Because when we turn into reality.... it's rape, adultery, and abuse. There is a difference between fantasy and reality.
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post #12 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 11:09 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

Sometime back, a guy came here bellyaching about how his wife cheated on him with a coworker. He then went over to SI and, deep in the middle of a very long thread, he stated that it was his suggestion that his wife sleep with another man. He said it turned him on. He planted that thought into his wife's head and over time, she grabbed on to it and ran with it. It wasn't what he expected, however, because she announced her intention to follow through with it right before she did it, giving him no time to react or object. She turned her phone off right after telling him she was going for it. Now they're in a very bitter divorce. She's jumping from one men to another and hasn't stopped ever since, and he hasn't posted in a while. I'm not going to lie: I thoroughly enjoyed seeing cucks like him suffer from their foolishness. The only victims from that familial destruction are his kids, who are being neglected by his STBXW while she goes out many evenings, leaving them little to no food. Selfish people like them deserve everything they get.

Another story by a woman who said she gave in to her husband's pressure to have an open marriage just to please him. Their marriage ended in divorce and the wife regretted compromising her values most of all.

I just don't understand this growing fad with western men wanting other men to sleep with their wives while they watch. That is so effeminate, imo, like they are low in testosterone or something. I can't really explain it.
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post #13 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 11:20 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

Hmm, I wonder if it is always degrading. Another view is that the other man is a sex toy for his wife. Someone of so little importance that he isn't on the social ladder, a slave ordered to please her.

Qgain, not my kink, so I really don't know.

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A lot of men with this fantasy are in high powered positions and want to be degraded and embarrassed. Also many think their wife is so hot that they want to see her getting done by someone else.
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post #14 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 11:26 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

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Hmm, I wonder if it is always degrading. Another view is that the other man is a sex toy for his wife. Someone of so little importance that he isn't on the social ladder, a slave ordered to please her.



Qgain, not my kink, so I really don't know.


I guess we need to ask someone who is into it. I also think this is on a spectrum. I know some men love to be told that the OM **** was bigger than theirs, and how the OM pleases them better, and basically all this sick stuff to degrade the husband.
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post #15 of 43 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 11:45 PM
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Re: Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

There are a lot more men living their sex lives online than those actually doing what they say they are doing. What you are noticing is a lot of guys who masturbate to cuckold porn until they want to experience it themselves. Online it is not really their wife and then have no emotions other than arousal. Real life is very different.

I was a cuckold before it was even called that back in 1972. That lasted a year and ended when my girlfriend asked my three visiting friends to gang bang her and then expected me to lick her clean. After that I cuckolded two husbands and one fiancee for a few months. I cuckolded my last cuck for 25 years. He liked the fact that I am married and sterile because he lost his first wife to one of her lovers.

Long story short is that most who post about it are living their sex lives online. Reality rarely mirrors our fantasies. First off, most guys cannot have sex with a husband watching. Sex with no condom is plain stupid. Randomly picking up guys in a bar is not going to snag you a guy with a large penis who can go all night.

I used to call out a lot of guys on a cuckold website until I realized that almost all of them were into online fantasy sex play and supported each other. Case in point was the guy who said his wife was cuckolding and feminizing him. His wife invited all of his friends and family over to have him serve them a meal dressed like a maid while wearing a chastity belt. He was to announce that his wife was pregnant with a black man's baby. After the meal they all urinated on him. I went back the next day to see who called him out on it but instead found 15 post either congratulating him or express jealousy that the guy did what they want to do. That is online sex sites for you. One guy said that his wife tied him to the bed when she went out to cuckold him a few nights a week and did not return until the next day. When I asked him how he went to the bathroom and the danger of being tied for so long, his story changes. The more holes I picked in his story, the more it changed. That is online sex forums for you.

Most into cuckolding are bisexual either openingly or repressed according to experts who deal with sexual problems. 60% was the last figure I saw. It certainly was the case for my wife. I never knew why she was so into watching me with other women and I was not about to kill the golden goose by asking questions. Eventually she realized that she likes sex with women. There are many reasons for cuckolding other than being bi. For some it is a live sex show with the star going home with him at the end of the night. For others it makes their wive seem more valuable because other men want her. One thing that is constant is that the sex with your wife afterwards is very intense to what is called sperm competition. In other words, you give it your A Plus game.

Some guys do it to degrade their wives or use their wives as sex objects to feed their fetish and any pleasure that their wife gets is incidental to her doing the things he wants her to do. What I tell guys interested in this is to try to find long married couples into cuckolding. They are as rare as hen's teeth. The cucks that I knew all ended up divorcing because it seems that their wives end up resenting them for not loving them enough to want them all to themselves or get tired of feeling like they are being used for their husband's fetish and he cares more about satisfying that fetish than he does about his wife. Rules are false security and when emotions kick in, wives make bad decisions. Two cuckoldresses were willing to leave their husband for me and that was the reason I left them. Did not want to ruin anyone's marriage. It is one thing when both husband and wife are into it but when the wife goes off the reservation, as they say, goes rogue, it is a much different game.

Hope I gave you some insight into cuckolding or wife sharing. Yes I have watched my wife with another man and it did nothing for me and my wife hated it. She likes to play with girls and just me.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality when the choice is monogamy or your marriage.

Last edited by Vinnydee; 03-24-2017 at 12:05 AM.
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