Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.

Fantasy of Wife Watching: Does your spouse know?

31K views 42 replies 21 participants last post by  alexm 
#1 ·
I have been surprised by the (seemingly) large number of posts that have come up lately about wife-watching , open or cuckold relationships. Especially on this site where the majority or posters are very clear and vocal on their opinions on this topic.

However, these posts are still getting some responses so my question is; if you have a fantasy of watching your spouse or imagining her with someone else is this something you have shared? How did you share it and what was the response?

If you are a spouse and had your partner share this fantasy with you, how did you respond? Did you think this very bizarre or did your think less of him as a result?

Thanks,
Reece
 
#2 · (Edited)
It was with my ex. I responded positively. We did it, the act itself was not much of a big deal. Yes I did think less of him following this. Consciously I thought less of him because it was obvious that this need was driven by masochism. He enjoyed the act in the moment but he couldn't really come to grips with the reality of it after, although he would never admit this. Subconsciously, I thought less of him because I felt it did not jive with his responsibility of being the 'protector' in the relationship. This and more contributed to my total loss of respect for him.

In the end I realized that while it would be nice to satisfy this sort of sexual fantasy for a partner, my definition of a respectable man simply does not entail him sharing a woman with other men. (Not to mention all the other potential dramas associated with this type of lifestyle.) Therefore no matter how stable and healthy the relationship, I would not agree to these sexual lifestyle choices in the future.
 
#4 ·
This is what I have heard is a natural biological reaction. The husband in effect puts the other man ahead of him in the social order and the wife can't help but respect him less. Like many men, I have the fantasy, but I know that to indulge it would irrevocably change how she saw me forever.
 
#3 ·
I have been surprised by the (seemingly) large number of posts that have come up lately about wife-watching , open or cuckold relationships. Especially on this site where the majority or posters are very clear and vocal on their opinions on this topic.
It is one of the topics which likely has a large number of trolls starting them. Not that every thread on the topic is a troll, but many seem to be. There are a few hot topics like this one which attract the rabble rousers.
 
#5 ·
People are welcome to their kinks, but I think acting on this one could be a problem for many people.

As a fantasy to be discussed, but not acted on, its fine. Dressing up as someone else and filming yourself with your wife is fine if she thinks it would be fun

Not my kink, so I've never given it any thought.
 
#6 · (Edited by Moderator)
Why even have a wife, if you want to watch some other man come over and **** her? I don't even understand such a mentality. If this is "your kink" I'd suggest some serious counseling to see why you want to be dominated by other men, and ridiculed by your woman.
 
#7 · (Edited by Moderator)
So my husband has a cuckold fantasy which he shared with me. I must admit, it threw me for a loop. It is for sure nothing I am into, but of course I didn't knock it in front of him.

The only thing I can say is... when we are having sex and he starts talking to me about me being with another man... I just hate it!' lol I literally have to tune him out because it is such a turn off for me to even think of being with another man, let alone having my husband watch me with another man. There have been times when I literally dried up because when he starts talking about it, my focus shifts on it and I'm thinking wtf... and we had to stop having sex because my vagina was like **** this **** I"m out.

The thing about fantasies and fetishes are that they are real. So I can't pretend it doesn't exist. It's good because I know how to instantly get him in the mood. But I am finding the balance with trying to embrace this fantasy without turning myself off. It's a work in progress. The things we do for the people we love...
 
#8 · (Edited by Moderator)
Fantasy / role play is fun if you keep it within healthy boundaries.

Not into your particular fantasy, thinking of Mrs. C with another man causes murderous thoughts, but I do fantasize about her being some **** that I am just ****ing, or that she is playing with another woman.

Keeping it in the fantasy realm is erotic and fun as well as safe.
 
#11 ·
I think that fantasies are just fantasies, they are play. So my husband likes to play up this fantasy by talking dirty about it during sex. He in no way wants me to actually have sex with another man. But the thought turns him on.

Rape fantasy, cuckold fantasy, s&m fantasy, pool boy fantasy or whatever is just play. Because when we turn into reality.... it's rape, adultery, and abuse. There is a difference between fantasy and reality.
 
#12 ·
Sometime back, a guy came here bellyaching about how his wife cheated on him with a coworker. He then went over to SI and, deep in the middle of a very long thread, he stated that it was his suggestion that his wife sleep with another man. He said it turned him on. He planted that thought into his wife's head and over time, she grabbed on to it and ran with it. It wasn't what he expected, however, because she announced her intention to follow through with it right before she did it, giving him no time to react or object. She turned her phone off right after telling him she was going for it. Now they're in a very bitter divorce. She's jumping from one men to another and hasn't stopped ever since, and he hasn't posted in a while. I'm not going to lie: I thoroughly enjoyed seeing cucks like him suffer from their foolishness. The only victims from that familial destruction are his kids, who are being neglected by his STBXW while she goes out many evenings, leaving them little to no food. Selfish people like them deserve everything they get.

Another story by a woman who said she gave in to her husband's pressure to have an open marriage just to please him. Their marriage ended in divorce and the wife regretted compromising her values most of all.

I just don't understand this growing fad with western men wanting other men to sleep with their wives while they watch. That is so effeminate, imo, like they are low in testosterone or something. I can't really explain it.
 
#15 · (Edited)
There are a lot more men living their sex lives online than those actually doing what they say they are doing. What you are noticing is a lot of guys who masturbate to cuckold porn until they want to experience it themselves. Online it is not really their wife and then have no emotions other than arousal. Real life is very different.

I was a cuckold before it was even called that back in 1972. That lasted a year and ended when my girlfriend asked my three visiting friends to gang bang her and then expected me to lick her clean. After that I cuckolded two husbands and one fiancee for a few months. I cuckolded my last **** for 25 years. He liked the fact that I am married and sterile because he lost his first wife to one of her lovers.

Long story short is that most who post about it are living their sex lives online. Reality rarely mirrors our fantasies. First off, most guys cannot have sex with a husband watching. Sex with no condom is plain stupid. Randomly picking up guys in a bar is not going to snag you a guy with a large penis who can go all night.

I used to call out a lot of guys on a cuckold website until I realized that almost all of them were into online fantasy sex play and supported each other. Case in point was the guy who said his wife was cuckolding and feminizing him. His wife invited all of his friends and family over to have him serve them a meal dressed like a maid while wearing a chastity belt. He was to announce that his wife was pregnant with a black man's baby. After the meal they all urinated on him. I went back the next day to see who called him out on it but instead found 15 post either congratulating him or express jealousy that the guy did what they want to do. That is online sex sites for you. One guy said that his wife tied him to the bed when she went out to cuckold him a few nights a week and did not return until the next day. When I asked him how he went to the bathroom and the danger of being tied for so long, his story changes. The more holes I picked in his story, the more it changed. That is online sex forums for you.

Most into cuckolding are bisexual either openingly or repressed according to experts who deal with sexual problems. 60% was the last figure I saw. It certainly was the case for my wife. I never knew why she was so into watching me with other women and I was not about to kill the golden goose by asking questions. Eventually she realized that she likes sex with women. There are many reasons for cuckolding other than being bi. For some it is a live sex show with the star going home with him at the end of the night. For others it makes their wive seem more valuable because other men want her. One thing that is constant is that the sex with your wife afterwards is very intense to what is called sperm competition. In other words, you give it your A Plus game.

Some guys do it to degrade their wives or use their wives as sex objects to feed their fetish and any pleasure that their wife gets is incidental to her doing the things he wants her to do. What I tell guys interested in this is to try to find long married couples into cuckolding. They are as rare as hen's teeth. The cucks that I knew all ended up divorcing because it seems that their wives end up resenting them for not loving them enough to want them all to themselves or get tired of feeling like they are being used for their husband's fetish and he cares more about satisfying that fetish than he does about his wife. Rules are false security and when emotions kick in, wives make bad decisions. Two cuckoldresses were willing to leave their husband for me and that was the reason I left them. Did not want to ruin anyone's marriage. It is one thing when both husband and wife are into it but when the wife goes off the reservation, as they say, goes rogue, it is a much different game.

Hope I gave you some insight into cuckolding or wife sharing. Yes I have watched my wife with another man and it did nothing for me and my wife hated it. She likes to play with girls and just me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TaDor
#16 ·
There are a lot more men living their sex lives online than those actually doing what they say they are doing. What you are noticing is a lot of guys who masturbate to cuckold porn until they want to experience it themselves. Online it is not really their wife and then have no emotions other than arousal. Real life is very different.

I was a cuckold before it was even called that back in 1972. That lasted a year and ended when my girlfriend asked my three visiting friends to gang bang her and then expected me to lick her clean. After that I cuckolded two husbands and one fiancee for a few months. I cuckolded my last **** for 25 years. He liked the fact that I am married and sterile because he lost his first wife to one of her lovers.


Ok so because you are a cuckold... what is it all about? What feeling does it create That turns you on? Humiliation, degrading, being dominated...
 
#18 ·
cuckolding? it is a kinky fetish. Some men have them.

Some guys love to have a woman kick their balls. over and over. Why? Who the F knows, but obviously it turns them on.

i am not going to judge another man, just point out eh inherent dangers in talking your wife into ****ing other men! Pandora had this box once and....
 
#20 ·
What I'd like to know is if this is an exclusively male fantasy, or if there are some women out there who share it, as well? (ie. watching their husband with another woman). I have yet to hear of one instance of a woman being interested in this, let alone following through.
 
#24 ·
@badsanta, very interesting theories and I think all spot on. I would guess that my ex was operating under Theory 3 when he asked me to act out this fantasy. It fits in with his extreme nice guy tendencies which were rooted in his unresolved abandonment issues stemming from childhood. And the masochistic aspect that I sensed despite his denial, and that initially threw me off. I couldn't understand, why would he torture himself this way? But what you've presented here makes sense.

I'm not familiar with karezza at all. Thanks for sharing that. The blog you refer to at the end, care to share? With that description, I'm super curious to find out more about this interesting dynamic between husband/wife.
 
#26 · (Edited by Moderator)
My wife asked me if I ever had that fantasy.

My reaction was; How would you like to watch me **** some random woman?
Our reaction was nope nope and nope.

I have difficulty with polyamory in any of its forms. Almost everyone I have met in that lifestyle has at least one broken relationship as a result.

It may be exciting in the moment, however it has an aftermath. That aftermath is deadly.
 
#27 ·
Ever see one of the old giallo movies from the 1970s...the Italian made murder-horror movies? Where you have lots of stabbing and slicing and fountains of irridecent blood flying everywhere? That's what it would look like if I saw my woman being nailed by another dude.

I'd be hacking his head off with my machete...she'd be screaming and slipping and sliding around in his blood trying to get out of there....

It wouldn't be good for any of the parties present.
 
#29 ·
Ever see one of the old giallo movies from the 1970s...the Italian made murder-horror movies? Where you have lots of stabbing and slicing and fountains of irridecent blood flying everywhere? That's what it would look like if I saw my woman being nailed by another dude.



I'd be hacking his head off with my machete...she'd be screaming and slipping and sliding around in his blood trying to get out of there....



It wouldn't be good for any of the parties present.


That's a whole different fantasy altogether :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#28 ·
Is it really a genuine fantasy? For a few maybe but my opinion is the rise of this new fetish it's just an escalation from a porn addiction. A few years ago an old TAM member made the case for this and I wish I could remember his name or saved his post. Basically a porn addict needs more and more dopamine as the porn gets more boring and mundane to the point where the wants to watch sex in person instead of on a computer screen. I don't think he necessarily wants to see his wife have sex with another man, he just wants to see live sex. His addiction has taken over common sense.
 
#35 ·
I've never wanted to watch my wife with another man, and she's never wanted to watch me with another woman. The voyeur or cuckold/cuckquean thing has no appeal for us.
 
#37 ·
Sounds like you want to broach the topic with your spouse, but in a way that might not destroy your marriage or turn your partner off.

If so, you might want to listen to the following TED topic as a way to explore Monomomish, or using extra marital sexual stimulation but in thought not action. Then maybe later talk but not touch. And even touch with nothing the violates marital vows.

Skip to the 10 minute mark to find out what she is talking about in how to have a FMF fantasy. It would also work for MFM.

This talk is a good example of how to explore a fantasy, but to keep it fantasy and not real.

As to bringing the topic up with your spouse talk to them about role playing and then show them this TED talk.

Good luck.
 
#40 ·
Thanks for all the feedback.

I have spoken to my wife about this. We both know its just a fantasy, one that we would never live ut, for all the intuitive reasons, but I was nervous about first talking to her about it. We sort of 'eased' into it based on sharing or learning of various things and her observing my reaction.

Based on the number of recent posts of the subject I was curious about, or if at all, how others broached this subject with their spouses. However, based on the limited direct responses I received I think the one poster may have been correct when they mused that a number of these recent posts on the subject might be emanating from a small number of sources. I think the fantasy might be more prevalent than people think, but not on TAM. People who are on this site generally shouldn't be drawn to this sort of thing. The opposite really.

BTW, my wife's response to this fantasy has been that she is fine with it. I expressed to her how it made me feel uncomfortable/ashamed, knowing that this aroused me but she just responded that, "If it doesnt hurt anyone and it feels good than whats the problem?" She may just be saying this to be kind but her actions have been consistent with this, so far.
 
#41 ·
Nice going. Now you've planted this thought seed into your wife's mind. Don't be surprised that consciously or subconsciously, she entertains the thought and decides that, hey, if my husband is turned on by this, and there's a guy that I'm attracted to, I think I'll go for it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top