Wife thinks about other men during sex - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 07:24 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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She's not failing to "get there" because of guilt. She got involved in the affair because romantic interest in her husband reach a low point and she decided to subsidize it with another man. The romantic interest, like most of the time, never returned and she can't reach orgasm with him for that reason She's just not that into him anymore and just providing duty sex. Evidence is when she said orgasm is not that important. (That's womanese for, "shut up about it and be happy I go to the trouble to give it up to you at all. Just hurry up and get it over with for gawd sake.) When he puts on his equipment, its like she doing it with someone else.
But why stay with her husband? I absolutely dont get it. If the sex was better and there was a choice to stay with the other person why go back to something that was not working for her? I know sex isnt everything but it is important. Its usually the first thing to go wrong in relationships, why stay for years after?

I am not saying what she did is right at all, I have no time for cheaters, its a very wrong thing to do to someone you say you love but I think there is so much more to this.

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post #32 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 07:33 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

I have read erotic books, they don't do it for me at all, too much effort needed. Porn I like. I don't think I am unique in that way. Men are not the only visual creatures, women are too.

I dont think about anyone or anything else when having sex with my husband. I dont have time. The only thing I do think about is what is happening at that time.

Looking back at the comments, it seems that the men seem think us ladies fantasize a lot. I really dont think we do. Just saying..

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post #33 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:23 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

My wife thinks about women during sex and I do not care as long as she has a great orgasm. I think about other women too and sometimes we think about the same woman, our old girlfriend. I believe that we are all responsible for our own orgasms and should do whatever it takes to get them.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality when the choice is monogamy or your marriage.
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post #34 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:30 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

assuming this is not just a troll thread...have you tried other ways of having sex? Maybe it is the kinkiness that she craves to orgasm to? there are a ton of things to try. like rape fantasies, dress up as animals and have sex (furries), tie her up with rope and play with her body until she can not help but orgasm, and so on. Maybe even just new sex positions, like doggie style?
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post #35 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 11:42 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

I don't believe my wife fantasizes about other men, but I could be wrong I guess.

I have fantasized, but the last time I did that I almost lost my erection, so now I don't do that any more.

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post #36 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 11:45 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Maybe she feels bad about the affair and its blocking hercability to let herself go? Is she remorseful? She ended up with you so must have wanted you?

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Or maybe OM didn't want her, so she came back to husband?
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post #37 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 01:05 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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What do you think of during sex? Do you experience fantasy at all or are you wholly present during the act?


No I do not experience fantasy, think of anyone else, pretend I am somewhere else, etc. I am present during sex.


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post #38 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 08:34 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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No I do not experience fantasy, think of anyone else, pretend I am somewhere else, etc. I am present during sex.


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In my opinion your missing the boat. I think that sex happens in the mind. The body is an extension of the mind. In order to enjoy sex one must "let go".
Let go of the rational part of your mind, let go of restraint, let go awareness and travel to places in your head that you can't get to any other way. The act of
sex is like a drug in that respect. A person ingests a drug via the body but the drug is experienced in the mind. A person takes a drug (read: sex) not to experience the now (present) but to experience the other.

Do you dream? Do you have imagination or creativity?
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post #39 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 08:37 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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I don't believe my wife fantasizes about other men, but I could be wrong I guess.

I have fantasized, but the last time I did that I almost lost my erection, so now I don't do that any more.

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You mean to say that you have never had a talk with your wife about what turns her on?
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post #40 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 09:01 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Imagine if someone flipped a switch and all the sudden all the world's internet porn were gone and replaced by words? Men everywhere (while very frustrated and screaming four letter words) would slowly learn what it is like to use their imaginations for the first time in forever! Then we too would think of all sorts of things. Imagine that?

Badsanta
I was married before porn. Yes you could see naked women on 5 cent arcade machines or the back of a "French" deck of cards but porn was not available. We had to rely on the pictures we made from memories in our heads.

Porn is my opinion is a short cut to stimulation.

Going back into history men and women both would look at erotic pictures or carvings. They might visit temples dedicated to lovemaking to seek arousal.
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post #41 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 09:34 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

Look OP, if you want to stay married for the sake of keeping it all together, that is your business, But as a man i have to tell you that, this is one head trip you don't need....as i see it not only did she cheat on you, not only did she disrespect you, not only did she put you through hell, but on top of that (as if that is not enough) she tells you that she thinks of him because she gave her something you can't now unless you put on an extender...talk about rewarding bad behavior....honestly can you us she worth it, i would walk away from her, she is not worth it...you need a relationship with some one who wants you for you, not for what you have to put on to get them off...remember you didn't before...this is no marriage it is a charade.
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post #42 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 10:02 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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You mean to say that you have never had a talk with your wife about what turns her on?
No, I mean to say what I said.

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post #43 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 10:10 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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In my opinion your missing the boat. I think that sex happens in the mind. The body is an extension of the mind. In order to enjoy sex one must "let go".
Let go of the rational part of your mind, let go of restraint, let go awareness and travel to places in your head that you can't get to any other way. The act of
sex is like a drug in that respect. A person ingests a drug via the body but the drug is experienced in the mind. A person takes a drug (read: sex) not to experience the now (present) but to experience the other.

Do you dream? Do you have imagination or creativity?
I never think about another man during sex with my husband, only him.
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post #44 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 10:12 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Originally Posted by TX-SC View Post
No, I mean to say what I said.

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If you never talk to your spouse about what turns her on how do you manage to turn her on?
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post #45 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 10:15 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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If you never talk to your spouse about what turns her on how do you manage to turn her on?
Who said anything about not talking to my wife about what turns her on?

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