Wife thinks about other men during sex - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #61 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:23 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

I fantasize frequently while with DH. Its not disrespectful because #1 its a fantasy #2 he knows I do that . If I take too long to cum he will whisper in my ear "baby use your fantasies". I think its hot.
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post #62 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 12:36 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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I was married before porn. Yes you could see naked women on 5 cent arcade machines or the back of a "French" deck of cards but porn was not available. We had to rely on the pictures we made from memories in our heads.

Porn is my opinion is a short cut to stimulation.

Going back into history men and women both would look at erotic pictures or carvings. They might visit temples dedicated to lovemaking to seek arousal.
You must be really old! I am 68 and I remember "stag films" we showed at frat keg parties in college. They were "porn." Porn has been a driving force in most new technological inventions, whether cameras, silent movies, talkies, color film movies, Polaroid instant cameras, electronic VHS handheld video recorders, the internet, robotics, etc. But today we have Rule 34:

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Internet. Rule 34, according to long-standing legend, goes something like this: If it exists, or can be imagined, there is Internet porn of it.
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post #63 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 12:52 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

.

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post #64 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 01:47 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Ha ha I agree. I got a kick out of that too. I used to go into skanky adult book stores to get some porn. Swedish Erotica - how long has that been out there? Playboy was late 1950's but porn is as old as the hills


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Yes, but the sheer availability of it hasn't.

I grew up in the era riiiight before the internet. Porn was somebody's dad's magazines or VHS tapes - not easy to come by, and not easy to have "alone" time with! Before internet porn was a thing, I had probably only ever seen 3 or 4 movies, and never alone.

For me, and most young boys of that pre-internet era, it was mostly the imagination that got us by. These days, it's basically 'on demand'. And readily available to anybody who has an internet connection and a curious mind.

The imagination aspect of it is loooong gone, unfortunately.

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."
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post #65 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 04:14 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Yes, but the sheer availability of it hasn't.

I grew up in the era riiiight before the internet. Porn was somebody's dad's magazines or VHS tapes - not easy to come by, and not easy to have "alone" time with! Before internet porn was a thing, I had probably only ever seen 3 or 4 movies, and never alone.

For me, and most young boys of that pre-internet era, it was mostly the imagination that got us by. These days, it's basically 'on demand'. And readily available to anybody who has an internet connection and a curious mind.

The imagination aspect of it is loooong gone, unfortunately.
I grew up and was in college where a computer class assignment was to program (via patch cords) an ibm card sorter to sort punch cards in a certain order. That was so PRIOR to internet, I can't even begin to explain how prior to modern computing and modern internet. I remember years later once seeing a poster that had EVERY www-internet site on it. They were mostly military, government and university sites.

At the house I lived in at collage, we had a collection of 35-mm stag films and would periodically do a "exchange/loan" program with another house so we could see some fresh stuff at beer parties. I even remember once when we got a "hen/lesbian" porn 35-mm film from one of the women's houses as part of an exchange. That film cause a lot of discussion for the next month. (Do they really like that kind of thing?)

Porn has been around for a long, long, long time. Yes, it does not have the widespread availability, variety, and explicitness that most of the really old stuff had, but even some of the old stuff was kind of crude.


I guess I must have had a really unusual college experience. We even once arranged a trip to a local burlesque style theater as a date night between our house and a women's house. Kind of a strippers bumping and grinding and corny off-color comedians. The women seemed to enjoy it as much as the guys did. Oh, well. Porn for me was not Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues or the women's underwear section of the Sears catalog.

Last edited by Young at Heart; 03-29-2017 at 04:19 PM.
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post #66 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 06:16 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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I grew up and was in college where a computer class assignment was to program (via patch cords) an ibm card sorter to sort punch cards in a certain order. That was so PRIOR to internet, I can't even begin to explain how prior to modern computing and modern internet. I remember years later once seeing a poster that had EVERY www-internet site on it. They were mostly military, government and university sites.

At the house I lived in at collage, we had a collection of 35-mm stag films and would periodically do a "exchange/loan" program with another house so we could see some fresh stuff at beer parties. I even remember once when we got a "hen/lesbian" porn 35-mm film from one of the women's houses as part of an exchange. That film cause a lot of discussion for the next month. (Do they really like that kind of thing?)

Porn has been around for a long, long, long time. Yes, it does not have the widespread availability, variety, and explicitness that most of the really old stuff had, but even some of the old stuff was kind of crude.


I guess I must have had a really unusual college experience. We even once arranged a trip to a local burlesque style theater as a date night between our house and a women's house. Kind of a strippers bumping and grinding and corny off-color comedians. The women seemed to enjoy it as much as the guys did. Oh, well. Porn for me was not Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues or the women's underwear section of the Sears catalog.
Oh yeah, it's been around forever, in one form or another, no doubt.

But none of your porn experiences were alone, were they? That's what I'm getting at. My teenage son takes a shower, and he brings his tablet... We can watch porn in the car, WHILE DRIVING! At work, at school, in the next room. Basically whenever and wherever we want, on a whim. No setup, no planning, nothing to put away. It's crazy. The porn of your (and my) generation required forethought and planning, lol.

Even though porn was available to people of your generation, you still had to use your imagination (or memory, I guess) when you got home later that night. Unless it was a group activity! (not judging!) Hell, same with my generation, really. I could have alone time with a magazine, but even the dirtiest magazines were rather tame compared to what's online these days. And they were still pictures. There was still some imagination and fantasy required. Even with videos (VHS!), our one TV was in the living room, basically in the middle of the house. Same with the 'family computer'. Central location in the house.

The internet made porn accessible to everyone. High speed internet made it 'on-demand', with no need to download and save it. The smart phone (and tablet) made it portable. The miracles of modern technology!

But the biggest change, IMO, is that we are now giving our children smart phones and tablets, and often their own computers. I think I was probably 15 or 16 before I saw my first sex acts that were not in a mainstream movie. And although it was x rated stuff, it was still rather tame compared to what you can find these days, without even looking hard. This generation requires absolutely no imagination or fantasy.

My 16 year old, and kids of his generation, are either going to grow up and have amazing sex lives, or the exact opposite. There's going to be nothing left to the imagination, no discovery, just expectations. Hell, sometime in the mid-late 90's, when I was dating my ex wife and we were in our early 20's, we discovered her g-spot. Neither of us had any idea that it existed, or that g-spot orgasms and squirting were a thing. That kind of discovery and experimentation is pretty much gone forever. Kids will just want to mimic what they see, and by the time they're old enough to start having sex, they'll already know everything, in theory.

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."
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post #67 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 06:56 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

shes just not that into you. shes pineing for her affair partner.
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post #68 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 07:03 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

Try spanking. I could be biased but it might add the right level of spice and she certainly deserves a little punishment for being such a bad girl.

Might release something in both of you 😊
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post #69 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 07:19 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

Araffair,

I think you are coming to the realization that you might have won the battle but lost the war....yes she let the OM go, she came back to you, but not all of her, not the part that really mattered, you have a wife and partner in name only....and you just fooling yourself that she is staying with you because she loves you with all her heart. Yes, she does love you, but she does not crave you, she does not desire you like him....I don't say this to hurt you, i say it to get to that part of you that knows this to be truth, and once you accept that as truth, then i ask you... is living with her acceptable knowing you might never be the person of her desire. if the answer is yes, then do not come back here, don't listen to us, rug sweep all the past away and accept what she can give you...but if the answer is no then the next question is, do you not owe yourself the privilege of being with someone who wants you, without an extender, who desires only you. think about it hard
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post #70 of 78 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 10:20 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Try spanking. I could be biased but it might add the right level of spice and she certainly deserves a little punishment for being such a bad girl.

Might release something in both of you 😊
Spankings rock! Especially after being bad 😊 oh yeahhh
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post #71 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 11:13 PM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

Wow that is really bad!


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post #72 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 03:46 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Try spanking. I could be biased but it might add the right level of spice and she certainly deserves a little punishment for being such a bad girl.

Might release something in both of you 😊
Or she may not like that he uses violence on her
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post #73 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 03:46 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Whatever works is fine. Do you use more than one position?
Yes loads, but how is that relevant?
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post #74 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 03:49 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Do you have any variety during sex?
Why is it that you assume that those of us who are faithful to our husbands in our minds during sex dont have variety? We have loads of variety.
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post #75 of 78 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 07:12 AM
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Re: Wife thinks about other men during sex

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Or she may not like that he uses violence on her
The spanking I am referring to would not come under the heading of any form of domestic violence.

It could be referred to as a fetish and, while to varying degrees can be uncomfortable or even painful, is consensual and can be a sexual stimulus.

It is also something that could work for a discipline in the case of a cheating spouse who is remorseful to allow a very visceral display of contrition and and submission for their betrayed.

Showing that level of submission and trust to your betrayed spouse can go a long way towards healing the breach caused by infidelity.

Along with true remorse and heavy lifting, submitting to a spanking can break down some very nasty walls built up by lies and backstabbing.

I've seen it work wonders.

Last edited by ConanHub; 04-02-2017 at 07:16 AM.
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