I think that you have this picture in your head of what the 'perfect' woman would be like in bed and she cant and never will live up to that because its not realistic. It must be so hurtful for her to have tried so hard, and been so willing, only to have had you abandon her to cheat with women in porn. How tragic that she feels like such a failure that she has even suggested that you go elsewhere for sex. Poor woman.
Be grateful for her, be thankful for her good qualities, accept her as she is and stop being discontent. You chose to marry her the way she is.
She shouldn't have to want to do all the thinks that you want, maybe she hates 'talking dirty' maybe its not her, maybe she doesn't like oral sex, we are all different. You need to be more in tune with what SHE wants and doesn't want and likes and doesn't like, and take you mind off yourself.
She wants to try everything. She has clearly expressed that she wants to give me HJ's and BJ's because she wants to make me feel good. She has clearly expressed that she wants to dirty talk but she doesn't know what to say and when she does she is too awkward to pull it off, making her feel more awkward. I'm not forcing her to do anything. There are things that we have tried, she didn't like and we haven't done again. I don't want a personal sex slave...
There is no such thing as perfect. I have been with many women. They were all different, all had different likes and dislikes. I absolutely do not expect her to be perfect. What I want is to have sex with her and feel satisfied after, not disappointed and unsatisfied. Yes, I chose to marry her but I didn't know it would be this bad. Had we had sex BEFORE we married, to be honest, I don't think marriage would have happened.
You say you cant be in love with her but you love her. I would still be in love with my husband even if we could never have sex again.
Until you are in that situation and a male, you really don't understand.
Well for whatever reason, she's more connected during sex when there's anal play. Perhaps there should be equal focus on exploring this aspect of your sex life relative to fixing her lack of passion. According to you she's putting plenty effort into piv sex for your sake, how does your effort with anal play compare?
Also, how does she explain the lack of enjoyment during piv? Does it hurt? Where/how? What about it makes it uncomfortable? What about the anal makes it more pleasurable?
I'll be honest, she puts in more effort for PIV than I do for anal. I really don't like it, I find it gross but it does feel good. That is something that I need to do for her more. Anal would allow her to use the one toy that gets her off. I'll do that more for her.
As best as I can remember... PIV hurts in the beginning right when I go in. After a few seconds it doesn't hurt anymore. She does grab me pretty hard at the beginning and slowly loosens up. The pain is on the outside, afterwards it burns when she pees. It's a tiny tear that she gets every time. Her doctor said she has weak tissue there (perenium?) and in childbirth the doctor guaranteed she'd tear bad. It only hurts the first few seconds, then she says it's totally fine. She doesn't hide pain well so I can tell she isn't lying. She said she had that problem with previous partners as well. After a few seconds when the pain stops and I'm fully inside her she basically says that she can feel me inside her but it feels like nothing, no pleasure, no pain, no discomfort, just "there's something inside me". She is probably the tightest woman I've been with. With anal she says it feels really good. A lot of feeling and sensation. Compared to not feeling anything really with PIV.