Please don't take this badly but you may be hurting him far more than you know.
He makes a suggestive comment, or something to imply he wants sex. You seem to respond positively - go turn off the light topless etc, but then reject what he actually wants.
My wife does this to me, and the teasing followed by rejection really hurts. She will go along with flirtatious actions / comments all evening, then not actually want any intimacy. It would be far better if she just told me up front that she wasn't feeling like anything sexual that evening. Otherwise I'm left trying to consciously ignore any flirting she does in order to avoid being hurt / rejected later.
This leads to the poisonous situation where I don't "trust" her flirting. Too often she flirts, I get interested / excited, only to be rejected. I develop a defense where I will play along if she flirts, but deep down I protect myself, don't let myself really believe that it means anything. So when we do have sex, I'm always starting out with the expectation that I will be rejected. Rather than a natural build-up to passion, its play-acting with my defense up, and it makes the entire experience far less enjoyable.
It teasing - not the good sort, but the bad sort where you pretend to throw a ball for your dog to catch, but don't really do it.
Of course this needs to be a two way street. Be sure he knows what arouses you, that for you the kisses on the neck mean a lot. He may not realize the thinks that matter to you, but if he knew, he might be happy to do them.
Actually, I'd say he probably initiates more than I do.
There are many times when it's a mutual initiation though.
He just did, 2 nights ago: ) It was a really good night.
Then last night, we were getting in bed later than usual and I brushed his suggestive comments aside...BUT the good news is that I am becoming more aware of how I do that. I do it a lot, I am noticing.
For example, he was already in bed as I was getting into my pajamas and I said I still need to turn the light off- which means I have to walk across the room- he mentioned something about me doing it topless, so I did, but kept my back to him, being shy, but playful about it.
Then he said to just be aggressive. I asked him what that looks like to him and he flat out said it looks like a blow job, lol! I laughed and then that was that...we kissed goodnight and I am right now realizing that was probably him wanting another night of steamy pleasure, like the previous night...but I totally wrote it off. Damn.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am in such a habit of listening with one ear when he starts making sexual comments. Not because I am against being sexual though...I don't know why?
I always take what he says with a grain of salt because, now that I really think about it, he does flirt a lot and make suggestive comments, so I suppose I am in the habit of just playing it off..never fully dismissing him though.
I flirt back, but I don't consciously see those things as his way of telling me he is interested in being sexual with me...sometimes it's not that, it's justvflirting mid-day, which is good! I like that too: )
Anyway, I think talking about it doesn't arouse me the way touching me does. It *can* if he does it in a really sensual way...especially if he is also looking at me at the same time, like wants to devour me; )
Normally, talking is fun and playful, but it doesn't get me going like a soft touch on my thigh or him slowly kissing my neck would.
I guess, too often, his words fall on deaf ears...yikes. That sounds terrible!