Haven't had sex in 2 years of marriage - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 08:59 AM
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Re: Haven't had sex in 2 years of marriage

@Holdingontoit is spot on. You're letting this man harm your husband as well as you. He should not have that right!
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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Haven't had sex in 2 years of marriage

Thank you all so much for your advice!
It took me a long time to share my problem maybe because I was afraid of being judged. For years I kept hating myself for being so gullible and for giving into an abusive relationship. I was scared that others would point that out as well.

I do consider myself very fortunate to be married to a wonderful man whom I trust. He has never been unfaithful to me in our marriage and never complained. But I don't want to test his patience, so I had to share my story.
I'll talk to my husband about this and let him know that I am willing to work on my issues.

Once again, thank you all for pointing me in the right direction. I really do appreciate your responses
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:15 PM
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Re: Haven't had sex in 2 years of marriage

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Originally Posted by blue4u View Post
For years I kept hating myself for being so gullible and for giving into an abusive relationship. I was scared that others would point that out as well.
@blue4u you have no reason to hate yourself. If you are guilty of anything, it would be your struggle to find the courage to open up to your husband regarding this topic. NO ONE would judge you or ever think less of you for that, and I am certain your husband will want to share and understand you pain with you in a way that you will feel him caring about you.

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I'll talk to my husband about this and let him know that I am willing to work on my issues.
Another step is to ask yourself and your husband to not set any immediate expectations as you work through everything. Other than the expectation that you both want to work towards making each other feel loved.
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 04:16 PM
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Re: Haven't had sex in 2 years of marriage

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My husband and I have been married for 2 years now but we haven't had sex yet.
Wow. It's difficult to consider your relationship a valid marriage. You certainly owe it to you husband to see a good sex therapist immediately. You aren't being fair to him and you are not holding up your wedding vows to him -- not because of the sex per se, but because you are not being fair and honest with him.

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My husband is absolutely nothing like that guy. He is very loving and caring and I feel guilty that I am not able to give him the physical satisfaction that he deserves. I feel like we should get an annulment/divorce so that he can be happy with someone else who is not messed up like me.
Your selflessness is striking. The fact that you would give up your own happiness to let him find happiness is moving. I'm sure he sees that love in you and knows that you are a diamond in the rough and worth it.

You need to see a therapist to save your marriage before it's too late. And you are running out of time. As time goes on, resentment will build. For me, after years of a sexless marriage, my wife has been through therapy and worked out her past. But, it's too late for us to reconcile. You get to a point where too much time is lost and too much damage is done. It's hard for the sexually abandoned partner to trust a partner that was never open about why they would reject you.

Good Luck
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 05:32 PM
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Cool Re: Haven't had sex in 2 years of marriage

Sex therapy!

And you and your H should have a fun time participating! Best of luck and marital wishes to you both!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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