Originally Posted by sevenfortyeight View Post
.... I doubt he's having an affair -
He's getting to work at 7am and downloading porn videos to his phone, watching it after he gets home, watching the videos while he is on the toilet, etc.
......Our sex life hasn't changed in any way about this except he's asked me to swing or find another guy to have sex with while he watches,. I'm not willing to, and I feel bad about not willing to fulfill this fantasy and he's ok with this - Not pressuring me which I'm grateful for.
You have a great attitude, you care for you family and H, and you understand the situation. Well done.
He probably has a porn addiction. Talk to him and ask if for you and the sake of your family he can scale back on the porn addiction and use the time to do something else, something constructive. Tell him you will support him, as you know it will be hard. Tell him that you would like the two of you to go to marriage counseling about it.
Many fantasies should be just that things that never become real. Adding a third person sexually, would likely ruin your marriage and I would advice against it. However, you and he get to decide what your really want. I wouldn't do it.
If you want to fuflill his fantasy, tell him that it must stay a fantasy and not real, but that you will allow him to explore his fantasy via roleplaying, if he will stop watching porn and pay more attention to you. There is an interesting video of a TED talk, that discusses how a woman might allow her husband to fantasize about a FMF 3-some. It involves thought but not action, action but not touch, etc. It could also work with his cuckhold fantasy. That is you could do a role playing MFM using the same techniques.
Skip to the 10 minute mark to learn about "monogomish" and a way of role playing that should not violate your marriage.
Personally, I would suggest you not fulfill his fantasy and instead get some counseling for the two of you.