ED? and other stuff - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

 73Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #31 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 03:45 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 971
Re: ED? and other stuff

Quote:
Originally Posted by sidney2718 View Post
There are also treatments that require an injection into the side of the penis. The injector is spring loaded, works quickly, and is virtually painless. There is a definite squick factor though.
Yes and there are some guys of unusual tastes who will go to great lengths or pay big bucks for medical fetish sessions.

I don't like needles. The thought of a needle or any device being pushed into and pumping stuff (pill or liquid) into my male member makes me uncomfortable. So call me, squick factor positive.

Still ED is serious stuff.....an a real issue that ads to stress in marriage.

I have been meaning to put the following link in this thread, but haven't gotten to it until now.

I would refer the reader to Table 7 on page 26 of the following PDF for the frequency of ED in various degrees by age group. The numbers are kind of shocking. Go to the following link then download the full report on PDF.

AARP Sex Survey, Divorce, Erectile Dysfunction, Sexual Habits of Boome... - AARP

Another good source of information is the following AARP article

Great Sex Without Intercourse - Older Couples, Erectile Dysfunction - AARP Ev...

Quote:
Meanwhile, men past 50 typically lose the ability to get aroused from fantasies alone; physical stimulation becomes a prerequisite to an erection. (Erections may also be less firm and more, uh, precarious.) These changes are unnerving when you first notice them — which is the same time when some men conclude, erroneously, that they've reached the twilight of their sexual careers.

Even when these mechanics and dynamics make intercourse impossible, however, sex can remain remarkably fulfilling. Despite the changes that aging invariably brings, couples open to erotic alternatives will discover that they can still attain sexual satisfaction together.

Alternatives for Men
Hand massage of the penis is key to sex without intercourse. Many men over 50 often get a firm erection during solo sex but find that a partner's strokes do not achieve the same effect. Why? Because women may not appreciate exactly how men like to be fondled. The solution? Men can show women what they want. This may feel awkward for both partners at first, but it helps the woman provide precisely what the man desires.

Fellatio is another cornerstone of great sex without intercourse. Oral sex can provide men with great pleasure — even if the penis is only partially erect.

Contrary to myth, a full erection is not necessary for ejaculation and orgasm. If men receive sufficiently vigorous stimulation, it's still quite possible for them to have a marvelous orgasm with only a partial erection (or even a flaccid penis).

Couples trying sex without intercourse might also experiment with a penis sleeve — an artificial vagina or mouth that, when lubricated, feels much like the real thing. Sold by sex-toy marketers, penis sleeves are easy to incorporate in partner lovemaking. They are recommended for men whose erections are neither firm nor persistent enough for vaginal intercourse.
Young at Heart is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #32 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 08:07 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Hudson Valley, New York State
Posts: 168
Re: ED? and other stuff

My wife Mary has me take Cialis.

In my youth my erections lasted an hour and longer. As mentioned in the edging thread, we have always teased a lot, and it was useful, but not really important one way or another. After all, Mary is responsive to clitoral stimulation, and not vaginal.

I suffer from migraines and high blood pressure. At the age of 50 I finally had to go on daily medications for those, because both got totally out of hand. My erections suffered. Instead of hour long rigid erections I could only sustain fifteen minutes or so. But still, it was fine because we play for a long time and that was certainly plenty long enough for me to get off at some point during the evening.

By the time I was 60 years old my medications were ramped up stronger and stronger, and the Erectile Dysfunction became a problem. It is a direct result of the medications, we assume. The medications do state it as a side effect. I have not stopped treatment to see. My blood pressure is just barely under control, and neither of us want to let it get out of control. The doctor has tried different drugs to get better control, and we are where we are. I'm essentially on a chemical pacemaker for some reason. But everything looks strong.

So I take Cialis. It works great. Mary loves it. She goes with me to the doctor appointments to make sure I select the correct dosages and keep the prescription going. She and the doctor talk about it while I just sit there, and agree with whatever Mary wants.
WilliamM is online now  
post #33 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 08:41 PM
Member
 
MAJDEATH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,009
Re: ED? and other stuff

Quote:
Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
Inject my unit??!!?HELL NOOO!!!! LOL!!
Don't be a coward. It is painless and easy. Ladies go thru much worse for the men in their lives. And I guarantee she will appreciate the gesture!

And unlike the oral medications, you don't have to send the medication to every part of your body thru your bloodstream and risk elevated blood pressure, heart attacks, etc. Instead you only put in exactly what you need directly where you need it. And it works quickly.

The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married - John Fischer
MAJDEATH is offline  
post #34 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 12:31 AM
Member
 
Vinnydee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Posts: 556
Re: ED? and other stuff

Waking up to an erection does not mean you do not have a physiological problem. In fact, before I was given Viagra I was asked if that happened to me. They need to know that you are capable of getting erect or else Viagra and similar will not work for you. I buy generic Viagra from India and have been for a long time. Only $1 a pill and they work just fine. Having had the brand name at $35 a pill, the pills I buy from an online Viagra store, work just as good. Even better since I do not get a headache with the generic stuff. Ask your doc for a prescription to one pill and test it out. I went from ED to doing 3 times in one night. My wife loves when I take Viagra.

There are psychological issues that can also give you ED. Some men feel less manly with a strong dominant women. I worked with such a man. All he did was complain about how his wife gave him directions during sex and how it gave him problems getting erect. I know that it is much harder for me to get erect when my wife is putting pressure on me to do so.

There are also medical conditions that cause ED as well as certain drugs. Antidepressants will mess you up. I have Diabetes which is causing my ED as well as side effects from my AD and other pills I take. Talk to your doctor first and try the little blue pill once to see if it works. If your wife is causing you mental issues, talk to her. I told my wife to stop asking me why I was not getting hard. She was taking it personally as if I did not find her attractive anymore.

First step is to rule out physical issues and I repeat, at one time the doctor had to test you to make sure you could get erect by putting a roll of stamps around your penis before you went to bed and if it broke, then the insurance company and doctor would approve Viagra. All Viagra does is lower blood pressure so that blood can more easily enter the penis to make it hard. For it to work, you need to have equipment that can work. It is not like you see in the movies. It does not give you an erection. You still need to be stimulated as normal during sex. Also check any medication you are taking for side effects. I had no idea that I had diabetes until they checked me to see if any medical conditions were causing the problem. The more you do not get erect, the harder it becomes to get hard the next time.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality when the choice is monogamy or your marriage.

Last edited by Vinnydee; 04-07-2017 at 11:19 AM.
Vinnydee is offline  
post #35 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 09:01 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,577
Re: ED? and other stuff

Ok. So I woke up hard as a board this morning and it stayed hard for the hour I laid in bed waiting to see if it would go down.

It didn't go limp until I got up, walked around for a while and made coffee, probably about 5 minutes.

I tried an experiment and, though I am not a porn advocate, I looked at a short amateur clip.

I got hard within two minutes.

I am going to test the morning wood with Mrs. Conan tomorrow to see how that works but it is looking like it might be at least partially psychological.

I'll update and I really appreciate all the advice.

There could be some health issues as well and I will get checked.

We did have sex twice this week, low count for us, and it was urgent, passionate fing.

Slow and tender love making doesn't seem to be on the menu.
ConanHub is offline  
post #36 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 02:32 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,577
Re: ED? and other stuff

BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!

Mrs. Conan and I had awesome and loving sex with no slack in the erection department!

It was awesome and I will never take it for granted again!

I just got the green light to get back in my industry yesterday and start making some good money!

I think my ed was related to my inability to provide for Mrs. Conan after I started really caring for her and falling in love with her again.

So when things were getting better between us, I was still working at a job that was way below my earning potential and it directly affected my potency in the bedroom.

Sounds pretty cliché but I guess it's true!
ConanHub is offline  
post #37 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 09:03 AM
Member
 
LosingHim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Nowhere near where it's sunny enough to make me happy
Posts: 258
Re: ED? and other stuff

How does Mrs. C react to the ED?

J has been experiencing intermittent ED over the last close to two years and I'm getting somewhat resentful of it. Not resentful that he has it, he's diabetic and has other issues, but resentful because he won't DO anything about it.

The way his penis is, he can still penetrate and receive oral without being at full staff. J's "stuff" is almost always at what would be I guess half a chub for most men. Unless he's really, really tired and then the turtle is fully in its shell. So even at this state he can still achieve orgasm. Sex still feels ok for me but it's definitely not the same. He still has strong orgasms. And right before orgasm it tends to get to its full potential.

He doesn't have trouble getting an erection so much as sustaining it. IMO as a woman it can be hard to deal with performing oral and having it go limp. Although it will come back. It's also hard to perform oral when a penis is not at full staff. It's not very easy to manipulate something that's bendy with your mouth.

I'm becoming frustrated with this - only because he won't DO anything about it. We're still both very high drive, but it's almost turning into a job for me because I feel like my main focus is on his erection.

I'll get through this, one day at a time.
LosingHim is online now  
post #38 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 09:24 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,577
Re: ED? and other stuff

@LosingHim

Mrs. Conan was concerned and very supportive of me and wanted me to get a medical check done.

I am not even in the same universe as your husband though and was seriously committed to fixing the problem.

Mine only lasted about a month and a half because I was exploring everything and found it to be mostly psychological as I am in great shape.

His erection is not your problem and I hope you don't feel it is your responsibility.

His overall attitude in your relationship is the nexus of his ED and other problems.

If he won't do anything to help get himself hard, neither should you.

If he can't get it up and you have done everything you can to convince him to work on it, I would whip out a vibrator or other toy of choice and do myself while he watched or invite him to help.

Your H is too frustrating.
ConanHub is offline  
post #39 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 09:53 AM
Member
 
wild jade's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,477
Re: ED? and other stuff

Quote:
Originally Posted by LosingHim View Post
How does Mrs. C react to the ED?

J has been experiencing intermittent ED over the last close to two years and I'm getting somewhat resentful of it. Not resentful that he has it, he's diabetic and has other issues, but resentful because he won't DO anything about it.

The way his penis is, he can still penetrate and receive oral without being at full staff. J's "stuff" is almost always at what would be I guess half a chub for most men. Unless he's really, really tired and then the turtle is fully in its shell. So even at this state he can still achieve orgasm. Sex still feels ok for me but it's definitely not the same. He still has strong orgasms. And right before orgasm it tends to get to its full potential.

He doesn't have trouble getting an erection so much as sustaining it. IMO as a woman it can be hard to deal with performing oral and having it go limp. Although it will come back. It's also hard to perform oral when a penis is not at full staff. It's not very easy to manipulate something that's bendy with your mouth.

I'm becoming frustrated with this - only because he won't DO anything about it. We're still both very high drive, but it's almost turning into a job for me because I feel like my main focus is on his erection.
ED definitely makes sex a lot more work, and often makes sex much more about him and his erection. I've learned a lot of tricks to manage it, but am also comfortable taking breaks, letting him just be soft .... and, of course, ensuring that any sex we have is also about me.
wild jade is online now  
post #40 of 40 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 09:31 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: new england usa
Posts: 255
Re: ED? and other stuff

Quote:
Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
An example of what has happened.

We get to making out and feeling each other up.

I go to give her oral and start out hard as steel.

About a minute in, my steel turns limp.

Never happened before. Usually eating at the Y produces steel not melt it.
sounds like venous leakage, i.e. not being able to keep the blood in your penis. Try slipping on one of these when you are hard, and see if it stays hard long enough to get laid.

https://www.amazon.com/Silicone-****...ords=****+ring

Last edited by Talker67; 04-19-2017 at 10:12 AM.
Talker67 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome