No, it used to be a regular thing. She has not let me go down on her since our first child was born 5.5 years ago. I would be happy to do it at a moment's notice, though. The last time she did it for me was last year on my birthday, roughly 13 months ago. The thing is, that was the last time I asked. She might be willing to do it again, but I have not asked. She has not offered, and I just can't seem to find the words to bring it up. How can I say it in a way that isn't "I know you work part-time, go to college full time, and raise 2 kids, but could you also please put my **** in your mouth?"
I'm quite sure she used to really be into sex before the kids. She used to buy lingerie, have orgasms on a regular basis (I know she didn't fake them all), make me have sex with her in risky public places, etc. It's like she doesn't even remember that she used to be that way.
I take her out on dates, maybe once a month, but overnight babysitters are hard to come by. She's so worn out, and if we have an overnight babysitter, I know she'd rather get a full night's sleep than stay up having sex with me all night.
You seem like a nice, thoughtful guy. You're worried that she's too tired for sex. You think that her giving you a blowjob is too hard on her.
She doesn't behave as you would if you were in her position, so you believe that she must be thinking what YOU would be thinking if you did what she does.
You're a giver. You feel uncomfortable asking for things for yourself, about asking for your needs to be met.
For many women, their sexual desire is based on fulfilling YOUR sexual desire.
Read the first and watch the second. What Men Think About Sex vs. Reality | The Huffington Post understanding men alison armstrong - Bing video
Strange but true story:
Recently I was telling my wife that I had been really horny the previous day. She asked why I hadn't asked her for a blowjob. I told her that she'd been complaining about her tough day at work and seemed worn out so I thought it was too much to ask. She said "giving you a blowjob would have been just what I needed to get my mind off a tough day at work and feel good about myself".
For twenty years I thought I was making my wife's life easier by not asking much of her.
It turns out that what I was really doing was depriving her of the satisfaction of making me happy.
So. Be the best husband you can be and give your wife the opportunity to be the best wife she can be.
YMMV, but it's worth a try.