My wife stopped having sex with me! - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #31 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 05:36 PM
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Re: My wife stopped having sex with me!

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Originally Posted by WilliamM View Post
...I think it will be easier for me than for her! But I just can't think I'm going to be much interested in getting off myself when she can't be allowed to.

My poor baby girl has to have complete pelvic rest for 6 weeks.

Should I lock up her vibrator? Put mittens on her hands at night? Reset her phone to get rid of her iBooks? What am I gonna do with her?....
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She enjoys the joking. It is serious surgery, for sure.

....She says she's not going to stop teasing me about sex. It's a constant in our lives, and too much fun. I didn't expect her to start so soon, though!

....And since she can't have an orgasm, which she is already missing, she is going to laugh a lot more to help her forget about it, and nothing makes her laugh more right now than teasing me about sex.
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She was offering to give me a hand, or a tongue lashing! But while she was certainly able to get me "up" while I was asleep, we both know I can't get into it if she can't have fun too. That could be part of why she found it so funny.

...I know she is saving up some really good teasing material for later. But I'm no spring chicken, I can handle it.

She says we have to watch Midsomer Murders all the way through, again. That will help.

Refrigerator? She tells me don't worry myself about it. She can bring me the menus for the take out. All she really needs is my wallet!
William, you sound like a lucky man with a wonderful wife.

I don't know whether to respond in a silly manner or a serious manner. I will start serious and then move to silly.

While your wife seems happy and silly, not all women who have this kind of surgery done are. Some question their still being a woman or not. Yes, she joked about it just being a useless muscle, but that might be an over-reaction to mask some hidden fears. My serious suggestion is that you listen to her very carefully and if you hear any 'red flags' make sure she gets some IC. In the future, orgasms might feel very different to her and that may get to her mentally.

Since she is into teasing, having you wait on her hand and foot, and using your wallet to buy things (take-out-food), why don't you tell her that now might be the perfect 6 week chance for her to seek a "once in a life time" opportunity.

She could become your dominatrix for the next six weeks, and (any of her choice) force you into 6 weeks of chastity, 6 weeks of tease and denial, 6 weeks of financial domination, and six weeks of being her slave. Tell her that if she does, she need to immediately get on Amazon dot com and buy an official dominatrix outfit to wear while she is commanding you, but that you draw the line and no whips, canes and or chains.

Then again, you could always tell her that if she misbehaves, you will have to tie her up for her own good so she will be unable to use that vibrator or her hands.

Or, perhaps you can explain to her that you will be getting into role playing doctor with her over the next six week and you need to get the proper accessories (blue scrubs, white lab coat, stethoscope, rectal thermometer, tongue depressors, latex gloves, ????). Alternately, you could be the improper male nurse to gives her sponge baths and improper massages to the parts of her body that aren't healing from surgery.

Alternate watching episodes of "Midsomer Murders" with porn episodes.

Finally, you could sit and read lusty romance novels to her, while you pour her wine.

Whatever you do, enjoy her.

Good luck!
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post #32 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 06:26 PM
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Re: My wife stopped having sex with me!

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Well, that makes perfect sense to me. Some of us are truly hands on type of gals...I used to be that way at one time...sigh





prolly no sex sadly and what a waste of space indeed. Maybe you two can baptize that room once she gets better. You won't want to leave it then.

What is stored there comes in quite handy after sex, cuz most do get hungry for food after a great sex session.
Oh, plenty of sex can be had in a kitchen!
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post #33 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 06:29 PM
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Re: My wife stopped having sex with me!

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Originally Posted by Young at Heart View Post
William, you sound like a lucky man with a wonderful wife.

I don't know whether to respond in a silly manner or a serious manner. I will start serious and then move to silly.

While your wife seems happy and silly, not all women who have this kind of surgery done are. Some question their still being a woman or not. Yes, she joked about it just being a useless muscle, but that might be an over-reaction to mask some hidden fears. My serious suggestion is that you listen to her very carefully and if you hear any 'red flags' make sure she gets some IC. In the future, orgasms might feel very different to her and that may get to her mentally.

Since she is into teasing, having you wait on her hand and foot, and using your wallet to buy things (take-out-food), why don't you tell her that now might be the perfect 6 week chance for her to seek a "once in a life time" opportunity.

She could become your dominatrix for the next six weeks, and (any of her choice) force you into 6 weeks of chastity, 6 weeks of tease and denial, 6 weeks of financial domination, and six weeks of being her slave. Tell her that if she does, she need to immediately get on Amazon dot com and buy an official dominatrix outfit to wear while she is commanding you, but that you draw the line and no whips, canes and or chains.

Then again, you could always tell her that if she misbehaves, you will have to tie her up for her own good so she will be unable to use that vibrator or her hands.

Or, perhaps you can explain to her that you will be getting into role playing doctor with her over the next six week and you need to get the proper accessories (blue scrubs, white lab coat, stethoscope, rectal thermometer, tongue depressors, latex gloves, ????). Alternately, you could be the improper male nurse to gives her sponge baths and improper massages to the parts of her body that aren't healing from surgery.

Alternate watching episodes of "Midsomer Murders" with porn episodes.

Finally, you could sit and read lusty romance novels to her, while you pour her wine.

Whatever you do, enjoy her.

Good luck!

You know, I was totally grooving on this until you said no whips, no canes, no chains.
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post #34 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 06:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife stopped having sex with me!

Thank you very much!

I hope to be able to note if she feels any less a woman due to this. She certainly isn't letting on, yet, if she is. But she doesn't talk much, so I am hoping I can spot any worry she may have in a nuance or even a missing word. It is possible she is acting more sexual because she may feel the need to compensate. These are things I talk to her about, even if she doesn't bring them up.

As it happens, she is quite submissive. I have these days off to take care of her because I think she needs it. She keeps pushing back, saying she doesn't need me to wait on her. I think she is likely to overdo it and strain herself. I am keeping very close to try to keep her from doing too much, especially any lifting.

She really liked the part where you said, "Whatever you do, enjoy her." She says Thank you!

Already she is trying to kick me out of the kitchen! She told me she is going to fix herself tea, and I have no idea how to make tea right, so she waved me away. But I have my eye on her for any lifting, especially. She probably wouldn't accept any tea I make no matter how I make it, so I can't win that one.

She is very stubborn for being so submissive.

What I need to watch for most though is any thoughts she may be less a woman. I've talked to her about it several times since the prolapse which necessitated this happened, and she is adamant she is fine with it.

My personal guess is as long as I never treat her as any less a woman she will be fine.

Maybe she teases me so much to make sure I respond correctly.

She would love me to tie her up! Her well worn wrist cuffs could get some use, but I know where her mind goes as soon as I buckle those cuffs onto her wrists! That would be disastrous. I've seen her get herself off just by rubbing her thighs together when she's been tied up.

She is a fantastic jewel. Yes, I am following her around, and even taking tasks out of her hands sometimes, but she just rubs against me and kisses me, so I think it's not driving her too crazy... yet.
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post #35 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 07:16 PM
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Re: My wife stopped having sex with me!

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Thank you very much!

....As it happens, she is quite submissive.

...She really liked the part where you said, "Whatever you do, enjoy her." She says Thank you!

...She is very stubborn for being so submissive.

What I need to watch for most though is any thoughts she may be less a woman. I've talked to her about it several times since the prolapse which necessitated this happened, and she is adamant she is fine with it.

My personal guess is as long as I never treat her as any less a woman she will be fine.

Maybe she teases me so much to make sure I respond correctly.

She would love me to tie her up! Her well worn wrist cuffs could get some use, but I know where her mind goes as soon as I buckle those cuffs onto her wrists! That would be disastrous. I've seen her get herself off just by rubbing her thighs together when she's been tied up.

She is a fantastic jewel. Yes, I am following her around, and even taking tasks out of her hands sometimes, but she just rubs against me and kisses me, so I think it's not driving her too crazy... yet.


Ok, you can tease her that if she misbehaves, that she will be punished.

Once you tie her down, you can always tell her that you either need that tongue lashing she promised or that your manhood might want to snuggle between the girls. There are always options.

If it were me and my wife in your situation, I would still offer to play naughty doctor or nurse. My wife probably would look at me, shake her head, laught and say "pervert!'

Enjoy!
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post #36 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 07:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife stopped having sex with me!

We've played naughty doctor a lot. She enjoys it. A LOT.

My first 4 year degree was biology, but after being accepted to several medical schools I decided I wasn't prepared to take on that much debt. We both regret that decision, but hey, such is life.

She says she is already going stir crazy, and it is only day 3.

We spend hours every day just making out, etc., we don't really have any idea how to fill the time otherwise.

I'm not interested in any sexual release for me, or at least not yet. I think that would just make it harder on her. All my life sex has always been about getting the girl to enjoy herself first, in a big way, before I even get started. I just can't worry about me yet. We'll see how it goes in a week or two.

My job is to make this as easy as possible for her.
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