Reason you are so jammed up here - is that in the past - you said what was true - but your delivery was neither low affect nor concise.
You will likely be pleasantly surprised by the reaction to a low affect, super concise delivery style.
Just do not bluff. Women are the ultimate poker players. They will pick up a bluff a mile away.
No offense intended but you have been sort of kind of half threatening to leave her over this crap for many years.
Let me try and be helpful here. M2 does some stuff that is - not ideal. She does. And it's patterned. Thing is - it isn't even close to end game territory. So I've learned to say what's true - clearly, concisely and calmly which is: Babe, it would be really nice if you would do X when Y happens.
That's it. She knows what's happening. And that it isn't really fair/right/defensible.
But it isn't even close to creating a true breach.
If I say: babe - that doesn't work for me - she KNOWS what that means. And it doesn't mean I'm leaving. Just that - if pushed - I might lose my motivation to do all the stuff that she is used to and loves. But my delivery isn't angry - it is more - disappointed.
I would say we're way over that, TBH. The bulk of it is on weekends, yes, but we do also have time throughout the week.
Both of the kids are old enough to not only look after themselves, and they're also not always home, either.
We don't watch a LOT of tv, but when we do, about 75% of the time we're next to each other, and at least touching (holding hands for example) and quite often straight up cuddling.
Today, we changed over our winter tires for the summers, and did it together. Younger son came out to "help" for a bit... We made a mundane chore fun. Went and got coffee afterwards. We spent an hour or so in bed this morning, awake, just chatting and laughing. We folded laundry together. Visited with my mom as a family. BBQ shopping the other day. Board game with the younger kid yesterday. Out with friends last evening. etc etc etc.
This is a typical week for us. A good mix of alone time, family time, and friends. I also get out on my own for at least a few hours a week, and each of us has a healthy amount of true alone time (apart from each other, and often the kids).