Can't argue with that!
I'm curious, though. Is that really all she will give you?
Certainly from what you've said, she seems a private person who is uncomfortable with revealing her deep darks. But it also seems she is free enough with some information. Is that not enough for you to work with?
(I get the impression that sometimes you simply don't believe her when she tells you how she is.)
Here I am assuming again...!
I think she's always been a little insecure about herself. She's had the normal amount of relationship pains (a-holes, cheaters, users, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary, I don't think). Couple that with a general inability to cope with things (she shuts down, effectively), you can start to see why she is the way she is.
I've only said this here once or twice before, but she and I were high school sweethearts, our first boyfriend/girlfriend. Almost 3 years together. Broke up at the end of high school. I dated (briefly) and then met my now ex-wife. She dated like any normal 18 year old would, then met a guy she stayed with. Our relationship, despite being 3 years long, was not super
-serious. We were exclusive, but it was also more a learning experience than anything else. We talked about college, and living together, and marriage and kids, but I don't think either of us really believed we'd go that route.
I've also said that I think she was once capable of giving her all to somebody - and it seems as though it was her next serious relationship. That somebody took that trust and threw it away, causing great pain. Also lasted 3 years. She didn't have another serious relationship until 6 or 7 years later. He did the same thing. Ended at 3 years. And I came along about a year after that. And here I am.
Each of her previous LTR's lasted about 3 years. It's not a surprise that our relationship changed around this general period of time, too, I don't think. The first (her and I in high school) didn't end badly. We just went our separate ways after high school ended. She did break my heart, but whatever - teenage love, it's to be expected! The second, he started cheating. The third, he turned into a grade 'A' ******* after their child was born.
None of those LTR's ended for the same reason, nor did they really have anything to do with her sexuality, however, they did kind of all have a link to sex, in one way or another. With ours, it fizzled out, but we both also realized we wanted to test the waters and see what else was out there (she was just the one to say it first, hence the broken heart, lol!). With the second, he started cheating on her. Why, I don't know. They were like 20, and had just moved in together after like 2 1/2 years of dating. I don't get the impression she "drove him to it". Maybe he got scared. The third, she didn't "put out" quickly enough after giving birth, and as his previous marriage ended with his ex wife cheating, he obviously triggered and started down that road with her. Like within less than a month of having a c-section, she was "clearly getting it elsewhere" because he wasn't getting any
True story. Jeckyl and Hyde, as she puts it.
When you say that I don't believe her, that's not exactly true. When she self-identified as asexual several years ago (which was introduced to her by me, sigh) I thought it made sense. And at the time, it did. However, upon reflection (and over analyzation!) I don't believe that's really the case. I would not, and have not ever said that to her, however. But the more I (over) think about it, the more I see a pattern with her previous LTR's. The reality is that she was much more free, sexually, when casually dating, or single. When there was no chance of getting hurt. Follow what I mean?
Anyway, I hate analyzing her like that, it's not fair. It is what it is. I don't really want to revisit this particular topic