, I read your post with my mouth hanging open because I could have posted the exact same thing pretty much word for word. Including that I decided that this weekend is the weekend where it doesn't happen. My husband is pretty much the same as your wife - same time, never initiates, turns me down, etc. We've talked for decades and it isn't changing. I should say, I've tried talking and he gets mad when I do. I've decided it isn't a dealbreaker for me and I deal with it, it isn't a huge glaring problem for me but every once in a while it bubbles to the surface.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I know EXACTLY where you are coming from.
Hey, we have something in common! lol, J/K
Yeah, I'm not planning this to try and fix things really. It's truly just that I'm sick of it.
I like sex as much as the next guy or girl - the actual act, I mean - but it's everything else that goes with sex that I'm desperately missing.
I have little doubt my wife actually DOES want to have sex, and with me, at that - but not at any time other than the one that she currently schedules in her mind. I imagine your husband is the same way. I don't believe I've ever read that you have any complaints about the actual sex you have with your husband, and I certainly don't with my wife - just that it's everything else that goes with sex, the other 99% of any given week.
I don't know about you, but for me, it's not the frequency at all. Once a week is do-able for me. Like you, I imagine, I'd prefer more, but it's not the be-all, end-all. It's just "show some interest, or at least humour me outside of this same exact time frame every week, FFS".
You and I have zero control over our sex lives, and that's the issue for me. Telling myself I can
say no, that I'm going
to say no, gives me a level of control. It may not solve things, it may even make it worse, but at this point, eff that.
In reality, I don't want any expectation of sex, whatsoever. I mean, I expect to have sex, but not in this way. I'd like to go out on a date with my wife, come home, and have her lead me upstairs, or jump me, or touch me in the car on the way home. **** normal people do with their partners. **** that I do, or try to do, with her, but it flies right over her head or is ignored.
It infuriates me further, because I don't know how many times female friends of ours remark how well I treat her, or tell her that she's lucky, or (in more than one case) turn to their husbands and say "why don't you do things like that for me?". Hell, she tells me when her girlfriends say things like this to her and I'm not around.
ps. Good luck! Let's compare notes on Monday