OK, so thought maybe this might be helpful since I feel like some of the issues you have described have gotten twisted around a little. Maybe you can confirm/clarify:
- You are fine with having sex 1x a week (wouldn't complain if it happened more lol). Your issue is that it is on your Ws terms only, which appears to be it has to happen per the schedule? If you attempt to start anything outside of the schedule, she rejects you?
- The scheduled 1x a week, would you say this is her "compromise", or was this pretty much how it had been for a while, and the only difference now is that you get a guaranteed weekend day set aside?
- You are not looking for her to take control of the situation or some dramatic shift in power? You are happy to pick up most of the slack, and at the end of the day you just want her to take some sort of shared responsibility in maintaining a healthy sex life in your marriage?
- Are you whining / pleading for sex? I have no idea where this has come from, but seems like a guy exhibiting frustration or concern over his sex life has been viewed as whining ....
- Do you consider yourself less "manly" b/c you feel she should have some sort of shared responsibility with this (i.e. if that means she needs to initiate periodically, all of a sudden now she is wearing the pants in the relationship)?
- You have openly discussed these issues with her, done the best you can to look at things from her POV? Do you feel she has done the same for you (i.e. try to understand your POV)?
- Do you feel that having an active sex life (obviously by how you define active) is important to you to help maintain the emotional bond you have with your W?
- Overall, you are happy with your marriage, but don't like the fact that an important component (physical) is low on the list (i.e. it is viewed more as a chore)? You are not looking to leave her over this, just an area where you would like to see improvement and one you think would lead to a more fulfilling marriage?
That is all I got