Re: Thoughts on this
Update #1 - no sex last night, but I didn't have to avoid or reject. Went to bed at the same time after being out most of the night (but not too late). She wanted to snuggle, so we did for a while. I imagine she was expecting it would turn into something, but I kept my hands to myself.
I actually enjoyed the cuddling, knowing that it wasn't going to turn into something. We talked about the evening, and plans for today. Eventually I rolled over and slept like a baby.
I have no doubt she went to bed wondering why I didn't make a move for sex, but I don't think she was too upset about it, either.
So there you go - I stuck to my guns and didn't have to make an issue out of it.
Keep in mind, folks, I'm not doing this to prove a point to her, so much as I'm just not happy with things the way they are at the moment. Sex on her schedule doesn't make me feel good. Talking to her about it has accomplished nothing. This isn't a protest or a 'work-to-rule' so much as it is me just not wanting to feel empty. If she had been aggressive last night, I wouldn't have stopped her, or pushed her off or anything - I don't want to totally reject her, as that would be very counter productive.
But Hope has the right idea in regards to her husband and my similar issue - I'm not going to chase this any longer. We happened to go to bed at the same time last night, I didn't go to bed because she was going to bed, therefore that was my chance, or my 'opening'. As Hope said, her sex life is essentially the same as mine, but instead of bedtime, once a week, it's morning, once a week. If she's awake before her hubby, she'll wait for him to wake up and then do what he normally does, and she gets laid. If he wakes before her, she'll be woken up by him for sex.
So, like her, we're both working around our spouses schedule, on the one day a week, and that one time, where we know it's going to happen if we just follow their rules. Yeah, we know we can get laid at that one time, but we have no control over it.
For me, it's a shift in mindset. I had been conditioned (like Pavlov's dog) to get my sex fix at that day and time. So yes, I was getting laid, but I had no control over any of it.
"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."