Question for men - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:19 AM Thread Starter
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Question for men

I posted recently about finding out my partner looked at porn. I didn't notice one search until a few days ago, I overlooked it since it was a woman's name. The last time he did this was 5 months ago and I recall there was a woman's name that time to. The names are Claudia Marie and Laura Orsolya. When I looked them up I was a little shocked since they are bigger women. I am complete opposite. I'm 5'5" 120 lbs I am in shape and have nice curves and decent muscle tone, no six pack but my stomach is flat. I have a full size b cup so I'm not flat but not big busted either. I'm what you call exotic looking as far as facial features think of Selma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. When you look at porn that's complete opposite of who you are with why is that? Also the Claudia Marie looks similar to his ex that he left, so does he still have desire for her? I'm a little confused. The other searches showed women that had shapes similar to mine so it wasn't that shocking ad opposed to these 2 names
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post #2 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:23 AM
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Re: Question for men

For me its more the acts that they do not necessarily how they look ....don't get me wrong they have to be appealing but I'm not really interested in fake boobs or ultra thin.
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post #3 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:26 AM Thread Starter
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For me its more the acts that they do not necessarily how they look ....don't get me wrong they have to be appealing but I'm not really interested in fake boobs or ultra thin.
He did say it was the acts and when I asked about this particular porn star he said he just remembered her name and figured if he typed her name in maybe I wouldn't figure it out and maybe more porn besides just her would come up
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post #4 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:36 AM
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Re: Question for men

are there certain acts that you won't do?
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post #5 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:39 AM Thread Starter
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are there certain acts that you won't do?
No and I have talked to him to see if we need to experiment and he doesn't want to. He likes what we do and doesn't have any fantasies. We have sex every other day or on the rare occasion every 3 days
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post #6 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:44 AM
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Re: Question for men

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No and I have talked to him to see if we need to experiment and he doesn't want to. He likes what we do and doesn't have any fantasies. We have sex every other day or on the rare occasion every 3 days
I don't get it. If I had a wife who enjoyed sex and was as hot as you describe yourself with a good attitude about sex I would never look at porn.
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post #7 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:48 AM
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Re: Question for men

Those two stars have enormously large breasts, and I expect that was why he picked them. That doesn't mean that he *prefers* large breasts - a lot of people look for porn for novelty.

I look at porn for the sex acts, almost never for the stars. I have occasionally searched for porn of types that I don't normally watch just out of curiosity - but that I think is the action of someone who watches frequently and is looking for novelty.

Its also possible that they were a couple of names he saw somewhere and that he wasn't specifically looking for big breasted women.

I am concerned about what my wife would think about my porn habit - but I've never thought about what she would think about the porn stars themselves, I've never though of comparing them to my wife at all. My porn use is all about vicariously enjoying sex acts that I can never do in real life.

Its hard to know, and I think in the end unimportant. He watched some porn - maybe for the novelty of different looking women, maybe for the specific sex acts. He is embarrassed about it and may still not feel comfortable telling you what he watched and why. Even if I told my wife I watched porn, there are some things I watch that I don't think I could admit to.

Since watching for sex acts seems the most common motivation, maybe see it that fits. If you have figured out what acts he has been watching, are they something you are willing to do for him? (you don't have to, but if you are OK with it it would be a good experiment to see how he reacts).
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post #8 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:50 AM
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Re: Question for men

I worked with a fellow whose wife was similar in shape to yourself, however, he was an admitted "chubby chaser", and would seek out affairs with, and this is the term he used, BBW-Big Beautiful Women.

It turns out that he basically married for appearance sake, but his true passion was for very large women.
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post #9 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:51 AM
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Re: Question for men

Not a man but ...

I too sometimes search for porn by the name of male or female porn stars. Each porn star has their own style and I can usually count on the video of these stars to illustrate the type of porn acts I'm most interested in. So I wanna see gang bangs - I look for a specific star, deepthroats - that's the specialty of another star.

Typically these men are the complete opposite of my partner but I'm not searching for them for that reason, I'm searching because I like their sex style. Similarly, the women look drastically different from me or women I would be interested in but there's something about the way they take the d that turns me on.

In much the same way my partner has this one female porn star that he always starts his search with when we view porn together. Her butt is massive and her boobies are bigger than mine, with that little underboob sag that he finds really sexy. The only thing I have in common with her is skin color really. I know this is his fantasy; he likes to see the butt bouncing and boobs flapping when he watches porn. That is all.

Last edited by Keke24; 04-07-2017 at 11:56 AM.
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post #10 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:53 AM Thread Starter
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No and I have talked to him to see if we need to experiment and he doesn't want to. He likes what we do and doesn't have any fantasies. We have sex every other day or on the rare occasion every 3 days
I don't get it. If I had a wife who enjoyed sex and was as hot as you describe yourself with a good attitude about sex I would never look at porn.
That was why I was hurt, however it's only happened 3 times in one year and each time was when we weren't able to have sex so he said he used it as a masturbation aid. He is the type that isn't open with his sexuality and always afraid he is gping to get turned down if he asks, it stems from his bad marriage. Now that we talked he knows he can tell me he is horny and I will be ready and willing. He said he won't need porn anymore now that he has open communication with me
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post #11 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:54 AM
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Re: Question for men

Everyone is different. Some it may be about the acts, some the looks, some a combination of both. I wouldn't watch a porn if an actress didn't have most of the physical attributes that I find attractive. For example, I don't find tattoos attractive, so the moment I would see one on an actress I would pass on the video.
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post #12 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:54 AM
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Re: Question for men

(Sorry not a guy). Some people look at porn because they have very specific things they are into. But I suspect a majority of people who view porn are searching for variety. Watching the same type of thing over and over can get very tedious.

Those women are rather...extraordinary. I think it is novelty and curiosity as Uhtred says. Explored one minute gone the next.

If you don't mind me asking...how old are you both?
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post #13 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
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Those two stars have enormously large breasts, and I expect that was why he picked them. That doesn't mean that he *prefers* large breasts - a lot of people look for porn for novelty.

I look at porn for the sex acts, almost never for the stars. I have occasionally searched for porn of types that I don't normally watch just out of curiosity - but that I think is the action of someone who watches frequently and is looking for novelty.

Its also possible that they were a couple of names he saw somewhere and that he wasn't specifically looking for big breasted women.

I am concerned about what my wife would think about my porn habit - but I've never thought about what she would think about the porn stars themselves, I've never though of comparing them to my wife at all. My porn use is all about vicariously enjoying sex acts that I can never do in real life.

Its hard to know, and I think in the end unimportant. He watched some porn - maybe for the novelty of different looking women, maybe for the specific sex acts. He is embarrassed about it and may still not feel comfortable telling you what he watched and why. Even if I told my wife I watched porn, there are some things I watch that I don't think I could admit to.

Since watching for sex acts seems the most common motivation, maybe see it that fits. If you have figured out what acts he has been watching, are they something you are willing to do for him? (you don't have to, but if you are OK with it it would be a good experiment to see how he reacts).
We have talked and he is happy with our sex life and he knows I am open to trying more if he desires. I do know that he looked at some BJ porn so I will make sure to step it up in that department
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post #14 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:57 AM Thread Starter
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[QUOTE=Taxman;17669809]I worked with a fellow whose wife was similar in shape to yourself, however, he was an admitted "chubby chaser", and would seek out affairs with, and this is the term he used, BBW-Big Beautiful Women.

It turns out that he basically married for appearance sake, but his true passion was for very large women.[/QUOTE ]

That's not very encouraging lol however we have a very strong connection and are very similar. We are truly soulmates
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post #15 of 51 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 11:59 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
(Sorry not a guy). Some people look at porn because they have very specific things they are into. But I suspect a majority of people who view porn are searching for variety. Watching the same type of thing over and over can get very tedious.

Those women are rather...extraordinary. I think it is novelty and curiosity as Uhtred says. Explored one minute gone the next.

If you don't mind me asking...how old are you both?
He is 50 and I am 40
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