No more fun - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #31 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 02:09 PM
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Re: No more fun

Yes, extended cycle birth control does exist. It is fairly new, and only a few brands of birth control are approved for it.

If someone wants to pursue it they should use the approved products. And they should have regular checkups with their gynecologist who is aware of what they are doing while they are using the prescribed products.

The refusal to have regular checkups to go along with using the correct prescription is just unfathomable.

Please, if women wish to pursue this, please do not try to do this without working with their doctor.
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post #32 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 03:19 PM
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Re: No more fun

So.......background......

You suddenly get herpes from your wife.

She suddenly stops having sex with you, and has no interest in sex. Lol

You have had a vasectomy and your wife stays on birth control to stop her period.

Here's the thing: it's rare that a woman that's banging her new husband constantly, very suddenly doesn't want sex or affection from him of any kind.

STD, no sex, no desire for you at all--- suddenly?

What do you think I'm thinking is the answer, OP?
And you think "there's no way should could or would do that". Am I right?
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post #33 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 03:21 PM
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Re: No more fun

Btw, if your wife is such an incredible dullard that she didn't know she could give you herpes----- Please, divorce her for this alone. Would you want a family with a woman this incredibly unintelligent?
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post #34 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 04:00 PM
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Re: No more fun

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Originally Posted by DomF View Post
I tried talking to her about getting off birthcontrol since their is no reason to be on it. I had a vasectomy but she is admit she doesn't want a period. I love her to death but she does some of the dumbest things. She went to the doctor 2 years before she met me the doctor told her she had herpes gave her antiviral drugs, so my lovely wife thought once the outbreak went away she was cured. Skip ahead a few years I notice I'm having a outbreak and I'm freaking out cause I've never had a STD I'm my life. She laughs and tells me oh I've had herpes before just take something and it will go away. I sat her down and explained it never goes away and she told me she never had a STD..... She yelled at me that I was wrong herpes goes away, this resulted in a trip to her doctor that explained to her again this will never go away and she can give it to other people. So it broke a lot of trust for me but to her it was nothing.
Actually, I think that you really do need to keep using birth control. You need to use a condom, to protect yourself from any other surprises that she might give you. Let me say that again, you need to practice safe sex with your wife.

This woman is clueless about safe sex. Yes, the herpes was before the two of you were married, but still as Evenrude58 put it, something else might be going on.

I would sit yourself down with your doctor and get a full STD/STI set of tests as a benchmark of what you've got. Then I would learn how to manage what you have and how to no matter what minimize the chance of anything else showing up. And that includes you performing safe oral sex on her as while oral sex is relatively safe for some forms of STI's, it is not safe for others.

Last edited by Young at Heart; 04-10-2017 at 04:08 PM.
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post #35 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 05:01 PM
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Re: No more fun

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For some of us women, even with birth control, menstrual periods are a discomfort that one would rather avoid. Even with birth control, my experience is still painful, I still get irritable, still feel dirty and unsexy in general. Since periods are not necessary when one is on birth control (this from my doc), it would make sense that a woman who feels very negatively about her period, would try to avoid it.
Keke,

I am really sorry that menstruation is so painful and uncomfortable for you.

But I'm gonna stick with creation/evolution, whatever you believe in, and the biological fact that women have been menstruating monthly for thousands and thousands of years.

It can't possibly be good for us to artificially prevent it, while we are in our natural childbearing time of life.

And I think that someone such as yourself is entitled to all the medical support to alleviate pain as possible.

And sure, our reproductive organs can be unhealthy. Taking hormones can help some women, some of the time.

But, again, suppression of the menstrual cycle completely??? There's something wrong with that.
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post #36 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 05:04 PM
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Re: No more fun

Like I said in your other two threads, your wife needs a SERIOUS intervention. And you need to grow a set.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.


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post #37 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 05:19 PM
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Re: No more fun

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Originally Posted by notmyrealname4 View Post
Keke,

I am really sorry that menstruation is so painful and uncomfortable for you.

But I'm gonna stick with creation/evolution, whatever you believe in, and the biological fact that women have been menstruating monthly for thousands and thousands of years.

It can't possibly be good for us to artificially prevent it, while we are in our natural childbearing time of life.

And I think that someone such as yourself is entitled to all the medical support to alleviate pain as possible.

And sure, our reproductive organs can be unhealthy. Taking hormones can help some women, some of the time.

But, again, suppression of the menstrual cycle completely??? There's something wrong with that.
Oh I certainly understand the argument that this may not be natural. That argument is what prevented me from trying birth control with my partner and made me adamant about sticking to condoms for way too long.

Just providing some insight into why some women may prefer that option. It goes beyond just the pain. I may not agree with it but if science can prove that periods aren't necessary and there are no significant side effects from suppression then I can't fault any woman who decides to do it. I see it no different from the issue of tonsils or organs that can be safely removed.
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post #38 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:38 AM
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Re: No more fun

Why are you staying with her? No kids. She doesn't care that you were going to sleep on the couch (So no concern for you or your feelings). She tells you what you do wrong, never what you do right. She gave you herpes. SO WHY?

Get out NOW! Go find someone who cares about you. You deserve better. Don't wake up 10...20 years from now miserable.
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post #39 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 01:48 PM
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Re: No more fun

Sounds like she wanted a wedding and not necessarily a husband. She got what she wanted so screw you. Don't feel bad it happens to the best of us. She probably has her dress bagged up and hanging in the closet. If only she could do the same with you.

Last edited by Thound; 04-17-2017 at 02:23 PM.
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post #40 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 03:50 PM
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Re: No more fun

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Originally Posted by DomF View Post
I tried talking to her about getting off birthcontrol since their is no reason to be on it. I had a vasectomy but she is admit she doesn't want a period. I love her to death but she does some of the dumbest things. She went to the doctor 2 years before she met me the doctor told her she had herpes gave her antiviral drugs, so my lovely wife thought once the outbreak went away she was cured. Skip ahead a few years I notice I'm having a outbreak and I'm freaking out cause I've never had a STD I'm my life. She laughs and tells me oh I've had herpes before just take something and it will go away. I sat her down and explained it never goes away and she told me she never had a STD..... She yelled at me that I was wrong herpes goes away, this resulted in a trip to her doctor that explained to her again this will never go away and she can give it to other people. So it broke a lot of trust for me but to her it was nothing.
Wait...WHAT!?!

She gave you the herps? Oh what a lovely gift!! Silver lining - at least it wasn't HIV!

Dude, you have WAAAAAAAAY bigger issues than lack of sex!

We protect ourselves from lies,
By fanatically holding to our own truths.
But when our truths turn to fanaticism,
Our truths become the Lie.
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post #41 of 41 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 07:35 PM
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Re: No more fun

Quote:
Originally Posted by notmyrealname4 View Post
But I'm gonna stick with creation/evolution, whatever you believe in, and the biological fact that women have been menstruating monthly for thousands and thousands of years.

It can't possibly be good for us to artificially prevent it, while we are in our natural childbearing time of life.

And I think that someone such as yourself is entitled to all the medical support to alleviate pain as possible.

And sure, our reproductive organs can be unhealthy. Taking hormones can help some women, some of the time.

But, again, suppression of the menstrual cycle completely??? There's something wrong with that.
In the days of yore before birth control, women's periods were quite rare, a few times every few years. For most of their fertile years, women were either pregnant or breastfeeding. I read a while ago that women having periods thirteen times a year for a couple of decades before having children in their thirties now is the bigger health risk than suppressing menstruation. The same source said that the men who invented the Pill arbitrarily chose for there to be a week off it to cause a period because they decided that women would be too freaked out by not having their normal periods to accept the Pill otherwise and they were afraid it would flop. I'll see if I can find it again.

But back on topic, this woman sounds extremely medically ignorant, and prefers denial than to educate herself. Unfortunately, that doesn't lend itself well to her wanting to see a doctor to address any medical problem that may have diminished her sex drive, or attend counselling with a sex therapist to get them back on track.
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