I was reading an article on "super orgasms" for women and it was an interesting read. The truth about the super orgasm - and what happened when I tried to have one
But the thing that jumped out at me was the following
The academics also suggested that in order to have these magical orgasms women needed to “turn their brain off, to be less engaged and to let go.” Though, no news on any research from the University on how we’re supposed to manage that…
The above quote sort of confirms my own personal experience with my wife.
One of the things that my wife has told me is that she really can't have anything on her mind otherwise she will not have an orgasm. If she is worried about a work project, if she has something she needs to do in the morning that she has to remember, if she is stressed about anything or needs to remember to buy eggs at the grocery store, it will kill her ability to have an orgasm. She now keeps a pen and pad of paper next to the bed on the night stand, so anything that she has to remember, can be written down and then forgotten.
Our pre-coital routine is for her to snuggle on my chest, and have me lovingly and gently (as if trying to relax her to the point of sleep) massage her back, head, neck and shoulders. Only when she is totally relaxed does the foreplay start. She says it helps her focus on us and sex. She also tells me not to talk or say anything while she is trying to clear her mind.
Nothing like 5 minutes of massaging her back only to have her stop; get up; and write something down than want to start all over again.
The only thing worse is when she is so tired that she falls asleep and starts snoring on my chest.
Usually the next morning she will apologize and say lets have sex right after dinner before she gets too tired.
Some nights if my wife just can't clear her mind, she will roll off me, get on her back, pull me over toward and start serious foreplay. It is pretty clear on those nights that she just wants to give me the gift of her body and doesn't think she will have an orgasm and just wants to pleasure me.
Alternately, if she can clear her mind, then it is one of those nights she wants lots of foreplay and wants as many orgasms as she can get. When she has had her fill of orgasms, it is like she has to immediately have me inside her and wants to jump my bones and hold me tightly against/inside her.
So my questions are (obviously wanting to encourage the latter alternative):
(1) Do some, a lot, most women need to turn their brain off or clear their mind of all thoughts other than the immediate moment and the immediate physical/emotional connection they feel with their spouse?
(2) If so, what technique do you ladies use to clear you mind of stress or all thoughts?
(3) Is there something that a husband can do to help you "turn your brain off" or help you put yourself in a position to be orgasmic, multi-orgasmic, or super orgasmic?