How to encourage sex appeal? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 06:21 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

I haven't been back with ex for years =/ Besides she's nothing more to me than a co-parent.

I'm doing a career change and a month into uni I've developed so many temporary crushes it's annoying. Not going to cheat on my girlfriend, nor break up, but I need her help in keeping my thoughts on her.
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post #17 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 06:27 PM
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

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I haven't been back with ex for years =/ Besides she's nothing more to me than a co-parent.



I'm doing a career change and a month into uni I've developed so many temporary crushes it's annoying. Not going to cheat on my girlfriend, nor break up, but I need her help in keeping my thoughts on her.


That right there is your issue.
Blaming her for how you feel, what you think.
There's a name for that. Arrogance is another trait. But regardless, I hope she's smart enough not to fall for it.
If you truly feel you aren't getting what you are entitled to, well that probably sucks and it probably feels bad. I hope you figure that out.


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post #18 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 07:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

Why is everyone so hostile?

Only looking for solutions Why waste time with judgements?
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post #19 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 07:08 PM
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

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Why is everyone so hostile?

Only looking for solutions Why waste time with judgements?


A judgment would be deciding you should do something other than what you did. I have no issues with who you are, you do what you know, that is all. I'm sure it's frustrating to want her to do something to alleviate what you are feeling.
I feel for you. Solutions? Simple.

If you are capable of deciding she doesn't have sex appeal, then you are also capable of deciding she DOES.



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post #20 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 07:26 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

How does one just decide that?
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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 07:30 PM
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

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How does one just decide that?


The same way you decided she didn't. Capable but not willing? That happens


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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 07:38 PM
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

It's not a black white yes no action. Fat thin long hair short hair old young
So it's none of your business
You don't get to decide if it's yes or no
You get to PREFER one way or another.
So wrap your head around what you prefer.
And you will have more success


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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 07:42 PM
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

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I haven't been back with ex for years =/ Besides she's nothing more to me than a co-parent.

I'm doing a career change and a month into uni I've developed so many temporary crushes it's annoying. Not going to cheat on my girlfriend, nor break up, but I need her help in keeping my thoughts on her.
Maybe you're just not ready for a committed relationship? I think at the gf/bf stage, we are usually all over each other. If you're developing crushes on others, I'd say she's either not the one for you or you're not ready. Either way, I think you might want to consider cutting bait. She deserves to be with someone who is really into her.
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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 07:48 PM
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

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Why is everyone so hostile?

Only looking for solutions Why waste time with judgements?
Lol, yes this thread seems hostile; sorry about that. Okay for starters encouraging sex appeal and talking about high heals is kind superficial.

I mean if your girl isn't sexy in your t shirt Saturday morning then forget about the high heals.

I'm as deep as a puddle. Holland.
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 08:25 PM
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Try looking at her through an appreciative lens. Everyone has something about them that's hot. Did she have that sex appeal that you're looking for at one time..like, at the beginning, when you met? She had to if you added the 'benefits' part. We don't screw ones we aren't attracted to.

Anyway, what changed? Was it her or you?

It sounds like the classic 'familiarity breeds contempt' issue. I mean, if you're being tempted elsewhere already, it may not be her..maybe look at yourself?
Are you, somewhere inside, uneasy about settling down a bit..do you feel there is always something better out there? Do you feel like you deserve the BEST!?
Because listen, there is always better.
No matter whom you are with, someone else will ALWAYS be hotter, sexier, more funny, smarter, more talented, sweeter, kinder, etc..than her. And that goes for you too.
I'm sure she is exposed to plenty of men in her daily life. She easily could come across some that may impress her in some way, more than you do, (no offense!) or give her a little buzz of arousal for whatever reason.
Should that be enough for her to question YOUR sex-appeal?

At what point do you decide that what you have is pretty damn good and start feeling truly grateful? What you look for, you'll find. Look for her sex-appeal..she has it. Maybe not in the cookie-cutter way that you expect it to show up, but women have it, for sure: )

So, if you're questioning things, especially as innate as sex-appeal, you might not be the right guy for her. She can't fake that for you. You have to just see it and feel it.
Guaranteed, there are guys out there that see/know her and think "Damn, if only..."

The grass in almost never greener once you get to the other side.
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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 08:28 PM
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Re: How to encourage sex appeal?

These people are treating you with kid gloves.

The only way you are going to see sex appeal that keeps you happy is in a mirror.
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