For almost a year now I've been quite patient with my girlfriend. We were first together as friends and then friends with benefits before we got more serious. She's always been beautiful and attractive but... there's almost been something missing. Sex appeal.
She has her "good girl" charm sure but for some reason I'm losing interest in it, I find myself being attracted elsewhere
, to women in high heels and to women who know how to carry themselves well, even if they aren't even as pretty or hot as my girlfriend. In the brief moments that my girlfriend wears heels or gives me that stunning look with her eyes or subconsciously does a sexy pose that seems so rare... but it just reminds me of her potential. I find myself being dissatisfied with her, and even guilty
for feeling this way. I don't know what to say or even how to encourage her to "be more sexy", I never had this problem before.....
What to do?
You have gotten lots of good suggestions for stepping up your game and for doing things to make her feel sexy.
I have a few suggestions for you. First, you have absolutely no right to try to change her. Only she can change herself and then only if she wants to. If your dislike of her is so much and she doesn't change then leave her and move on. My feeling is that you don't want that. You might be suffering a little from the Madonna/Wh#re complex. You might feel she is "good girl marriage material" but want the wild child sexual tiger in bed. You should really look at yourself and not her. Do you need her to dress sexy so that you will have "eye candy" on your arm when you go out in public? Do you need her to dress sexy so that she puts you in a state of arousal by your just looking at her? Why do you want her to be more "sexy?" Is it really something about you? What is it that you are looking for and why? You need to figure yourself out first before your really talk to her about this.
One of the things that my wife has told me when I asked her to dress extra sexy, is that I didn't marry a sl*t, so don't expect her to dress like one. What is it the caused this woman to move from the friend zone into the girlfriend/serious-lover zone?
Now, once you have figured out yourself, then you can talk to her. I would suggest that you ask her if the two of you can do some roll playing. Maybe start just at home in the privacy of your own home. Ask her about her fantasies. Assuming you just want her to dress sexy in private and not desire admiration for having eye candy on your arm. Unfortunately, a lot of guys like trophy wives/girlfriends to increase their sense of self-worth.
Then maybe she might want you to be her pirate and she you wench and servant girl or the royal lady you have captured. Her costume might be as naughty as you want and you as bad-boy and she wants. Maybe she can pretend to be your belly dancer or stripper or something else. Remember it is all up to her and her boundaries. That will get you the sexy visual image you seem to want (at least you say you want at home), but allow her to be the "good girl" she wants in public. Maybe she will take it outside the home, at a costume party or maybe she would be willing in a roll playing situation to play the part of the tramp you pick up in a bar. It is really up to her and her boundaries.
My personal suspicion is that this is much more about you than her.
Another suggestion is that you save up and splurge if you really want this. Buy her a day at a spa for a full treatment, massage, makeup, pedicure and hair styling, then take her out on the town. Alternately, tell her you would like to buy her some lingerie and clothes of her choosing that make her feel sexy and cherished for a special date night.