what do I do? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 08:16 PM
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Re: what do I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holdingontoit View Post
No. No. No. Do not be me. Do not resign yourself to "if she wants me. she knows where to find me". She wants you, but she wants you to chase her. She wants you , but she is exhausted. she wants you, buyt she is touched out at the end of a day where 3 kids are grabbing at her.

As @jld would say, it is your job to inspire her.

If you are not going to undertake the mission of demanding she cater to you and you inspire her to do so, file for divorce now. Do not be like me and wait until you are beaten down and broken. Make your escape now.

This is a bit saddening for me as I can see this path before me if I can't get things to move.

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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 08:42 PM
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Re: what do I do?

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Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
The reason most women cheat is that they feel they are taken for granted. Their husbands stop making them feel desirable, sexy and attractive. Their husbands no longer work for it. I have been aware of this for a very long time. You have to continue your courtship behavior during your marriage. Everyday I remind my wife how hot she is and how horny she makes me. I buy her flowers, take her out for an evening, always chasing her around the room until she giggles like girl. I tell her that just her smell makes me hard. I also act a little jealous to remind her that other guys think she is hot too and it bothers me, even when it does not.

Every cheating married women I knew, said that their husband takes them for granted and does not make them feel like they did when they were dating. My wife is having the most intense orgasms of her life at the age of 64 while none of her girlfriends even have sex anymore. This may sound strange, but sometimes briefly opening your marriage a little can rekindle your marriage, sex life and feelings for each other. It certainly worked for us over our 44 years of marriage. The article below explains why more and more couples are turning to some form of sexually open relationship to save their marriages or simple to improve them. Just the exploration process alone can help your marriage if you decide that monogamy is still what you want. It initiates communication and gets you to talk about core issues. It is not for everyone because you need to be able to mentally handle it and some get jealous if their spouse even looks at another person. Not for them.

Read this if interested. It is not just about non monogamy. Even just discussing it and sticking with monogamy can benefit your marriage. I know it is difficult to wrap your head around it but that is due to conditioning and not genetics or nature.

Rethinking monogamy today - CNN.com


Okay I will admit that I see nothing wrong with the concept, if consenting. Actually, kudos to those who recognize this need and are responsible about it. And it's nice to see that your post is accepted without a lot of written judgment.


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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 09:17 PM
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Re: what do I do?

I'm going to second the 5 love languages suggestion. You can do a million things for her but are those things making her feel loved? It doesn't sound like it. I commend you for making an effort as many here will tell you to do a 180. I think you need to figure out what makes her tick. What makes her feel loved and she needs to do the same for you. Don't throw 16 years in the trash. Keep at it.


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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 11:05 PM
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Re: what do I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
The reason most women cheat is that they feel they are taken for granted. Their husbands stop making them feel desirable, sexy and attractive. Their husbands no longer work for it. I have been aware of this for a very long time. You have to continue your courtship behavior during your marriage. Everyday I remind my wife how hot she is and how horny she makes me. I buy her flowers, take her out for an evening, always chasing her around the room until she giggles like girl. I tell her that just her smell makes me hard. I also act a little jealous to remind her that other guys think she is hot too and it bothers me, even when it does not.

Every cheating married women I knew, said that their husband takes them for granted and does not make them feel like they did when they were dating. My wife is having the most intense orgasms of her life at the age of 64 while none of her girlfriends even have sex anymore. This may sound strange, but sometimes briefly opening your marriage a little can rekindle your marriage, sex life and feelings for each other. It certainly worked for us over our 44 years of marriage. The article below explains why more and more couples are turning to some form of sexually open relationship to save their marriages or simple to improve them. Just the exploration process alone can help your marriage if you decide that monogamy is still what you want. It initiates communication and gets you to talk about core issues. It is not for everyone because you need to be able to mentally handle it and some get jealous if their spouse even looks at another person. Not for them.

Read this if interested. It is not just about non monogamy. Even just discussing it and sticking with monogamy can benefit your marriage. I know it is difficult to wrap your head around it but that is due to conditioning and not genetics or nature.

Rethinking monogamy today - CNN.com
One thing, people cheat because they have poor character and handle problems poorly. Women LEAVE at least emotionally because they feel they are being taken for granted. Cheating though is caused by poor character.
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