Originally Posted by FeelingBetrayed View Post
Thank you for your reply. It bothers me because previously this was not an issue. It became an issue after our son was born. We are in our 30's. I fear that I'm the problem....that he's not attracted to me or finds me less desirable.
From the above, it sounds to me that you do feel it is an issue even if he doesn't. I appears that your concerns are about your desirability as a lover and sex partner. You place the point of time in change at the birth of your son. You have also struggled with you H having what you believe to be an EA.
If you were my sister, I would advise you to go talk to an individual counselor first, so you can sort out "your issues" in your marriage. You are obviously a loving wife who wants to please her husband and feel he desires her. Your confidence is shaken at the moment and you are obsessing about his finishing.
Since your H is in his 30's (unless very overweight and out of shape, or has medical reasons) I would be surprised if this is a serious medical problem.
Once you have gotten you mind around why this is important to you and you have made some IC progress, then I would suggest that you and your H go to a marriage counselor together. In you mind it is connected to when you son was born and it that is indeed the cause for his changed behavior he may have a madonna/wh#re complex thing going on, where you as the mother of his child, now have to be treated than the woman he lusted after to make that child. Alternately, it would be good for your marriage to have some counseling to clean up any loose ends regarding his EA. Rug-sweeping is not a good idea, it is an avoidance technique.
I really wish you the best, but I will again say that based on your initial post and this post, this sounds to me like it is more your issue than his and that as long as he is being satisfied, you shouldn't make too much out of it.
Good luck to you.