Forgive me, I know many people have posted about sexless spouses before. Many posts about it. I had to vent.
Despite being fairly ok normally, I am grumpy today. O forget grumpy, I am pi$$ed off. Why? Because I got up this morning after having a good dream. That may sound stupid but that is the way it is.
The dream was not perverted but my spouse might think it was. I dreamed that it was years ago. My spouse and I were at a beach. We sneaked to a hidden area in the dunes and we did things that married people do. Of course this never happened in real life.
Then I woke up to reality. I Walked pass the room where my spouse sleeps and got breakfast for my son. At the same time realizing how many months it has been....AGAIN. How it has been for the past 17 years. Wondering when life is going to be fun.
Oh, here is my spouse now, asking me a question. I snapped back an answer. Spouse asked me why are you angry? Answer was, Why am I always angry it is the same old. You know why. Spouse: I know that but why this morning? Me: Why not?
We have been through this so many times before. Spouse already knows why I am in a bad mood. Talked and talked about it before. Threatened the big D if things do not change before. Told spouse how I hate myself walking threw the mall and not being able to stop looking at everything that walks my way. Questioning myself if I am some sort of freak. Previous sessions in MC.
I also in the past sent my spouse a long email explaining in more detail how this had affected me and our relationship. In that email I sent this link telling her to read as many of the comments as possible at the bottom of the page. A lot of them could have been from both me and my spouse. Living Without Sex
When ever I let my anger go my spouse tries to make me happy, sometimes. Why do I have to get angry? Tries to make me happy in every way except one.
Spouse had told me in the past that "I get it, I know" But is that the truth?
For you people that have been there do you think your spouse really knows or still no matter what remains clueless?