Pegging.
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Pegging.

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 01-07-2012, 10:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Pegging.

So, I've been reading up on pegging. Found it pretty interesting. For those of you that are too lazy to use wikipedia, pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on dildo and anally penetrates a man. Yep.

My wife and I tried it once a few years ago. She loved it. I did not. Not enough preparation. As I've said, she's quite sexually shy. It seems like it'll be a one time thing. But I would like to try it again now that we have more experience.

I'm curious though, for the guys and gals that are into pegging, what's the appeal? There definitely seems to be more going on than some prostate stimulation.

In my own experience, my wife enjoyed being the "aggressor" , contrasting with her usually submissive behaviour, and I enjoyed being submissive. Any sexually submissive wives want to comment on that one?

I've also become aware of my deeply closeted bisexual leanings. Maybe that's why I find the whole substitute penis thing attractive. Funny thing though: If you go online and read up on pegging, 99% of the guys there will say "There is absolutely nothing gay about liking pegging. I am 100% heterosexual."

I've also read that some couples enjoy gender play, though I can't relate to that.

Also, any advice on how to not make pegging agonisingly painful? "Funny" personal anal anecdotes?
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Old 01-07-2012, 10:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pegging.

Well, to cut down on pain, Id suggest not starting out with the biggest dildo you can find. In fact, stay away from the strap-on too, as she will be able to control a dildo with her hand better than her crotch.

There is nothing gay about being pegged, and its only the homophobes who keep this myth alive. I have read one study that shows the anus has more pleasurable nerve endings than the entire length of the penis. (I have read other studies disproving this one too... dont know what to believe). I guess what counts is that many women enjoy having the outside of their anus stimulated, and men would enjoy this for the exact same reason. Its only gay if your being pegged by another man. During penetration the p-spot comes into play, and according to a couple people I know who have tried this, receiving a p-spot massage and oral sex is the greatest orgasm a man can have. Experiment!!! Its healthy.


In regards to your possibly bisexuality: Dont label yourself. Its suggested that 15% of the population is hetero, 15% homo, and the rest is bisexual to varying degree's.

I do find a certain fascination with being submissive in this way, and my wife and I have tried it once, but it probably went worse than your experiment.
I liken my interest in said activity to the fact that I was addicted to pornography for a few years, and found I was eventually always trying to hunt down a new taboo.

If it feels good, you and your partner are willing to give it a shot, and your not breaking the law, then have a go!
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Old 01-07-2012, 10:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pegging.

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There is nothing gay about being pegged, and its only the homophobes who keep this myth alive. I have read one study that shows the anus has more pleasurable nerve endings than the entire length of the penis. (I have read other studies disproving this one too... dont know what to believe). I guess what counts is that many women enjoy having the outside of their anus stimulated, and men would enjoy this for the exact same reason. Its only gay if your being pegged by another man. During penetration the p-spot comes into play, and according to a couple people I know who have tried this, receiving a p-spot massage and oral sex is the greatest orgasm a man can have. Experiment!!! Its healthy.


In regards to your possibly bisexuality: Dont label yourself. Its suggested that 15% of the population is hetero, 15% homo, and the rest is bisexual to varying degree's.
I don't think there is anything gay about being pegged. Sticking something up your ass, does not, a homosexual make.

I've always found vehement and overly-defensive denial at the possiblity that one is gay or bisexual a bit suspect.

Don't see anything wrong with labelling myself.

Anyway, thank you for the advice. Pegging can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
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Old 01-07-2012, 11:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pegging.

To each their own. If that makes you happy I say go for it. Just not my cup of tea.
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Old 01-08-2012, 09:09 AM   #5 (permalink)
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To each their own. If that makes you happy I say go for it. Just not my cup of tea.
If I had a nickle...
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Old 01-09-2012, 09:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Anyhoo, hope this helps. As for being bi, I think most people have a bit of kink to them that could be labeled as bi-sexual; most won't admit to this inclination though. Sexuality is a very complex aspect of one's personality. As long as you are not hurting your partner or breaking the law, enjoy every opportunity you have to explore each other's sexuality within the safety and comfort of your relationship. Be honest with yourself and your partner and communicate these things in a mutually respectful way. Doing so will draw you closer together and strengthen the intimacy you share.
I agree. I'm not really angsting over my sexuality though. But I was born into an ultra-conservative fundy Christian environment.

Thank you for the rest of your advice.

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Do I enjoy it or find it arousing? I don't mind doing it, but I don't find it terribly exciting or arousing for me. What I DO enjoy is knowing I can give him pleasure, and the little jealous side of me takes pride that I am the ONLY ONE who has ever gotten him off this way!
You're not the dominant type, huh?
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by daffodilly View Post
Guess not! I actually prefer to be "taken" or ravaged....probably because I am usually the initiator!
Makes sense.

Often among couples, it's the one who has the most control over their life (or the bedroom) that wants to have the least control while they are having sex. Makes for a change of pace. That's one of the reasons why you see wealthy business men visiting mistresses in BDSM clubs.

*sits on psychology armchair*

I do think that there is an element of aggressiveness and dominance for the one doing the pegging. Just being the one doing the penetrating, you are entering the other person's personal space.
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:16 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I do think that there is an element of aggressiveness and dominance for the one doing the pegging.
She feels in control. It's a power trip
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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She feels in control.
As she should.

On another note, doing some "anal practice" to loosen and tighten things up feels incredibly awkward.
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Old 04-19-2013, 09:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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So, I got my first finger or two in the anus while my wife gives me head. I LOVED IT. I ask for it all the time. Now I'm very interested in getting pegged. My thinking is, I am going to love it...a lot! I mean, women love it, gays I'm sure love it...it's gotta feel good, right? I think it's be hot. My wife thinks it might be gay. I said, the dildo or vibrator does not have to resemble a ****. It could just be a smooth shafted toy. She eased up on the gay thoughts after that. How can I get her to really want to do this to me? I want to so bad. That anus play I got from her(which she went all out on and really took it to a porn star level) was amazing...every time. She loves the ass play that we've started. I've put it in her ass a few times now and she loves it. She's a total nympho. We've read 50 shades and we both loved it. This is getting long here...I just want her to order a strap on and give it to me. I'm not gay, but I support gays, never want an actual man, but I'm thinking I would realllly love to be pegged. How do I get her to "want" to do this? Please help.
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Old 04-20-2013, 11:02 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pegging.

You can't "get her to want" anything.

What you can do is explain that you've clearly enjoyed the anal/prostate stimulation she's provided, and would like to experience more. It may not be the best idea, though (from her perspective) to jump straight from her fingers to a strap-on. Start with small, stand-alone toys, and work your way up from there. Also, assure her that it's her you're enjoying all these things with...a woman. A finger...a toy...a strap-on...they're all different tools for the same purpose. And, when implemented by a member of the opposite sex, then by definition, it's not "gay."

And, at the end of the day, if she's still not comfortable with it...so be it. Move on, and the two of you can still have a fantastic experience using your existing repertoire.
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Old 04-21-2013, 01:49 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pegging.

Wow, that's a really great perspective to look at Grayson. Start slow, work up to it. I honestly don't know how I'll actually feel about it. I am the type of person that if I do something, I do it to it's fullest. My wife is very willing to try anything once. I just thought ya know, well heck, if that's the extreme, then let's try it out. We've both recently been open with each other about diving into the "kinky" side of our love making. We've both always had it. I gave the perception I wasn't into anything and she acted accordingly by giving up on the trying out new things. Me, I didn't want her to know I was into anything "risque"(spelling?) afraid of her thinking I was weird. We've just (well, me) had this break through and i'm open to any and all things, aside from another guy with her OR myself ya know. So, that's what I'll do, start off slow and see how it goes. Does anyone want details on that? I'll gladly give em if ya want.
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Old 04-21-2013, 05:25 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Ummmm....no.
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Old 04-21-2013, 08:02 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pegging.

My wife and I were just starting to get into pegging. We're both very open sexually, and accepting of each other's kinks (for the most part).

Some tips:
-You need to be relaxed. If you're nervous and not loosened up emotionally, you're not gonna loosen up physically.

-There has to be 100% trust between partners, and respect of your wishes. If you tell her to slow down/stop/whatever, she needs to do it instantly.

-I hunted for a REASONABLE sized strapon for quite some time. You need to find one that's flexible, made for anal play, and THIN to start out.

-Lube. Go to a sex store and get some advice. Use lots.

-Try different positions. I enjoyed doggy style but it was hard to service myself during. On my back wasn't as comfortable but my wife REALLY enjoyed it and it got the job done.
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Old 04-23-2013, 10:56 AM   #15 (permalink)
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To each their own. If that makes you happy I say go for it. Just not my cup of tea.


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