Re: Should I leave my wife if she fails to satisfy me orally?
I really appreciate all the responses here as it has helped me to evaluate myself better as well as my marriage. I don't want to appear as coming off as shallow because despite what some may think, I am not a shallow person. I did not marry my wife just because she gave me bjs. To be honest, they were mediocre but adequate when she tried. The Bjs were one of the perks that came with the package when I chose to marry her. Looking back, it was probably something that she did not like doing in the first place but I was too blind to see this before.
I never realized how important BJs were to me but when I look at the bigger picture, I don't see this ending well. First of all, I feel disrespected that she will even deny me bjs for an indefinite period. I'm sure everyone here has a favorite sex position/act that they enjoy. How would you like it if your spouse one day said that we are not doing X anymore because I don't like it? Like I mentioned before, I am only 28 and the idea of never getting a BJ for the rest of my life sickens me. I mentioned that I feel disrespected by this because if she feels that she has the power to take the BJs away from me, she will feel that she can remove anything out of my life that I love. What if she said that we can no longer have a tv in the house because she doesn't like it? Even though that sounds far fetched, I believe it falls under the same guidelines.
The next thing I don't understand is what my wife expects to happen if she doesn't give me anymore bjs in our relationship. Could any woman on this board tell me with a straight face that they can deny their husband bjs for eternity and not expect him to try to get them from someone else? Nobody is immune from temptation and these days, we are surrounded by sex and temptation everyday. The whole point of dedicating yourself to one person is to try to please them so they won't have to look for alternative places for pleasure. For example, if Hilary Clinton was already under the desk giving Bill bjs, there would have been no room for Monica to be there.
I have taken into consideration that my wife is pregnant and because of this, I will give her a pass for now. I have always satisfied her orally because I enjoy it as much as she does. Even if I didn't enjoy it, I would still do it for her because I know that she enjoys it and if I don't do it, someone else will. Just last night, I satisfied her orally and all I received in return was a HJ. I could have easily given myself a HJ so I don't believe that this was an equal exchange. I understand that people have suggest that I should wait until after she has the baby until I push the issue further. Can anyone honestly see this ending well? If she refuses to give Bjs when we had 1 child, why would she all of the sudden start giving them when we have 2 children and twice the chores? How long should I keep this on the backburner? After 2 or 3 years of not getting BJs, will I be totally immune to the desire of wanting them? I know I will look like a total @$$ if I drug my pregnant wife into sex counseling now so I guess my only option now is to wait and hope for the best...