Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Re: Husband won't initiate sex
Wow, sounds like he can be an ass when he wants to.
You need to start calmly standing up for yourself and calmly stating your preferences. If he gets nasty when you do this then disengage from the conversation and go do something you like to do.
You can use phrases such as:
"I will discuss this with you later, when you have calmed down" and walk away from him.
"I will not be yelled at/called names/disrespected" and walk away from him.
When you state your preferences about sex and he says "don't tell me what to do" calmly say " I am telling you what turns me on".
As for his "habits", I would let those go and focus on becoming re-connected sexually ... he may be more accommodating about his habits that bother you then.
If it was me I would tell him, outside of the bedroom, that your desire is for a mutually satisfying sexual relationship that includes kissing, foreplay, reciprocal oral (whatever you desire from him) and that until he is ready to participate in such a relationship sex is off the table. And then, I would 180 his ass.
Give back your heart to itself,
to the stranger who has loved you all your life,
whom you have ignored for another . . .