How long on average does sex last? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

View Poll Results: How long does intimacy lasts in you marriage including foreplay, sex & aftercare
Less than 15 minutes 7 11.11%
15 minutes 4 6.35%
30 minutes 18 28.57%
45 minutes 18 28.57%
1 hour 10 15.87%
1 hour & 30 minutes 3 4.76%
2 hours 1 1.59%
More than 2 hours 2 3.17%
Voters: 63. You may not vote on this poll

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post #16 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 05:18 PM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

I have no clue but it always amuses me that people actually know the answer to this question. We mainly have sex at bedtime so it is not relevant how long it takes, alarm is always set first anyway.

However I do know that the morning quickies are under 5 mins because he has from the time the alarm goes off till the time the snooze goes off to get a smile on his face.

A lazy weekend root, well again I have no idea of time because it is usually associated with an afternoon nap

So the answer for us is between 5 minutes and an hour I guess.

And we don't do "aftercare" unless that includes falling asleep in each others arms.
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post #17 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 05:44 PM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

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Originally Posted by Married but Happy View Post
Sex lasts a couple of years for many couples. After that, it's mostly begging and wishful thinking, and perhaps a fond memory, which is a kind of foreplay if you stretch the definition.
That is the answer I was looking for, well I was expecting "right up until the wedding cake is cut".
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post #18 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 09:34 PM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

So many questions along this line lately.

I do sometimes wonder if the people who claim to have little time know what's on TV.

Sex just sorta happens along the way while we cuddle, kiss, caress, fondle, massage, and do other assorted naughty things with each other throughout the evening. So how to time it? Our play certainly does not stop after I come. Mary might come at any moment, here or there, and she is always good for more, more.

Well, she should get a green light tomorrow, anyway. We shouldn't talk about what a bad girl she's been this last weekend.
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post #19 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 10:09 PM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

I said 30 minutes which seems to be the most popular time period. My wife reaches orgasm in under 3 minutes so it is I who prolongs sex. I love to perform oral on her but she has an orgasm so fast that I never get to enjoy it as much as I like. She gets too sensitive after her orgasm so we have to wait if she wants another one. I am the one who takes long to orgasm when I am allowed the rare orgasm. Most of the half hour is spent making out and edging me over and over again.

For some who watch a lot of porn, the length of sex is determined by the director.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
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post #20 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 05:18 AM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

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Aftercare is once the pursuit of increasing/enjoying arousal is over (often culminating in the male having an orgasm), how long do you spend together intimately as each of you calms down and return to normal. A good example of aftercare would be a very close hug, rubbing each other's back, and enjoying a rather intimate conversation about your relationship.

Couples that do not engage in aftercare may become independent from one another immediately after orgasm. A stereotype of this couple would be where one person immediately goes and gets a shower about 30 seconds after an orgasm while the other person gets back dressed and goes about their day.
Yes, that's really not possible for me to quantify; it varies wildly. Could be a few minutes, to a few hours, depending on so many factors.


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post #21 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 06:13 AM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

5 min foreplay...1-2 min pounding. I hate it, and she truly enjoys it. She tells me the quicker the better. Lol

Although I'm laughing at this. Her mentality has put a damper on our relationship from my perspective.

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post #22 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 06:28 AM
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Cool Re: How long on average does sex last?

Damn, @Juice ~ Talk about "Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma'am!"

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post #23 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 06:42 AM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

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Damn, @Juice ~ Talk about "Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma'am!"
Lets be real for a second here. As usual, TAM is a world of outliers. Study after study suggests that his timing is actually the norm.


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post #24 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 06:59 AM
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Cool Re: How long on average does sex last?

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Lets be real for a second here. As usual, TAM is a world of outliers. Study after study suggests that his timing is actually the norm.
And I certainly cannot refute that!

But thank God that is certainly not the norm for me as well as a lot of others!

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post #25 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 07:33 AM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

There was no option for '20-25' minutes, so I just put 15.

We sometimes have longer sessions, but in 20 minutes, we both accomplish everything we require with one another! My wife is quick and capable of multiple O's, so there's no real need for anything lengthy.

I would prefer longer, but the reality is that my wife does not like to be teased to the brink of orgasm, only for me to pull back. And after 3 or 4 O's, she's done. She can have more occasionally, but it's rare these days.

On the bright side, it's almost always different. We don't always do the same things, or in the same order, or the same positions. We mix it up a lot, so that's good.

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post #26 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 08:45 AM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

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(Thread to include a poll)

The amount of time needed for full satisfaction seems to vary from person to person. The dynamics created for a couple's need for time seems to me to be a very overlooked aspect of intimacy that more often than not creates problems.

I have read some situations about where sex in marriage never goes beyond a fifteen minute session, while others seem to always need a few hours.

I am just now starting to appreciate one of my wife's biggest complaints. She has often mentioned the time needed for us is often one of the most problematic elements for her. Regardless of what happens or does not happen when we are intimate, I am coming to the conclusion that she has a set amount of time per week that she is able to enjoy close physical intimacy. Not too long ago she advocated that if things could be more efficient that she might enjoy us being together more often. I'm pretty big into foreplay and aftercare (about 45 minutes for each). While my wife seems to enjoy this as well, for both of us to be satisfied things can last for almost two hours per session. I'll admit that makes things rather challenging for us to be spontaneous as we have to find moments where the day is not too busy. While I can be much quicker if needed (down to 10 minutes), I find those experiences problematic as they leave me feeling a little emotionally empty.

So including foreplay, sex, & aftercare... how long does sex last in your marriage, and what if any aspects of that is a source of problems?

Thanks,
Badsanta

Something between 35-60 mins
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post #27 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 08:58 AM Thread Starter
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

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Originally Posted by Juice View Post
5 min foreplay...1-2 min pounding. I hate it, and she truly enjoys it. She tells me the quicker the better. Lol

Although I'm laughing at this. Her mentality has put a damper on our relationship from my perspective.
Thanks for sharing!

THIS is a problematic dynamic I am getting at. I also think this is a completely gender neutral topic as both male and females can equally desire both short and long periods of intimacy. BOTH of the following seem equally as problematic and emotionally painful:

A) If someone desires only a short time, asking that person for more time.
B) If a person desire a lot of time, asking that person to hurry and get done.

If I can ask @Juice what aspect of intimacy is it that your wife enjoys about it happening so fast? Is it that she knows exactly how to make you loose control and she can enjoy making you climax much faster than you anticipate? If that is the case, there could be tremendous personal validation in that for her in that she feels as though she can easily overpower you with her beauty and confidence.
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post #28 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 09:17 AM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

From foreplay to O, I would say in the range of 30-45 minutes. I like to leave myself at least a good 5 minutes afterwards to have a bowl of ice cream
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post #29 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 11:06 AM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

To be honest @badsanta it is still a mystery for me. She likes it hard and fast, and is not interested in having sex for long periods of time. She doesn't get wrapped up in all the hype about sex and she could care less. It's just how she's programmed.

On my end... she's says I'm the one with the issues and that's why if you read some of my post I'm searching for more in our sex life. It's a working progress on both ends and we're working on meeting in the middle.

I can't complain too much I get it 2-3x a week (sometimes less due to busy lives). At the end of the day there's people getting far less




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post #30 of 53 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 11:06 AM
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Re: How long on average does sex last?

Back when we were having sex, I was in juice's category. Well, waaayyyy back when H2 was faking interest I spent more time on foreplay foolishly thinking that if I spent enough time I might stumble across something she enjoyed. Eventually she got tired of pretending. At that point she would tolerate a few minutes of foreplay before she told me to put it in and get done as quickly as possible. That is part of the complex dynamic that lead to us no longer having any sex.

To me zero minutes beats 5 minutes.

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