I see, same as men?
You forgot one very important thing, opportunity. Women are no longer confined to the domestic front. Employment increases contact with men.
I didn't explicitly say this, but yeah. The more women attain equal status as men in all aspects, the more it is accepted if they behave similarly.
What about primal evolutionary impulses beyond our control? If it is true for men then it is true for women.
I am not sure whether we disagree or agree on this issue.
And what exactly are "primal evolutionary impulses"? I assume you mean desire for sex/sexual intimacy, right?
Quite frankly, I believe that human behavior
is primarily nurture and very little nature. Therefore, while people may have those impulses (they they can't control), acting on them is whole different story.
A person who cheats may follow his "primal impulse" but nobody can seriously tell me that if I offered that person $1000 bucks not to cheat, they would easily forego that activity - which is proof that at the end of the day they choose to cheat.
I partly agree with what you're saying but I also think you're taking the easy way out. Neither one 'deserves' any of this. Yes, in an ideal world they should both put equal effort in to resolve the problem. I don't defend her but in another thread by Brendan I have described in detail how I felt with my depression and how I perceived my relationship and that the suggestions you're making here - as logical as they are - are not as clear cut if you have MDD.
If it isn't him - who owns "fixing the problem"? I think she does. And that means lifestyle - exercise - therapy - etc.
Yeah, tell a depressed person, they should 'just' do it. That's the first fallacy.
None of this is that difficult. You either believe you are entitled to demand that your partner be involuntarily celibate, or you don't. I don't and fortunately my W doesn't. We both believe the vow to "love" includes making an effort for sex to be a positive part of the marriage. For the HD partner that means not grinding your LD spouse wi incessant demands. For the LD partner that means making the same effort not to starve/reject the most important person in your life.
I agree with all of this. But again, the depression is a major factor, the lack of sex just a symptom. You can't fix the symptom until you fix the actual problem.
All that said Brendan's issue isn't really sex it's that his wife doesn't really respect him.
See, this makes me believe that you don't really know what depression is, otherwise you wouldn't make that argument. Being depressed doesn't mean you don't respect somebody and it doesn't mean you don't love somebody.