Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Camfrog user name 19CrazyGuy72
Re: thinking of getting a sex partner whilst married
I do not know if this matters. I have the nice guy mentality. Some think that is bad. Because of this mentality, I think I have stuck my marriage out a lot longer then many other guys. My wife would have the same problems she has regardless of what kind of guy she married. Some think being a nice guy is week, I disagree.
A nice guy is always asking what can I do or what am I doing wrong. They bend and bend more until they can't. Then they start thinking about how bad they are feeling themselves but they do not realize it yet.
For me having sex again would make things bearable. I think many guys are the same that try to fix everything. Often sex is the first to stop at any hiccup. They identify sex as the problem because it was the first to go and it is what they need to feel worth a crap and continue on.
So us nice guys look like all we care about is sex when in reality it is a sign that we are getting close to the end after many failed attempts. We look selfish and for speaking only for myself, I felt selfish for something that is normal in a marriage. To an outsider at this stage we now look like pricks only interested in sex.
If the nice guy still can not get what he needs, even the nice guy will start thinking about cheating. Not that he will cheat, but the idea starts popping in his head. This makes the nice guy to start hating himself. I know how I could not stand to look at my self in the mirror, would cuss at my self. It will get really bad until it clicks. Hey I can not fix everything, it is not all my fault there is not much more I can do.
But the same problem is still there. Not much you can do about your urge to have sex, you need it soon. That is when a nice guy does not care anymore about being nice. It is now this needs fixed now or I am gone. He realizes there are women that would love to be with him. He lost hope in the marriage.
He will calm down again somewhat. Realize he has to make one last go round just to make sure he is not making a mistake. This is at the point I started to post here. Get fresh ideas, perhaps something I missed. I forced us both back into marriage counseling again. But now I realize I can not change her, she needs to change. I need to leave for my own sanity if she does not change.
The kicker is leaving the marriage is the ultimate 180. That may finally make her wake up, then what?
Last edited by CrazyGuy; 01-21-2012 at 11:08 AM.