Re: thinking of getting a sex partner whilst married
Brendan, what did I say about insanity?
I see nothing but heartbreak from here. Wife is unwilling to meet him even part way. Wife hates this other girl but won't address what led Brendan to her. I agree with Atholk when he says that she doesn't respect him.
If Brendan continues down the current path, wife won't change. And why should she? She already has everything she needs. Brendan will find himself in an affair sooner or later, might be 6 months, might be 3 more years of this, the temptation will just be too huge to shut down. I've seen this happen to men I know. In every case, they wanted to take their fidelity seriously, but for whatever reasons, their wives eventually stopped helping them maintain that fidelity. Might have been him, might have been her, whatever, it happened and the sex life broke down.
Brendan, you need to go back to working 50 hours/week and pay for babysitter/nanny/caretaker, whatever is needed at home. You need to restore the leader role that you had before the marriage. You should push her to get involved in some local volunteer activity that gets her making it about other people. Doesn't have to be a big thing, a few hours a week would work. This will change the dynamic. Wife won't like it, consider that a fitness test, but there is the chance that she may regain her respect for you. It sucks sometimes that a wife's view of her husband is often dependent on his provider role, but that is the reality of many if not most marriages and I think it is the reality of your marriage as well.
Divorce may end up being your best option. Perhaps the threat of it will get her to act when all else fails.
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