Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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View Poll Results: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies
Yes 29 63.04%
No 13 28.26%
neither answer applies 4 8.70%
Voters: 46. You may not vote on this poll

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post #16 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 02:09 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
I think fantasies *have* to be inappropriate for them to be effective imo. I don't see the point of having vanilla, wholesome fantasies - it would do nothing for me. They have to cross boundaries and be outrageous and absolutely taboo and un-do-able in real life.
I don't know...my fantasies of waking up to someone making me a fresh BLT on seeded bread along with an ice cold Dr Pepper has still yet to come true. It's starting to feel like the ultimate taboo!
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post #17 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 02:18 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I answered no.

I have a fantasy to rape. But it only includes raping my wife. And it starts with me surprising her, forcing myself on her, scaring her .... but ends with her getting incredibly turned on. It starts as rape but ends with great sex.

So is that inappropriate?

Do people actually fantasize about rape and it actually includes confronting a stranger, forcing them to have sex and then running off? Like actual rape? That would be disturbing to me.

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post #18 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 02:25 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

Well I do wake up early, and I do make a mean BLT. As long as there is no sex involved . . . . . I'd be up for it.
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post #19 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 02:27 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I answered "neither" because I do not think any sexual fantasy is inappropriate.

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post #20 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 02:36 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Well I do wake up early, and I do make a mean BLT. As long as there is no sex involved . . . . . I'd be up for it.
Yea, but when you do it in real life, it won't be as great as the fantasy.
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post #21 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 02:38 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Well I do wake up early, and I do make a mean BLT. As long as there is no sex involved . . . . . I'd be up for it.
Don't tease me you silver tongued devil you!
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post #22 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 03:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I'm sure some people have fantasies of committing actual rape. I expect some people have fantasies of being raped. They probably think of the fantasies as "realistic", but of course they aren't really - they are still carefully crafted to be arousing, not the violent and abusive reality.

The thing about fantasy forced sex is that the person with the fantasy is in complete control of the behaviors of all people involved. Rape is a case of loss of control but in a fantasy you have complete control.

Many other fantasies probably go the same way -they are imagined as "realistic" but in general get rid of all of the "bad" parts of a scenario and leave only the arousing parts.




Quote:
Originally Posted by SadSamIAm View Post
I answered no.

I have a fantasy to rape. But it only includes raping my wife. And it starts with me surprising her, forcing myself on her, scaring her .... but ends with her getting incredibly turned on. It starts as rape but ends with great sex.

So is that inappropriate?

Do people actually fantasize about rape and it actually includes confronting a stranger, forcing them to have sex and then running off? Like actual rape? That would be disturbing to me.
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post #23 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 01:00 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I think fantasies of any nature can be normal even if the content is severely screwed up as long as you don't act on them. That being said if you feel like they're something that are causing you distress​ or you are worried that they could cause you or someone else distress then maybe seek the help of a therapist.

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post #24 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 01:01 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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You are going to have to define "inappropriate fantasies". Things that some might consider healthy and harmless others might consider immoral, sick and repugnant. I suggest you start a new poll asking people whether they consider specific fantasies to be "appropriate" or "inappropriate". And don't start with "rape" or "incest". I have the feeling a good number of people in here might find fantasizing about anyone other than their spouses to be inappropriate. Same for homosexual fantasies. Some find those "fun" and "natural", other think of those as "deviant" and "unhealthy".
Totally agree.

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post #25 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 01:10 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

WRT fantasies, "unhealthy" also makes an appearance if one dwells on a fantasy to the point that not progressing from fantasy to action results in stress, unhappiness or resentment. Many fantasies may actually include none other than one's spouse, but involve doing something the spouse would never do. Placing these at the center of your fantasy life and indulging them can become inappropriate based on the effect it has on your relationship.
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post #26 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 02:59 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

Mary says reality can never measure up to fantasy.

I always wonder about that girl.
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post #27 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 03:30 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

A lot of my fantasies are things I wouldn't want to happen in real life so I guess that makes them inappropriate.

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post #28 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 03:53 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I guess I'm hung up on the definition of inappropriate. Are we talking illegal like incest, child or rape or something like threesome or sleeping with your wife's best friend? Just saying aren't most fantasies inappropriate? That's why their fantasies and not reality?

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post #29 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 04:15 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

In general, I think fantasies by definition must be inappropriate if enacted. Or else it's not much of a fantasy.

Most of my fantasies aren't sexual in nature.
Most of my sexual fantasies involve some stuff that I actually have no desire to make reality. It's fun to imagine. The real thing would be a letdown.

Do you hear the people sing / Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people / Who are climbing to the light.
For the wretched of the earth / There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end / And the sun will rise...
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post #30 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 04:31 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I wouldn't feed or dwell on any fantasy that was illegal or immoral. After all we can control where our minds go.
The sort of fantasies that to me would be unacceptable are anything that involves violence or force(rape, incest), sex with an underage person, bestiality, fantasizing about someone you are not married to, pretending your spouse is someone else when you have sex with them etc etc.
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