Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

View Poll Results: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies
Yes 29 63.04%
No 13 28.26%
neither answer applies 4 8.70%
Voters: 46. You may not vote on this poll

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post #46 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 05:26 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I have a vivid imagination. Being the narrator is what allows the fantasy to be arousing. I've shared some with my husband... I don't feel he needs to know everything that goes on in the canals of my mind. There's certainly a running theme though.

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post #47 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 05:42 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

And not meaning sneakers and marathons.

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #48 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 06:53 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I very much enjoy having sexual fantasies about things that are impossible (tentacles) or illegal(non-consensual) or immoral or even (horrors!) unhygienic. It fascinates me how many other people are clearly aroused by similar fantasies (NOT actions) to mine. Thank you, internet. Acknowledging that certain of those things turn me on has given me a far greater understanding of my sexual nature and improved my sex life immeasurably. (Which was far more fun than that sentence sounds.) And I agree that imposing moral judgements on the doodlings of my inner world would be ridiculous.

The majority of my sexual fantasies tend to star imaginary characters. Or at least people that I could never meet. And usually happen in the third person. (Which is weird considering that I am not really moved by porn much. Except in a technically curious way.) I'd like to say that this happened because I decided that for me there could be dangers in consciously and repeatedly taking sexual pleasure from something that I could actually carry out. But it was probably just the path of least resistance around residual guilt from my conservative upbringing.

(What I am curious about is when I wake up aroused and remembering fragments of the dream that I was having. Where the subject matter is sometimes downright peculiar. It's as though my subconscious wanders around inside my head and randomly picks up stuff and knits it together, cackling wildly. At least I hope that is what it is doing. The thought that there might be another layer of weirdness in me that I haven't found yet is a bit unsettling.)

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more. ― C.S. Lewis

FINE PRINT: My post is simply my own opinion (unless indicated otherwise). Which I believe I am entitled to express, as best as I can.
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post #49 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 07:29 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

Uhtred, I completely understand your question as well as your explanations. An inappropriate fantasy is one is one you would not want anyone else to know. Seems pretty simple. I do. I have tem all the time. I think it is a normal part of being sexually healthy. I am also of the mind that it is a normal part of being healthy period. Even if you are in a relationship, you are still you. I may be wrong, but I don't see how one can give up themselves entirely in becoming someone else's SO. You still have your own mind and your own thoughts, as do they. You may share your thoughts, and some people share their fantasies. But even then I wonder if they share the whole fantasy. As far as the people go who allow law to limit their fantasies - well I have nothing but pity for anyone who allows others to dictate their thoughts.

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post #50 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 09:04 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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LOL!!! Seriously this is your list of unacceptable and you have the hutzpuh to claim to have such a banging sex life? Honey if this stuff is unacceptable to even think about there is no way your sex life is anything but a snooze fest.
Hell AP, I'm willing to bet that she hates chocolate syrup on her vanilla ice cream.
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post #51 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 09:36 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

While I have what most people would consider inappropriate fantasies, I don't see anything wrong with someone who doesn't. Vanilla is fine as long as it makes you and your partner happy. I just hope vanilla people won't put down those of us who enjoy 31 flavors, Sundays, and banana splits.




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Hell AP, I'm willing to bet that she hates chocolate syrup on her vanilla ice cream.
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post #52 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 09:38 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Hell AP, I'm willing to bet that she hates chocolate syrup on her vanilla ice cream.
Maybe true.

But it's important to state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with vanilla only.

What is wrong is insisting that anything other than vanilla is morally wrong.

What is wrong is insisting that vanilla is 31 flavors of yum.

"Some women are blessed with multi-orgasmic ability for a reason and I'm damn sure not going to waste a blessing" ~FrenchFry

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post #53 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 09:53 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Maybe true.

But it's important to state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with vanilla only.

What is wrong is insisting that anything other than vanilla is morally wrong.

What is wrong is insisting that vanilla is 31 flavors of yum.
I never implied that vanilla is bad or wrong. However, if Baskin Robbins sold vanilla only, they would have been out of business mere days after opening.

And you're right, vanilla is not 31 flavors of yum.
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post #54 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 10:04 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Originally Posted by Anon Pink View Post
LOL!!! Seriously this is your list of unacceptable and you have the hutzpuh to claim to have such a banging sex life? Honey if this stuff is unacceptable to even think about there is no way your sex life is anything but a snooze fest.
Really? Who's to say that there's anything inconsistent about Diana's statement?

Think about it logically for a minute--the better one's real life is, the less call there is for fantasy. If Diana's fantasy life is limited, it may well be evidence that her sex life is actually better than everyone else's here. She may well be the most satisfied person on these boards. The greatest source of unhappiness is want. If she is without want, I say hallelujah, more power to her, and we should all be so lucky.

I certainly don't feel the need to belittle such a person. Where does such a motivation come from, anyway?
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post #55 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 11:13 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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I certainly don't feel the need to belittle such a person. Where does such a motivation come from, anyway?
I am caught on the fence here and it is because what I find intolerable in anyone is a lack of tolerance. I agree Yeti, that we have no call to belittle anyone for saying what they think and feel. Clearly some people do not get pleasure from having inappropriate fantasies, nor desire to do so. That is their experience, and they are entitled to voice that. My experience has been that my inappropriate fantasies bring me a great deal of pleasure and have enriched my life. I have found it liberating to realise that I am not alone in this. And I believe that I am also entitled to voice my experiences without feeling belittled/shamed.

When I read @Diana7 's words, I read them as being judgemental. So I agreed with several of the posted responses to her post. My interpretation could be entirely unfair. If so, I apologise for that. I would suggest to Diana that in the future, she shares her experiences in a personal fashion and not appear to imply that people who choose to fantasise thus, lack control over "where our minds go".

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more. ― C.S. Lewis

FINE PRINT: My post is simply my own opinion (unless indicated otherwise). Which I believe I am entitled to express, as best as I can.

Last edited by Mizzbak; 05-20-2017 at 02:51 PM.
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post #56 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 11:54 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

None this year so far. No cute interns. Got a couple interns but definitely not fantasy material. The male industrial design intern is a Justin Bieber lookalike - but he's God with Rhino - and the female math / cog sci major intern is way too serious (wtf).

The rule of the lab is no inappropriate thoughts about interns anyway. Let's see if the moms are any good this year.
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post #57 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 12:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I do make myself a strict rule of no fantasizing about interns or employees. Too much risk of letting that turn into biased decisions at work.

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None this year so far. No cute interns. Got a couple interns but definitely not fantasy material. The male industrial design intern is a Justin Bieber lookalike - but he's God with Rhino - and the female math / cog sci major intern is way too serious (wtf).

The rule of the lab is no inappropriate thoughts about interns anyway. Let's see if the moms are any good this year.
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post #58 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 12:37 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Originally Posted by Anon Pink View Post
Maybe true.

But it's important to state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with vanilla only.

What is wrong is insisting that anything other than vanilla is morally wrong.

What is wrong is insisting that vanilla is 31 flavors of yum.
Crumbs! ;-)
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post #59 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 01:24 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Really?

You fantasize about aliens with tentacles too?


Talk about close encounters of the third Kind! More than a fantasy, it seems to be more as a great start to a future Sci-fi X-rated blockbuster movie.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #60 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 01:34 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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I do make myself a strict rule of no fantasizing about interns or employees. Too much risk of letting that turn into biased decisions at work.


I don't know, the way my cleaning lady looks at me it's hard not to let the mind wander. Especially when she calls me sir.


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