Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies - Talk About Marriage
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View Poll Results: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies
Yes 27 61.36%
No 13 29.55%
neither answer applies 4 9.09%
Voters: 44. You may not vote on this poll

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post #1 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 07:22 PM Thread Starter
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Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

From another thread, I'm wondering how many people have sexual fantasies of things that are totally inappropriate to be shared. Incest, rape, etc etc. Things that would be so awful in real life that you would not share them with a partner.

Note - I'm not asking to hear *what* those fantasies are, just do they exist?
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post #2 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 11:30 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

Sure, I have them all the time. I do share them with my partners, though.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #3 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 11:59 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I'm human and I have a wondering mind. I do and I reserve the right to keep some of those fantasies to myself. That's part of being healthy and I will stay that way. I hope my partners keep some of those fantasies for them only. Not everything, especially fantasies need to be shared if not acted upon, especially if they are just random thoughts that will never become anything else.

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post #4 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 11:11 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

You are going to have to define "inappropriate fantasies". Things that some might consider healthy and harmless others might consider immoral, sick and repugnant. I suggest you start a new poll asking people whether they consider specific fantasies to be "appropriate" or "inappropriate". And don't start with "rape" or "incest". I have the feeling a good number of people in here might find fantasizing about anyone other than their spouses to be inappropriate. Same for homosexual fantasies. Some find those "fun" and "natural", other think of those as "deviant" and "unhealthy".

Last edited by DosXXMan; 05-18-2017 at 11:25 AM.
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post #5 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 11:22 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I didn't want to get into specific fantasies - partly because I think it violates the rules of this board.

What I'm talking about here are things that you would almost never share - unless you had a very unusually understanding partner.

I have fantasies that I would like to share if my wife were not so easily disturbed, but others that would almost certainly need to remain private with almost anyone.

It is a fuzzy boundary - some people will accept pretty much anything as OK in fantasy, others would be shocked by some of the most common fantasies.
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post #6 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 11:39 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

Nothing illegal, which genuinely surprises me but there are some 'acts' that I've only been able to enjoy with some partners and have had to keep secret from others.
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post #7 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 11:54 AM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

Some

and then, there are inappropriate fantasies that has no sexual sides to them... Such as chocking the living s*&& out of a few people that really deserves it, or, as per Chicago 'he had it coming'.

working on this
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post #8 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 12:02 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I have what would likely be defined by most as "inappropriate" fantasies and so does DH. However, we do share them with each other.

Freaky, dark, violent...whatever...we have a " say anything" relationship. Some we've acted out or approximated and others we have decided are too damaging or dangerous and we wouldn't do it, but have fun talking about it.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #9 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 12:06 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I am curious as to what an inappropriate fantasy would be? Illegal for sure. But humiliation? Some folks like that sort of thing.
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post #10 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 12:06 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I don't entertain some of the mentioned fantasies because I'm not interested in them. There are other fantasies that I thought were too taboo to share but that were eventually shared, and even acted out.
On the other hand I have had some sleeping dreams that left me quite shaken when I awoke.
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post #11 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 12:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I view it as things that a significant fraction of people would find disturbing.

For some people homosexual fantasies fall into this category - a lot of women would be very concerned to hear that their husbands fantasized about being with another man.

For many violent fantasies are too shocking, but others find them completely OK.

Some of the things on porn sites are really disturbing - but since they are there, I assume there are people who enjoy them - at least as fantasy.


I guess my question was not well defined. I would not be shocked by almost any fantasy from my wife - though there are certainly ones I would not want to try. Other people would be shocked by what I would consider to be relatively mild fantasies.





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Originally Posted by Finwe View Post
I am curious as to what an inappropriate fantasy would be? Illegal for sure. But humiliation? Some folks like that sort of thing.
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post #12 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 12:45 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

Not particularly, unless Carla Gugino and Sofia Vergara count as inappropriate.
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post #13 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 12:50 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

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Originally Posted by uhtred View Post
From another thread, I'm wondering how many people have sexual fantasies of things that are totally inappropriate to be shared. Incest, rape, etc etc. Things that would be so awful in real life that you would not share them with a partner.

Note - I'm not asking to hear *what* those fantasies are, just do they exist?
Sure, but not what you are thinking. My wife and I have gone through sex therapy sessions to save our marriage. We have negotiated a variety of grid-lock sexual issues with each other and know our respective boundaries.

I know absolutely that my wife will never give or receive oral. Do I occasionally fantasize about having oral sex with my wife? Yup.

I remember when dating, she promised me that after we were married anything a husband and wife would do was allowed. I remember in therapy when she said that she would never be able to do that. I know she would be revolted and frightened if I told her I fantasized about having oral sex with her, so I won't, but she is still my wife and I love her.

Since I am aware of the other thread. None of my fantasies involved rape, incest, underage girls, or such things. They usually involve my wife, a past girl friend I dated (before my wife), or some future time what I might do if I outlive my wife. If my wife would ask me about my fantasies, I would clean them up a bit and share them with her, but I also know that she wants absolutely no knowledge of my sexual desires. She knows what we have agreed to and for her that is all she wants to know.
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post #14 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 12:59 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I used to have many inappropriate fantasies. Because I fantasized about having sex with my wife. And her enjoying it. Long after it was clear she did not want to have sex with me and did not enjoy it on the rare occasions when we did. Now I have stopped having these inappropriate fantasies. I don't fantasize about sex with my wife. I fantasize about sex with other women. Because while I suspect they wouldn't want to have sex with me and wouldn't enjoy it, I don't know that to a moral certainty. With my wife, I do. So I don't.

When you can see it coming, duck!
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post #15 of 77 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 01:01 PM
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Re: Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies

I think fantasies *have* to be inappropriate for them to be effective imo. I don't see the point of having vanilla, wholesome fantasies - it would do nothing for me. They have to cross boundaries and be outrageous and absolutely taboo and un-do-able in real life.
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