Re: Intimacy and Resentment
OP, if you honestly think you may not be meeting her emotional needs, then I recommend you buy and read two books: Lovebusters and His Needs, Her Needs. Both are by Willard Harley. Read them in that order. The first will let you know what you may be doing that is killing love - creating emotional disconnect and smothering sexual attraction - in your marriage. You will need to stop doing those things in order for the second book to do much good. His Needs, Her Needs will give you a good explanation of what the most common emotional/relationship needs are for most men and most women. That should help you figure out what her needs are and better ways to meet them, if you're not doing so now. Eventually, it would be ideal if your wife would also read the books and implement the plans provided.
However, as has been pointed out to you, you married your wife 3+ years after you started to have issue with a lack of sex in the relationship. What that basically means is that you let her know - by marrying her - that you were happy with the amount of sex you two were having. Even if you said otherwise, she likely assumed that if this were actually a deal breaker you wouldn't have married her. You should never marry unless you're perfectly happy with the relationship as it stands before marriage, and are willing to accept the relationship - again, exactly as it stands - for the rest of your life. You cannot change other people. And marriage does not improve bad, or even kinda iffy, relationships. Ever.
You'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view. - Obi Wan Kenobi