Can't sleep after sex - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 02:08 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

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Originally Posted by Herschel View Post
Have sex at 3am. Might as well if you are up...
Damn you Herschel! You beat me to it!


@uhtred
I'm a guy, and I have this problem. What I've found is that I'm quite rested afterwards. As thought I slept plenty. Does your wife feel this way?

Do you hear the people sing / Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people / Who are climbing to the light.
For the wretched of the earth / There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end / And the sun will rise...
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post #17 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 03:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

No, she feels like she hasn't slept. Has trouble working the next day.

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Damn you Herschel! You beat me to it!


@uhtred
I'm a guy, and I have this problem. What I've found is that I'm quite rested afterwards. As thought I slept plenty. Does your wife feel this way?
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post #18 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 03:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

She sleeps poorly in general, but especially badly after sex.

She might not be getting satisfied - but she seems, to, and claims to, and I'm happy to to anything at all she wants. If she's been faking for 30 years, I'm not sure what to suggest.

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Originally Posted by Rocky Mountain Yeti View Post
I guess I should have asked if this inability to sleep a general phenomenon or is itonly after sex.

Maybe she's actually getting wound up, but not satisfied?
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post #19 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 03:18 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

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One of the reasons my wife gives for not wanting sex is that she cannot sleep well afterwards. Its true - even if we have sex early in the evening she will get to sleep just fine, but then wake up very early (like 3am) and not be able to sleep afterwards.

Most people sleep well after sex. Has anyone else experienced this?
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She does tend to stress a lot about things - even very minor things. She doesn't say so, but maybe she is over-thinking after sex?
My wife can be the same and has made similar comments.

What I have told my wife and seems to work for us, it that any time she has a problem getting to sleep, she should wake me and ask me to rub her back. I have told her that if her having sex with me causes her sleeping problems I want to be part of her solution.

My wife has a stressful job and if she wakes up will start worrying about it. She needs to better learn how to clear her head of thoughts to go back to sleep. In the absense of that a soothing (non-sexual) backrub seems to allow her to drift off back to sleep pretty quickly.

Your mileage may vary. Good luck.
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post #20 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 05:08 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

It sounds like just another excuse, this stuff is all in the mind and can be controlled if people truly want it to be.

I am usually wide awake after night time sex while MrH is asleep in under a minute, bless him. I love love love the sound of him falling into a deep sleep for some odd reason it makes me feel at peace. So I lie there touching him or holding his hand, listen to him and then drift off peacefully.

It is a decision, let things be used as an excuse or go with the flow and find a solution.
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post #21 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 05:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

It IS another excuse, but even more so than most ,there is some real truth behind it.

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It sounds like just another excuse, this stuff is all in the mind and can be controlled if people truly want it to be.

I am usually wide awake after night time sex while MrH is asleep in under a minute, bless him. I love love love the sound of him falling into a deep sleep for some odd reason it makes me feel at peace. So I lie there touching him or holding his hand, listen to him and then drift off peacefully.

It is a decision, let things be used as an excuse or go with the flow and find a solution.
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post #22 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 06:05 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

After I have an orgasm, I feel like I have been shot from a catapult, I have so much energy.

Don't know if that helps or not.

[I'm female]
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post #23 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 07:36 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

my wife seems to have this as well. She can't sleep after sex and is wide awake.

So we have to avoid later in the evening. And in the morning because she will hurt all day.

And avoid any night before she has to work the next day.

and any time that the earth is spinning. (she has not used the last one yet)

Good luck.
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post #24 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 07:52 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

It's 2am, we just finished. And I'm wide awake as usual, she's passed out.
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post #25 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 08:57 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

It usually takes me a couple hours to fall asleep after sex...

My wife, depends on the night, but she usually falls asleep quickly.

Neither of us ever sleep through the night though. Both of us have neurological issues that wake us up several times a night. Sex doesn't seem to make a difference.

"The ecologist is continually having to look at the aspects of nature with which he is unfamiliar and perforce must be an amateur for much of his working time.... professionals may carp at omissions, misconstructions, or even downright errors in these pages. perhaps ultimately they may forgive them for the sake of the overall vision that only the amateur, or the ecologist, blithely sets out to experience."G. Evelyn Hutchinson
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post #26 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 10:07 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

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Originally Posted by notmyrealname4 View Post
After I have an orgasm, I feel like I have been shot from a catapult, I have so much energy.

Don't know if that helps or not.

[I'm female]
This is me too! I am somewhat hyper after, full of energy. Don't know why - but it happens every time. An excuse? Yes, I suppose you could say it's my excuse for not wanting night time sex. But I prefer the word reason instead of excuse.
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post #27 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 11:06 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

Not me. I sleep like a baby. I'm totally satisfied and relaxed after sex. I do tend to change the sheets and shower afterwards though. My stupid sister told me I'm not normal for cleaning my self and the bed afterwards. My response was that I felt more fresh and ready for wake up sex that way.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #28 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 11:21 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

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Not me. I sleep like a baby. I'm totally satisfied and relaxed after sex. I do tend to change the sheets and shower afterwards though. My stupid sister told me I'm not normal for cleaning my self and the bed afterwards. My response was that I felt more fresh and ready for wake up sex that way.
Wow my wife is not this way. After sex and orgasms she holds me tight and she's asleep soon after ... usually with her head on my chest. And I go to sleep with my hand in her hair. We both sleep like babies. There's nothing more wonderful as this.
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post #29 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 11:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

Interesting. My wife feels sleepy right after, but there is a sort of delayed effect like you describe. How long does that last for you?

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Originally Posted by mary35 View Post
This is me too! I am somewhat hyper after, full of energy. Don't know why - but it happens every time. An excuse? Yes, I suppose you could say it's my excuse for not wanting night time sex. But I prefer the word reason instead of excuse.
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post #30 of 50 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 11:36 PM
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Re: Can't sleep after sex

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Wow my wife is not this way. After sex and orgasms she holds me tight and she's asleep soon after ... usually with her head on my chest. And I go to sleep with my hand in her hair. We both sleep like babies. There's nothing more wonderful as this.
Yeah that's what she says. She basks in the glow of after sex sleep. That's why I called her stupid. I can't sleep hugging anyone or too close to anybody, but I can once I wake up though.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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