My husband won't help improve our sex life
My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married for 4. We rushed into marriage a bit, because I was pregnant. We were happy and loved each other, it just sped things up. I was young and didn't put too much importance on a good sex life. I have never had an orgasm from anything but a vibrator. Not from a man or my own hands. So maybe this is all a waste of worry, and I just can't do it.
Since our daughter was born my husband's sex drive has taken a pretty big hit, as has the quality of our sex. Saying the sex sucks would be fair. We don't kiss, don't look at each other, always 1 of 3 positions. It's like I'm not even there. I am there, still and silent and my mind wanders to anything other than what we're doing or wondering when he will be done. The thing is... he says he enjoys our sex life. I read about many men complaining because their wife is a "dead fish", apparently mine likes that?! What? Half the problem is he doesn't last long at all. If I act into it, kiss him, touch him, he lasts for about 1 second. In the beginning of our relationship the sex was good, but I had to hold back on showing any sign that it was good if I wanted it to last. Now (and I don't know why) the sex physically doesn't feel good for me. There is just no pleasure anymore. He rarely goes down on me, if he does he doesn't have patience. Yesterday he said maybe we are sexually incompatible, but he doesn't even try to fix it!
He also won't tell me what he's into (fantasies or fetishes). There has to be something, but he says he doesn't have any. I searched his internet history to try and see what porn he looks at, but didn't really find anything because he clears his history or uses incognito. The only ones that I saw were Asian (can't do anything about that), lesbian (he has said it would be hot, but I'm not bi so no), MFM or FMF (says he isn't into), and two videos of a guy having anal penetration from a woman/toy (says he is not into at all). I know people can look at random stuff, I have.
I just don't know what to do at this point. The rest of our relationship is a work in progress, but sex isn't improving at all. I want good sex... I have never had what I'd consider great sex and my mind sometimes wanders to cheating or being with other men. I almost, or maybe not really but could have, cheated a 3 days ago and I don't want that.