good for nothing - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 06:56 PM Thread Starter
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good for nothing

Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. Last time we tried sex she couldn't tell I was in that was at least a year ago she thinks that the small penis and ed are funny and openly laughs at me. I think she has even told her friends about me. I feel I am not good for anything except working and making money. Don't know if its worth continuing the journey. Any thoughts, I need advice.
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 07:15 PM
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Re: good for nothing

Having a small mind and no heart are far worse than your problems. Sorry you are in such a damaging relationship. I would not stay with anybody who enjoyed being cruel.😢 Best of wishes for a happier future for you. Sorry I don't have better advice. Cruel people completely shut me down and I can't deal with them at all.

Never let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 07:23 PM
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Re: good for nothing

;(

Last edited by AlastairfromSupernatural; 05-20-2017 at 07:56 PM. Reason: I seem to have said basically the same thing twice, and I like the repeated one better.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 07:53 PM
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Re: good for nothing

Divorce her. You are in an abusive relationship. Since you seem to be the breadwinner, you can get the last laugh by forcing her to work for something once in her life.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 07:56 PM
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Re: good for nothing

Does your wife have a job?

I agree with you that its time to file for divorce.

Has she always treated you like this? Or did this behavior start more recently?

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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 08:36 PM
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Re: good for nothing

OP,
If this woman is so shallow that to her your condition is laughable then I regret to inform you that any serious, mature relationship with her is not possible. Understanding that there are certain expectations with sexual intimacy she could have explored other options and still had a satisfying encounter. Her approach was/is juvenile and uncaring. I would hope that by journey you mean the marriage and not your existence because to allow a person of her obvious lack of depth to cause you to feel so worthless so as to entertain suicide would be tragic indeed.

She lacks the intellect to have sensitivity and to "end your journey" over such a person is simply not prudent, unless of course you were referring to the marriage, in which case I wholeheartedly agree with you. There are caring females out there who would cherish a good man regardless the condition (size) of his penis. Find one and know what it is to be accepted, and cared for, for who you are and not just a paycheck.

Peace and long life
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 02:36 AM
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Re: good for nothing

Would you put up with this same level of disrespect from anyone else? Of course not. Our partners should stand by our sides and treat us with respect, kindness and support but if your wife is unable to do that OP, then she's no longer partner material. Get the divorce proceedings started ASAP.

You're not useless for having health issues, though I know all too well how much of an impact they can have on our self-esteem, so try looking at yourself as a whole person rather than just being one with back problems, one with ED, one who is only good for working etc. Put focus on yourself and your own needs first and rebuild your life from there. If the wife can't support you with this task, as you would expect a spouse to, then serve her the divorce papers and cut out the venom she's been infecting you with.

My trigger for divorcing my first wife was her selfish attitude regarding my own health issues. Upon driving me home from the hospital (after serious brain surgery to remove a tumour) she demanded that I pay her for the gas/petrol, complained about how stressed she was having to come visit me, whinged about not having a vacation and gave me a list of 101 jobs she wanted me to do around the house to "apologise" to her for me being ill. Forget that nonsense, you don't need it either my friend.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 07:45 AM
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Cool Re: good for nothing

First off, change your name from something as demeaning as @Uselessmale ~ having that does you absolutely no earthly good!

Get to a good urologist to have them assess your situation with Pyrenees! They can work miracles with men like you!

Unless your W changes her tune, you need to dump her high and dry as her behavior toward you is totally inexcusable!

Sorry to see you here at TAM, but you've come to the best possible place for help and advise!

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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 07:58 AM
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Re: good for nothing

Useless my man, you can write in a get sympathy, but only you can do something about it. You can't be like a lot of folks and hope that complaining will make the other person stop. You're 100% responsible if you stand around and let her treat you like crap. You may be gutless for not doing anything, but you're not useless. As far a your size goes, it may be like the plumber said, "you can't place a 4 inch industrial size coupling on a piece of standard residential pipe".

If you don't embody controversy, what you say will become just another part of the media driven culture of stifling thought and debate about issues.
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 09:42 AM
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Re: good for nothing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uselessmale View Post
Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. Last time we tried sex she couldn't tell I was in that was at least a year ago she thinks that the small penis and ed are funny and openly laughs at me. I think she has even told her friends about me. I feel I am not good for anything except working and making money. Don't know if its worth continuing the journey. Any thoughts, I need advice.
My advice is to run the divorce lawyer and put in for a divorce. Your wife is just a low life piece of ****. You don't need to be with someone like this. Better to be alone. She is not worthy of you. Get rid of her and find your best life and live it. Good luck.
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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 11:05 AM
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Re: good for nothing

Spot on Brook. One of the best treatments for ED, LD, failure to reach orgasm, low self esteem, frustration, et cetera, for both men and women is to jettison the spouse and replace them with one with lower maintenance and more utility.

If you don't embody controversy, what you say will become just another part of the media driven culture of stifling thought and debate about issues.
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 12:11 PM
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Re: good for nothing

Most anything on a Male car body can be "fixed". You need to go the the right specialist.

Surf the web, talk to your doctor(s), break open your wallet, kick the door down, enter the sunlight and fix this problem.

In the "mean" time with her, get the divorce papers started, stash some cash away for the doctors.

Separate your finances. If no children at home, move out.....but, check with your attorney on all moves and plans.

I would talk to the likes of the The Cleveland Clinic. Beware of scams, scam outfits, groups....they are rampant in Men's Health.

The best revenge is one served...cold? Nope, buy a convertible, with the deluxe and optional good looking and warm bodied new GF sitting next to you...after your divorce.

Your EXW will be scratching her head, wondering what the heck is going on. If she asks, tell her my doctors took care of my issues. Everything is back to normal.

Let her stew. Her pot belly will boil over, me thinks!

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 03:20 PM
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Re: good for nothing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uselessmale View Post
Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. Last time we tried sex she couldn't tell I was in that was at least a year ago she thinks that the small penis and ed are funny and openly laughs at me. I think she has even told her friends about me. I feel I am not good for anything except working and making money. Don't know if its worth continuing the journey. Any thoughts, I need advice.
I'm sorry you are going through this and you absolutely have my sympathy.

Something that struck me about your post is that it isn't factual per se - more what you think your wife thinks and does. Openly laughing may be her way of trying to make light of it, to ease your frustration and anxiety, but she is doing it in a really bad way that is making things worse. How do you know she has told her friends? How do you know she thinks it is funny? Have you actually had a conversation about it?

Sometimes humour can be taken the wrong way, some people are very insensitive but not necessarily mean spirited.
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:28 AM
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Re: good for nothing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uselessmale View Post
Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. .
Ugh. Peyronies is kind of the kiss of death for medical help. Things like viagra or trimix injections are contra-indicated.

I believe you CAN safely use a vacuum penis pump and a rubber restriction ring. Perhaps the combination can get you hard enough, and keep it up long enough for her to orgasm?

Of course there are a TON of other sexual things you can do that do NOT require a hard penis. Such as oral sex, bondage, role play, S&M, etc. There are a TON of vibrators and dildos available.

Her humiliating you actually IS a form of sexual act. Small penis humiliation is something that you might actually get into if you have a submissive nature, or want her to act like a Domme. But, it is not for everyone, obviously.

Try to get her into some non-PIV sex, and see if the sex life improves greatly!
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:31 AM
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Re: good for nothing

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
Openly laughing may be her way of trying to make light of it, to ease your frustration and anxiety.
I do agree somewhat. If she treated your ED like it was WWIII, that would be bad. Trying to find the humor in it all is actually the only way it will work. Just so long as she is not mean spirited or vindictive about it. She has to be of the "looks like Mr. Happy is asleep today, guess we will have to try again tomorrow" mind set for it to ever work

BTW, you are DEF NOT "good for nothing". You were a wonderful husband for 30 years. You unfortunately are learning about the "in sickness and in health" part of the deal now.
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