So I'm a good guy. Always have been. Definitely beta material in our relationship. When someone asks if I'm available to do something on a given day I usually joke "I let DW run my life, it's safer that way" and then check my schedule with her.
Been married 27 years. Had a recent dry spell (about 5 years of sex just on holidays, followed by a couple of years of not even that, I gave up initiating about a year ago to see if she ever would. She wouldn't.)
I had an incident with a prescribed drug that made me suicidal but very communicative of my needs and long story short we have tried to reignite our love life in the past two months. At first she said "We need to improve but I don't think we need sex three times a week" but after a couple of weeks of warming up now she's insatiable. We recently had sex (a couple one-sided) 8 times in one week. Yes, twice on two days that week - morning and night.
In doing research since on our dry spell I keep running into all of this advice that says many women want occasional rough sex. Honestly I think this has been an unspoken need in our relationship. I've tried directing her and she really seems to get into it but I don't do it very well and about 5 minutes into it I lose the desire to direct or use her for my own pleasure.
Even when I've used restraints on her recently I realize it's still about me pleasing her and not about rough or selfish sex. Personally I'd like being married to a dominatrix I think. I'm a very successful business executive and I intimidate my employees without even realizing it. When I'm home though it's a complete 180 - I like to be dominated and I like to please. I bought a cheap restraint system a few weeks ago and I can tell you the two times she used it on me was out of this world, but the other way around was less than stellar. I tried using them on her last night and believe it or not even with a Hitachi couldn't bring her to orgasm. I finally gave up, untied her and went to bed. I could tell I was going the wrong direction with it, even though she protested that she "enjoyed it."
So, how do I help to fulfill this need of hers? I have no idea where to begin. All the advice I've seen online, the books I've read or skimmed recently basically don't give any real details and since this is so outside my personality any details I've seen suggested just feel wrong. It doesn't help that she's on antidepressants and half the time I can't get her to orgasm and that makes me over try I think.
Been married 27 years. Had a recent dry spell (about 5 years of sex just on holidays, followed by a couple of years of not even that, I gave up initiating about a year ago to see if she ever would. She wouldn't.)
I had an incident with a prescribed drug that made me suicidal but very communicative of my needs and long story short we have tried to reignite our love life in the past two months. At first she said "We need to improve but I don't think we need sex three times a week" but after a couple of weeks of warming up now she's insatiable. We recently had sex (a couple one-sided) 8 times in one week. Yes, twice on two days that week - morning and night.
In doing research since on our dry spell I keep running into all of this advice that says many women want occasional rough sex. Honestly I think this has been an unspoken need in our relationship. I've tried directing her and she really seems to get into it but I don't do it very well and about 5 minutes into it I lose the desire to direct or use her for my own pleasure.
Even when I've used restraints on her recently I realize it's still about me pleasing her and not about rough or selfish sex. Personally I'd like being married to a dominatrix I think. I'm a very successful business executive and I intimidate my employees without even realizing it. When I'm home though it's a complete 180 - I like to be dominated and I like to please. I bought a cheap restraint system a few weeks ago and I can tell you the two times she used it on me was out of this world, but the other way around was less than stellar. I tried using them on her last night and believe it or not even with a Hitachi couldn't bring her to orgasm. I finally gave up, untied her and went to bed. I could tell I was going the wrong direction with it, even though she protested that she "enjoyed it."
So, how do I help to fulfill this need of hers? I have no idea where to begin. All the advice I've seen online, the books I've read or skimmed recently basically don't give any real details and since this is so outside my personality any details I've seen suggested just feel wrong. It doesn't help that she's on antidepressants and half the time I can't get her to orgasm and that makes me over try I think.